Archive for the 'the wreck' Category

Thanking the Good Samaritans

Published
by
Mike
on February 21, 2005
in Highland, friends and the wreck
. 20 Comments

Still this morning I’m emotionally exhausted.

Yesterday I preached on Eccl. 4:7-12 and the importance of community. “Two are better than one.”

At the end, I talked about how clearly that truth had been taught in the past five weeks to the eight families who were directly involved in the wreck. We learned of the vital importance of community from so many people.

First, there were the seven Highland boys in the following vehicle who were told by the driver (as he got out to go help) to stay in the car. They began praying immediately for their friends. They prayed when we (the parents) didn’t know to pray.

There were also the many people all over the world (check out the comments on my January 16 blog) who carried us in prayer and encouragement. When we were frozen by fear and could hardly pray, others offered those prayers.

I invited the eight families down. It was an emotional sight to see everyone up there–two in wheelchairs and one on crutches, Brody’s parents and brothers, and all the rest of us.

Then four from the group–two children and two parents–offered testimonies about what they’d learned about friendship and community.

Here is what Diane said:

“When I first heard the news that my child was in a serious car accident, I could hardly bare the fact that he was somewhere alone, hurt, and afraid and I wasn’t there. Then a couple of days later I heard news about those who helped our children. I can’t begin to tell you how comforting that was for me.

“In this world where people are afraid to get involved, our children were surrounded by warm, caring adults. As a mother, I am especially thankful for the women who were whispering into our children’s ears with their calm, soothing voices. I’m thankful that they took our place in the dirt, since we couldn’t be there. And I’m grateful that they held our children’s hands and provided their mothering touch.

“On that cold Sunday afternoon in January, these women and men became community in a way I’ll never forget.”

After her words, we invited down many of those who had stopped to help our children and Julie as they lay injured that afternoon. We had invited all we knew of — many of whom our families had been in contact with by phone to thank and to learn more. And yesterday these “Good Samaritans” came to Highland from New Mexico, Monahans, Midland, Lubbock, and Abilene. Can you imagine what it was like for us to see them in person for the first time? Diane and I got to be with the woman who sat by Chris’s side the whole time to calm him, keep him warm, pray for him, and try to keep him awake. When we weren’t there, she became a mother to him.

Then we invited down all the emergency response people who were able to come. We had 13 or 14 able to come from Citizens EMS, Southwest Helicopter, Eula Fire Department, the Callahan County Sheriff’s Department, and a Callahan County judge.

Once they were all down, the church broke into long standing ovations at both services. Then as the elders and wives gathered around all of us, Dickie Porche thanked God that these people didn’t pass by on the other side.

In between the services, we had a private reception with the eight families and all these care-givers. So many of the parents spoke words of appreciation during this time. I was especially struck by what one dad said: our eight families are bound together forever.

So, yes, I’m emotionally wrung out.

These people who stopped to hold Brody as he was dying and to care for the other seven as they were cold and frightened are a living witness to this old text:

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the one who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands
is not quickly broken.

“Into All the World”–but not for the Copes

Published
by
Mike
on February 15, 2005
in Highland, friends and the wreck
. 2 Comments

Really looking forward to having Brandon and Zoe at Highland this Sunday morning. There are some amazing things that will happen. More on that later. . . .

- - - -

Sunday night we bowed out.

Our covenant group has been planning for a long time to go together to Washington D.C. for a spring break mission trip. We’re part of Highland’s 2005 “Into All the World” ministry that is sending about 500 members all over the world for short-term missions.

But there are just too many issues with travel right now for Chris. If it were two months later, we’d be fine.

We’re so thankful that at least some of the group is still planning to go. As I told them, it felt like another casualty of the wreck if the whole trip fell through.

We reflected Sunday night — our first time back together since the wreck — on how unlikely it was that two of the three children who had to be flown to Cook’s were from our little group. We were so thankful to circle around them and pray.

Speaking of our covenant group kids, here’s a great article about Audrey Maxwell.

Closure?

Published
by
Mike
on February 12, 2005
in friends and the wreck
. 19 Comments

We’ve loved having James and Marla Walters, friends of ours from Boston, here for the weekend. While they went to ACU’s dinner theater last night, Diane, Chris, and I watched “The Man from Snowy River.” That’s a movie that just doesn’t get old. Any other Snowy River fans out there?

I’m looking forward to preaching tomorrow. But . . .

But life is still surreal. I keep hearing that we’ve had “closure” as a church to the wreck. I’m very thankful for that — but most of the families directly involved weren’t around for the closure. We were stuck in hospitals. And for these families, it just isn’t that easy, anyway. There are femurs and vertebrae and collar bones and thumbs in the slow process of healing. Plus, there is the lasting of trauma of receiving the news and wondering, “Did anyone survive?” There is the ongoing agony of knowing that one of the friends didn’t survive. There are the images of our children hanging upside down in a ditch as earth-time suspended.

And so, no, we haven’t experienced closure. We aren’t ready to go on. I have almost no interest in committee meetings, worship style, travel, lectureship, etc. The only place that makes sense to me right now is by my son’s side–helping him try to get relief from that darn back brace that has to be synched down tight over broken ribs.

Our little basketball team played at noon. We play again for the championship at 5:00. I never thought I’d find myself coaching next to my son in a wheelchair. Thanks for continued prayers, and thanks for the prayer requests that can be found in Thursday’s comments.

BlogPrayers@aol.com

Published
by
Mike
on February 10, 2005
in prayer and the wreck
. 31 Comments

Dear Friends -

Six months ago today, with the help of a couple people much younger, I dropped a clicker on this blog. Since then, it has received 127,688 “hits.” Thank you for visiting here some and for considering my rantings and ravings.

Twenty-five days ago I left a desperate message as I ran out the door to head to Cook’s Children’s Hospital in Ft. Worth. Right now, most of that evening is a fog. I remember, as in a dream, hearing about the wreck, finding out that Chris was in it, later hearing that one of the children had died, gathering with the other families in a waiting room at Hendrick, being called by our friend who is an ER doc, looking at my boy and not recognizing his face, whispering in his ear, hearing that the preliminary CT scan was better than expected (given the trauma to his face), learning that he would be flown to Children’s with one parent, and running home to pack a few things before Dickie and Becky drove me over there. It’s just a dream . . . or a nightmare. I’ve forgotten most details. But I remember a desperate sense that I didn’t have much prayer in me, so I stopped at my computer long enough to type out those few sentences.

Within hours, there were responses from six continents (hey, what’s with you people in Antarctica?) and from all over the States. Even now, I can’t come up with words to describe what those prayers mean to Diane, Matt, Jenna, Chris, and me — and to the other seven families.

Some have commented that a sort of cyber-community has developed through the months. There are limits to what such a “community” can do, of course. But there are some things we can do. And prayer is clearly one of them.

For the most part, I’ve been the recipient of your prayers. This morning I’m wondering — are there things we can pray for you? I’d like to invite you today to leave a note here if you’d like other readers to be praying for you.

If you just can’t get the comments button to work (or are a bit technologically challenged and can’t figure out how to get registered), I’ve created a temporary e-mail address, BlogPrayers@aol.com. If you’ll send your prayer request there, I’ll type it into the comments here.

May the love of God encompass you, my friends, as he continues forming you in the Way of Christ.

Single Parents

Published
by
Mike
on February 9, 2005
in Church, family and the wreck
. 17 Comments

We were fortunate that Diane was able to be a stay-at-home mom. She quit working at Memphis State on the day Matt was born (1982) and was able to remain at home with the kids until Chris entered first grade (1999). I know not every family makes this choice or is even able to make such a choice, but it was a blessing to us that she could be at home with our children.

Since she started teaching, we’ve had a few times when Chris was sick and we had to ask, “Okay, who’s staying home?” It’s always gone pretty smoothly. We’ve talked about whose schedule was more permissive on certain days, and we tried to alternate days.

But now Chris is out until at least Spring Break. So — who is the stay-at-home parent? Well, we’re trying to split some of the responsibilities, but Diane has generously taken a leave of absence from teaching until the break.

One thing that has struck us (again!) through all this is how amazing the women and men are who are in single-parent families. As we took turns sleeping during those ten days at Cook’s, and now as we split duties during the night to care for Chris, I’ve thought again about those amazing people who do this by themselves.

It makes me wonder all over again — how can we, as the people of God, be “family” to those single-parent families among us? How can we carry part of that load? How can we encourage? How can we pray — and then back our prayers up with action?

The Shaping of Things to Come

Published
by
Mike
on February 8, 2005
in Books, Church, missional and the wreck
. 21 Comments

Here’s the problem with getting rest these days: I keep picturing my little boy rolling around and around at 65 mph on I-20. Eventually, I know, this will stop.

- - - -

Wells and Fences

Today a quote from Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch’s THE SHAPING OF THINGS TO COME:

“A useful illustration is to think of the difference between wells and fences. In some farming communities, the farmers might build fences around their properties to keep their livestock in and the livestock of neighboring farms out. This is a bounded set. But in rural communities where farms or ranches cover an enormous geographic area, fencing the property is out of the question. In our home of Australia, ranches (called stations) are so vast that fences are superfluous. Under these conditions a farmer has to sink a bore and create a well, a precious water supply in the Outback. It is assumed that livestock, though they will stray, will never roam too far from the well, lest they die. This is a centered set. As long as there is a supply of clean water, the livestock will remain close by.

“Churches that see themselves as a centered set recognize that the gospel is so precious, so refreshing that, like a well in the Australian Outback, lovers of Christ will not stray too far from it. It is then a truly Christ-centered model. Rather than seeing people as Christian or non-Christian, as in or out, we would see people by their degree of distance from the center, Christ. In this way, the missional-incarnational church sees people as Christian and not-yet-Christian. It acknowledges the contribution of not-yet-Christians to Christian community and values the contribution of all people. Jesus’ faith community was clearly a centered set, with him at the center. . . . There was a rich intersection of relationships with some nearer the center and others further away, but all invited to join in the kingdom-building enterprise. If the modern church followed this biblical model, the church would be more concerned with relationships than with numbers.”

I’m just starting this book, but so far it’s incredible. Could those of you who’ve read it tell us a little more?

Love/Hate Relationship With Traveling

Published
by
Mike
on February 4, 2005
in family, grief, the wreck and travel
. 5 Comments

It’s been a blessing of my ministry that I’ve had so many kind offers through the years to travel to speak. But it’s something I’ve fought, too. Everything sounds wonderful, but I can’t live on the road–not with a family at home. I know there have been times that I’ve disappointed people, but that’s better than disappointing Diane or the kids.

At times I wonder, Isn’t it funny at all the plane tickets that are purchased to take one minister from point A to point B, and another minister from B to C, and still another from C to A. Have you ever wondered what it might be like if we just quit doing that and used the money to help support missions or to feed and house the poor?

Traveling is enticing. It’s the easy stuff, really. You get to talk to people whom you don’t have to live in relationship with. And they aren’t people who listen to you all the time so they tend to be more affirming. (No complaints here–it’s just human nature to take people around you for granted. Unfortunately, I do this, too.)

But there are some times I’ve been VERY thankful for all the kind invitations I’ve turned down. Like when Megan died . . . and when Matt graduated . . . and when we celebrated our 25th anniversary (5/03) . . . and on the morning of 1/17 when we were waiting to see if Chris would wake up and respond to people. At all of those times (and many others!), I’ve been very thankful that for every invitation I accepted I turned many others down.

Really, I shouldn’t sound so darn heroic. I love being home. I love being with Diane, with Chris (and formerly with Matt and Megan), with my friends, with my church. I’m fortunate that I’ve had sane people around me–including my assistant, Gina–to help me remember that joy.

- - - -

Winterfest. To be honest, Chris really didn’t want to go. He didn’t know anything about it. And neither did I for that matter. I’ve never been. But I’ve heard good things about it. And the best part would be a weekend to bond with the youth group from Highland–especially in Chris’s first year in the group (6th grade).

It’s been one of a hundred things I’ve rolled around in my mind. “Why did I tell him we wanted him to go?” Also, why did he have to be in that car? Why on a clear, uncrowded day on I-20? (Even as a constant worrier, I didn’t think anything about it because it’s such a straight shot from the Metroplex to Abilene . . . good weather . . . ten cars traveling together.)

But, you know what? It does no good to second guess. There’s no point in asking why I insisted that he go. He went. What happened happened.

Isn’t that true of much of life? Second-guessing is such a popular game. But at the end of the day, you have to deal with life as it has unfolded.

We had a fairly good report yesterday. We waiting a long time to see the neurosurgeon, but weren’t even close to getting in. If we stayed longer, we would have missed the main appointment (with the BONE GUY), so we said, “Sorry, but we’ve come from Abilene and we can’t miss this other appointment.”

We really like the orthopedic surgeon. He took some more x-rays and gave another good long-term report. But what we found out is that what HE meant by short-term and what Chris and I were thinking he meant by short-term were two different things.

Translation: no baseball this year. I know, I know: it could have been so much worse. But to a kid who loves to pitch, this was not good news.

We came right back to reality, of course, when we stopped by the Bourlands on the way home just to hug their necks. These are incredibly sweet people right down in the gutter of grief. We know the feeling all too well.

Thursday, February 3

Published
by
Mike
on February 3, 2005
in General and the wreck
. 30 Comments

Please pray for us today as we return to Cook’s to see the pediatric neurosurgeon and the pediatric orthopedic surgeon. I have a great digital photo from last night I’d like to post, but I forgot to ask everyone’s permission. It’s a picture of the six children who survived the rollover. With three wheelchairs (Jon Weston, Amara, and Chris C.), it was a bit hard to squeeze them together, but they managed. Thanks for your prayers for our group as we got together for the first time. So many of our thoughts were about our dear friend Julie (the driver), who is still hospitalized in Lubbock and about the Bourlands.

- - - -

Time magazine has released their list of “The 25 Most Influential Evangelicals”: Rick Warren, Howard and Roberta Ahmanson, Diane Knippers, James Dobson, Michael Gerson, Richard John Neuhaus, T. D. Jakes, Billy and Franklin Graham, Joyce Meyer, Rick Santorum, Luis Cortes, Tim and Beverly LaHaye, Charles Colson, Douglas Coe, J. I Packer, David Barton, Mark Noll, Ralph Winter, Richard Land, Stephen Strang, Ted Haggard, Stuart Epperson, Bill Hybels, Brian McLaren, and Jay Sekulow.

A few comments.

First, does anyone else count more than 25? I guess you only count for 1/2 if you’re part of a husband/wife or father/son team. (But shouldn’t Billy Graham count for 5?!)

Second, did anyone else have to say a time or two, “Who in the world is that?”

Third, thankfully some of the familiar lunatics were left off.

And finally, how can such a list not include Jimmy Carter, Jim Wallis, and Tony Campolo? But then it’s Time’s list and not mine. Who else might you have included?

The Sermon on Women

Published
by
Mike
on February 2, 2005
in Church, scripture and the wreck
. 13 Comments

Sermon on Ministry of Women

At a time that now seems long, long ago and far, far away, I preached a LENGTHY sermon at Highland on the ministry and gifts of women. The elders asked me to take an extended period in one Sunday in the middle of January to walk through our study of scripture that led to our current place in this journey. There are so many new members and students who weren’t around for the long congregational study.

There was an amazing moment that Sunday, as I now faintly remember. After my message (about an hour long, including my words of pastoral encouragement at the end), the elders spontaneously came up, affirmed the message, and prayed.

Not all readers of this blog will agree with what I said. But if you’re interested, you can order the CD from Highland. Our website is still under construction (COME BACK, KEITH BRENTON!), so it might be best to call (325-673-5295) or write (425 S. Highland, Abilene, 79605).

(A note that is probably important only to me: I don’t make anything off the sales of these CDs! I think the church sells them at cost.)

- - - -

Monday morning I heard words that made me panic.

It was the beginning of week three. Chris had gotten up early, and he and I had just finished his little physical therapy routine. He said, “I’m going to take a nap. But will someone wake me up at 10:00? That’s when ‘The Price Is Right’ is on.”

Yikes! Words I never wanted to hear from my twelve year old. A few minutes later I was off to Lincoln Middle School to retrieve homework assignments from teachers. It seemed to me that the time had come to get back into the school books.

- - - -

Tonight I believe the six children who survived the wreck are getting together for the first time at our house. Please pray that it will be a time of healing for Amara, Beth, Austin, Jon Weston, Chris P., and Chris C.

The Danger of Parenting

Published
by
Mike
on February 1, 2005
in family and the wreck
. 20 Comments

To become a parent is to become vulnerable.

Vulnerable to colds and to diseases and to “nobody likes me” and to broken bones and to decisions and to decisions of young friends and to automobiles. It means praying until you’re all prayed out. It means waiting to hear the front door open in the early days of driving. It means waiting for the phone call saying “we made it.” It means hoping for all you’re worth that faith — deep, give-it-all-up-to-follow-him faith — catches on.

Deep love means vulnerability. It’s part of the deal.

God knows that, doesn’t he?

- - - -

As Yogi Berra would say, we’ve experienced deja vu all over again. So much has happened that’s taken us back to our Megan days: the treatment at Hendrick’s emergency room, the medical flight to Ft. Worth, the intubation, the extended stay at Cook’s.

And now, once again, we’re back under the AISD special education program. I always thought of that as a euphemism for helping people like Megan who are mentally handicapped. But I’m finding out it is over all SPECIAL education. And since Chris is going to be out for quite a while, apparently, he qualifies for the homebound program. AISD will send a teacher to our home.

- - - -

We’ve been really blessed this week to have Diane’s sister from Tennessee, Donna Jo Meeks, and her daughter, Hannah (13), here. Donna has been our gourmet cook, our traffic cop with the phone, and a calming voice. Hannah has been Chris’s buddy–especially on those days when everyone from here has to go to school. After a day of playing games, last night they watched “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” for the first time. Doesn’t everyone remember where they were when they saw it for the first time? (I do — because it was such a great film. Diane does — because of Robert Redford.)

Another highlight in the last couple days was when Scott and Chris Perkins brought over a tape of our basketball game from Saturday. I went to the game to help Scott coach, but it was hard without Chris C. out there. Hopefully, he’ll be able to attend the rest of our games in his wheelchair. (Again, it’s up to the pediatric BONE GUY on Thursday.)

Yesterday was shower day, which is a major event when you’re dealing with a back brace. We’ve been blessed once again by the loving care of one of our elders, Rex Nutt, who has often been recognized as one of the best physical therapists in Texas. It gives us a lot of assurance to have him here when the brace comes off.

- - - -

Soon I’ll quit blogging about this all the time. I’ll get back to the other stuff I’m passionate about–like community, discipleship, parenting, and guacamole. Thanks for listening and for praying, my friends. Especially keep praying for the Bourland family as they continue on the long journey of grief for their precious son.