Archive for the 'friends' Category

Lewis on Friendship

Published
by
Mike
on November 2, 2005
in Books and friends
. 35 Comments

A couple more pieces from C. S. Lewis about conversion and friendship:

“I gave up Christianity at about fourteen. Came back to it when getting on for thirty. An almost purely philosophical conversion. I didn’t want to. I’m not the religious type. I want to be let alone, to feel I’m my own master: but since the facts seemed to be the opposite I had to give in. My happiest hours are spent with three or four old friends in old clothes tramping together and putting up in small pubs–or else sitting up till the small hours in someone’s college rooms talking nonsense, poetry, theology, metaphysics over beer, tea, or pipes. There’s no sound I like better than adult male laughter.”

“You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him Whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.”

Thanks so much for those wonderful memories of Narnia in yesterday’s comments.

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And while we’re thinking about books for children, I miss having one small enough to read Dr. Seuss to. Our all time fav? Go, Dog, Go.

Halloween Tradition

Published
by
Mike
on November 1, 2005
in family and friends
. 28 Comments

Halloween was a blast last night, with my three little nieces and their parents joining us for the traditional Halloween night spaghetti. This tradition goes back to Searcy days when Matt and his cousin Kari would trick-or-treat together, along with Megan (dressed in her little pumpkin costume). Apparently a couple years we had spaghetti. It wasn’t intentional; it was just fast. Then the next year, we were starting to prepare something else, and Matt said, “Where’s the spaghetti? We ALWAYS have spaghetti on Halloween?”

Can you hear Tevye in the background? “TRADITION!”

My favorite trick-or-treaters last night were seven high school students who were a punk band — guitars, singing, wild outfits, and all. They were having a blast together. I just put the bucket in the middle of them and said, “For that performance you can have all you want.”

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A little audience participation today. Anyone out there have a story involving the “Chronicles of Narnia” — maybe about being read them by your parents, or enjoying them as a teen, or reading them to your kids?

(Has it come to this? A preacher looking for stories from his blog? I’ll try not to make a habit of it.)

As a little C. S. Lewis bonus, here are words from The Four Loves:

“Those who cannot conceive Friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a friend. . . . In some ways nothing is less like a Friendship than a love-affair. Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest.”

Saturday, October 29

Published
by
Mike
on October 29, 2005
in General and friends
. 10 Comments

Just seeing a few of my preaching buddies in Ft. Worth reminds me how lucky I am that through the years I’ve had lots of friends in ministry. I’ve heard older guys talking about not having many friends who were fellow preachers because everyone was so competitive. (That’s probably not everyone’s experience.) But I’ve been lucky to experience just the opposite: lots of guys who were watching each other’s backs and supporting their ministries in every possible way. I’m thankful for the Abilene guys: Eddie, Dwight, Ris, Phil, Chris, Don, and Terry — just to name some. And also for Rubel, Rick, Milt, Larry S., Jeff, Larry J., Buddy, Don and so many others. What a blessing it’s been in my life!

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After spending the morning at the soccer field, I remember how much I love about youth sports . . . and what I don’t love. Hearing a coach yell at a player on the opposing team “Quit your crying and get up off the ground” (just before our player had to be helped off the field) makes me so sad. Take away about 10% of the parents and about 5% of the coaches, and little league sports would be amazing!

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Enjoy the extra hour of sleep tonight.

Who Would Hide Me?

Published
by
Mike
on October 15, 2005
in friends
. 10 Comments

Here’s a fourth piece I’ve written for the Christian Standard this year–this one on the importance of friendship. (Actually they let me adapt a piece I’d written not long ago as an editorial in Wineskins.)

I’ve been trying to practice what I preach the past couple days. I’ve been with three buddies up in Vermont hanging out. It’s a trip I’ve made every year for a long time to be with these guys. One’s from Arkansas, one’s from Vermont, and one divides his time between Vermont and Boston (where he is a prof).

This year there wasn’t much hiking because it’s been raining in the NE for 40 days and 40 nights, or something like that. But with the Angels and the Cardinals in the playoffs and with plenty of good food, we did just fine.

Friendship

Published
by
Mike
on August 10, 2005
in friends
. 11 Comments

A good friend of 14 years leaves town this week, moving to College Station. We’ve been through so much together: the births of our youngest kids, Megan’s death, his divorce. And then we stood vigil side-by-side in pedi-ICU at Cook’s, praying that our sons would be all right after the wreck. We’ve had hundreds of meals and thousands of laughs–along with not-a-few bad times, as well.

It’s the nature of life in Abilene and probably everywhere. You don’t lose the friends, exactly; but they’re not right there.

Still, as I think of those who’ve left, I’m thankful for e-mail, phone calls, and visits to Abilene buddies who’ve moved to Malibu, Baton Rouge, Arkansas, Dallas, Houston, North Carolina, Seattle, and many other places.

It must be how our closest friends in Searcy felt when we left. Only with a couple of those families have we maintained really close connections, though we still feel great love for many others.

It is the nature of our mobile society, isn’t it? Children marry and move. Friends lose jobs, change jobs, remarry, or pursue further education.

“Make new friends but keep the others.” How true.

Thanking the Good Samaritans

Published
by
Mike
on February 21, 2005
in Highland, friends and the wreck
. 20 Comments

Still this morning I’m emotionally exhausted.

Yesterday I preached on Eccl. 4:7-12 and the importance of community. “Two are better than one.”

At the end, I talked about how clearly that truth had been taught in the past five weeks to the eight families who were directly involved in the wreck. We learned of the vital importance of community from so many people.

First, there were the seven Highland boys in the following vehicle who were told by the driver (as he got out to go help) to stay in the car. They began praying immediately for their friends. They prayed when we (the parents) didn’t know to pray.

There were also the many people all over the world (check out the comments on my January 16 blog) who carried us in prayer and encouragement. When we were frozen by fear and could hardly pray, others offered those prayers.

I invited the eight families down. It was an emotional sight to see everyone up there–two in wheelchairs and one on crutches, Brody’s parents and brothers, and all the rest of us.

Then four from the group–two children and two parents–offered testimonies about what they’d learned about friendship and community.

Here is what Diane said:

“When I first heard the news that my child was in a serious car accident, I could hardly bare the fact that he was somewhere alone, hurt, and afraid and I wasn’t there. Then a couple of days later I heard news about those who helped our children. I can’t begin to tell you how comforting that was for me.

“In this world where people are afraid to get involved, our children were surrounded by warm, caring adults. As a mother, I am especially thankful for the women who were whispering into our children’s ears with their calm, soothing voices. I’m thankful that they took our place in the dirt, since we couldn’t be there. And I’m grateful that they held our children’s hands and provided their mothering touch.

“On that cold Sunday afternoon in January, these women and men became community in a way I’ll never forget.”

After her words, we invited down many of those who had stopped to help our children and Julie as they lay injured that afternoon. We had invited all we knew of — many of whom our families had been in contact with by phone to thank and to learn more. And yesterday these “Good Samaritans” came to Highland from New Mexico, Monahans, Midland, Lubbock, and Abilene. Can you imagine what it was like for us to see them in person for the first time? Diane and I got to be with the woman who sat by Chris’s side the whole time to calm him, keep him warm, pray for him, and try to keep him awake. When we weren’t there, she became a mother to him.

Then we invited down all the emergency response people who were able to come. We had 13 or 14 able to come from Citizens EMS, Southwest Helicopter, Eula Fire Department, the Callahan County Sheriff’s Department, and a Callahan County judge.

Once they were all down, the church broke into long standing ovations at both services. Then as the elders and wives gathered around all of us, Dickie Porche thanked God that these people didn’t pass by on the other side.

In between the services, we had a private reception with the eight families and all these care-givers. So many of the parents spoke words of appreciation during this time. I was especially struck by what one dad said: our eight families are bound together forever.

So, yes, I’m emotionally wrung out.

These people who stopped to hold Brody as he was dying and to care for the other seven as they were cold and frightened are a living witness to this old text:

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the one who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together,
they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands
is not quickly broken.

“Into All the World”–but not for the Copes

Published
by
Mike
on February 15, 2005
in Highland, friends and the wreck
. 2 Comments

Really looking forward to having Brandon and Zoe at Highland this Sunday morning. There are some amazing things that will happen. More on that later. . . .

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Sunday night we bowed out.

Our covenant group has been planning for a long time to go together to Washington D.C. for a spring break mission trip. We’re part of Highland’s 2005 “Into All the World” ministry that is sending about 500 members all over the world for short-term missions.

But there are just too many issues with travel right now for Chris. If it were two months later, we’d be fine.

We’re so thankful that at least some of the group is still planning to go. As I told them, it felt like another casualty of the wreck if the whole trip fell through.

We reflected Sunday night — our first time back together since the wreck — on how unlikely it was that two of the three children who had to be flown to Cook’s were from our little group. We were so thankful to circle around them and pray.

Speaking of our covenant group kids, here’s a great article about Audrey Maxwell.

Closure?

Published
by
Mike
on February 12, 2005
in friends and the wreck
. 19 Comments

We’ve loved having James and Marla Walters, friends of ours from Boston, here for the weekend. While they went to ACU’s dinner theater last night, Diane, Chris, and I watched “The Man from Snowy River.” That’s a movie that just doesn’t get old. Any other Snowy River fans out there?

I’m looking forward to preaching tomorrow. But . . .

But life is still surreal. I keep hearing that we’ve had “closure” as a church to the wreck. I’m very thankful for that — but most of the families directly involved weren’t around for the closure. We were stuck in hospitals. And for these families, it just isn’t that easy, anyway. There are femurs and vertebrae and collar bones and thumbs in the slow process of healing. Plus, there is the lasting of trauma of receiving the news and wondering, “Did anyone survive?” There is the ongoing agony of knowing that one of the friends didn’t survive. There are the images of our children hanging upside down in a ditch as earth-time suspended.

And so, no, we haven’t experienced closure. We aren’t ready to go on. I have almost no interest in committee meetings, worship style, travel, lectureship, etc. The only place that makes sense to me right now is by my son’s side–helping him try to get relief from that darn back brace that has to be synched down tight over broken ribs.

Our little basketball team played at noon. We play again for the championship at 5:00. I never thought I’d find myself coaching next to my son in a wheelchair. Thanks for continued prayers, and thanks for the prayer requests that can be found in Thursday’s comments.

Intubation by Community

Published
by
Mike
on January 24, 2005
in Church, friends and the wreck
. 15 Comments

The slow process of rehab continues for us at Cook’s. This is now eight days after the wreck.

Just as Chris was intubated for about 30 hours to help his lungs begin to heal, so we have all been intubated by the community of faith. People have breathed for us when we couldn’t breathe. They have prayed for us when we were too tired to pray.

Yesterday Chris got to talk by phone to the only other child still in the hospital in Abilene. That was very comforting to him.

Los Tres Amigos

Published
by
Mike
on January 23, 2005
in family, friends, music, prayer and the wreck
. 8 Comments

Yesterday morning two of Los Tres Amigos got to go home. Hurrah! We watched Jon Weston and (a few minutes later) Austin leave their rooms to head back to Abilene. It was kind of a lonely feeling for Chris, but he was glad his friends were doing that well.

And we had a good day, too. From the outside it would probably seem like baby steps. But from the inside it was gigantic leaps. Chris is now doing some simple exercises and is able to get into a wheelchair for brief periods. He had a couple buddies come up yesterday (plus his two very attentive female cousins who are hovering around him when he’s up to it) and they watched ballgames together.

Today he has his brother and sister-in-law to watch NFL playoff games with.

There was a moment late last night when just the five of us were in the room and prayed that I thought, “Life might one day be ‘normal’ again.”

During one of those early dark nights when we were waiting on word about head and lungs, I kept searching in my Ipod for something that would comfort. It came down to one thing: Zoe music. Probably because I could hear the familiar voices and know that those very people were praying for us. The two songs that ministered the most to me were “Come, Ye Sinners” (I know the words “bruised and broken by the fall” are referring to sin . . . but for the moment that spoke to our situation) and “Be Still My Soul.”

Last night and this morning I was supposed to have been speaking at a Zoe Conference in Fresno. I know it’s going well.

Well, that’s the report from Cook’s Children’s Hospital this morning. I think my mom and I are going to slip away to early service at Richland Hills. There are so many places I’d like to go this morning: to Burleson to say thanks for all the food; to Grapevine to say thanks for the banner signed by middle schoolers; to . . . . You understand.

Thank you all so very much for your prayers. We had one note sent up by someone saying that she is a member of this blog community though we’ve never met. She just wanted us to know she’s thinking about us, praying for us, and would do anything to help if we’d call her.

Are there words in the English language to say what that means to a family in crisis?