Archive for the 'family' Category

Leaky Knowledge and Homework

My younger son is in eighth grade. This is about the last year that I can help with math homework.

What happened to all that algebra, geometry, and trigonometry that I studied? Did it leak out? Where does all the leaked-out knowledge of parents go?

Why does so much worthless stuff “stick” (lyrics to “The Beverly Hillbillies” and lines from “City Slickers,” e.g.) while so much important stuff “leaks”?

- - - -

Brilliant ESPN commercials playing off of college rivalries. My favorite, of course, is where the A&M fan is playing charades. He figures out that there are three words. The first word is “hook” and the third word is “horns.” But he goes silent. He’d rather lose than utter the words “Hook ‘em Horns.”

By some accounts, those were the first words I spoke. As a campus baby while my parents were attending UT, I became indoctrinated in “Hook-em-Horns” philosophy. That’s why Vince Young made January, 2006 such a special month!

- - - -

You haven’t shopped online until you’ve shopped at “728b: The Ultimate Church of Christ Shopping Place.” Maybe we could all show up at the afternoon class at Pepperdine in one of those t-shirts!

Peanut Brittle Day . . . and An Evangelical’s Lament

From my mom’s newspaper column:

Today was peanut brittle-making day at this household. It’s a tradition.

Every year the Runner says, “Well, I guess I’ll make peanut brittle today.” I make a flying trip to the store for all that stuff that is not normally in our cabinets – raw peanuts, corn syrup, coconut (for the one batch with coconut added), margarine (well, I usually have that but not always). Years ago his mother showed him how to make this Christmas treat and I don’t believe in all the years he’s been doing it he has ever had a failure at it.

First, we get out every pan in the kitchen, including all the mixing bowls, measuring cups and measuring spoons.

I used to stay around to offer advice. This is not, you may realize by now, my project. I’d say, “You better get that off of there. It’s going to burn.” “It’s not going to burn,” he’d reply. And it never did.

Or – “The peanuts aren’t done yet.” He’d reply, “They’re done.” And they were.

Who am I to know? I have never made a batch in my life. But I am an aficionado and his greatest fan. He has realized through the years that not only do I not make peanut brittle – I do not clean up the kitchen. That would include – every pan, bowl, measuring spoon and cup in the kitchen, the stove, the sink and the floor. It is a very messy job.

Now, after only 51 years, he has become self-sufficient and cleans it himself. So, this morning, getting back from my second run to the grocery store. (I only got enough corn syrup for four batches and he decided to make five) I asked, “Did you remember this is the ‘off’ year? No one is coming for Christmas. We cannot eat 10 pounds of peanut brittle.”

“If I make it, they will come,” he replied.

And so, he began, cooking the first part of water, syrup and sugar until the hard ball stage, measuring out all the ingredients while it cooked. Then he would add the peanuts and cook them – each batch – to perfection. Quickly he would pour in the margarine, the vanilla and the baking soda, stirring carefully so it wouldn’t spill over – a very big potential mess, as
you might guess. Then into the greased cookie pans.

Each batch was wonderful. I did manage to arrive just in time to give my opinion each time by sampling the brittle. Soon we had pans of the hardened candy all over the kitchen.

Then it was time to get out all the Tupperware bowls we own and begin to fill them, cleaning up each little crumb along the way – by eating it, of course.

Then the first ones came. Two granddaughters arrived. One gave her approval. The other declined to try. She only likes pecan brittle, which is usually the last batch made. He omitted that, bowing to our small crowd this year. (He certainly had plenty of corn syrup, as I made sure on the second run to the grocery store that we didn’t run out. I’ll be making pecan pies all year. I don’t know what else to do with it.)

By the time we put it away, we only had two (very large) covered bowls full. We had certainly done our part to make sure it wasn’t wasted. Even the dog enjoyed it.

In the next few days I’ll package some up to send to the ones who didn’t come. I certainly hope he made enough!

Cheers – for the Runner and his ability to make this wonderful Christmas candy.

Jeers – for my inability to add any wonderful sweet thing to the snack table. I do make a mean crab dip. Nice start for a Christmas Eve repast! (He is sending us two – we’re going to be great-grandparents in 2007!)

- - - -

Someone needed to say it.

And Randall Balmer, a feature writer for Christianity Today, did — in Thy Kingdom Come: An Evangelical’s Lament.

You won’t agree with everything. (Nor did I. It seems to me that there is much more diversity within Evangelicalism than it sometimes sounds in this book. Think, e.g., about the work of many young Evangelicals for Darfur!) But it is a compelling argument about something that has gone very wrong with much of the Evangelical movement in America.

Here’s a taste from the chapter: “Where Have All the Baptists Gone? Roy’s Rock, Roger Williams, and the First Amendment.”

Some of the things I learned from the radio while traveling the two hundred miles from George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston to Longview, Texas:

- The intellectual and scientific case for evolution is crumbling.
- Global warming is a myth.
- The flat income tax is a superb idea.
- “Satan wants the United States to be kind to pluralism.”
- The reason we swear an oath on the Bible is because the Bible was the sole foundation of American law.
- The world has an unlimited supply of oil.
- The Constitution provides no guarantee of personal privacy.
- Government fuel-efficiency standards kill people.
- Satan dominates the secular media.

My visit to East Texas came at a strange time. A day earlier, Pat Robertson had issued his fatwa against the president of Venezuela, and I was certain, given their hysteria over terrorism, that my friends on the Religious Right would join me in calling for Robertson’s detention and interrogation on suspicion of making a terrorist threat. (The televangelist is no stranger to making death threats, of course, though in the past he has generally targeted Supreme Court justices, not foreign heads of state.) . . .

But Robertson’s statement elicited nary a comment from what passes for Christian radio in East Texas, although one pundit allowed that the televangelist might try to convert the Venezuelan president before calling for his assassination.

I learned something else in the course of my travels through the triple-digit heat of a Texas summer: There seems to be at least some truth in the oft-quoted statement of Bill Moyers (the pride of Marshall, Texas) that in East Texas there are more Baptists than there are people. I passed First Baptist Church and Second Baptist Church, Long Range Baptist Church, Faith Family Baptist Church, Charity Baptist Church, Timpson Missionary Baptist Church, Appleby Baptist Church, Holly Springs Baptist Church, First Freewill Baptist Church, Zion Hill Baptist Church, Friendship Baptist Church, Friendship Bobo Baptist Church, Heritage Baptist Church, Pleasant Hill Baptist Church, Pleasant Valley Baptist Church, and Grace Baptist Church, which, according to a large sign, featured “Old Fashion Preaching” — to name only a few.

Given all of these churches, given all of these angry voices defending the faith on my car radio, imagine my surprise that evening when I attended a huge Religious Right rally at the Maude Cobb Convention and Activity Center in Longview and learned that, despite all appearances to the contrary, East Texas is actually in the grip of Satan.

The endorsements are as diverse as Rick Warren and Tony Campolo (though actually, I don’t think this is diverse as I would have five years ago). Campolo says: “Randall Balmer knows Evangelicalism inside and out. He writes with the ambivalence of a jilted lover who still cares very much about the movement but who is broken-hearted . . . .”

How Our Kids Can Change Us

I saw the video clip this morning from a courtroom where a 50-year-old father attacked the man who broke into the home where his daughter and grandchild were sleeping. The father had listened to the 911 tape where his daughter, having heard a window break through the babysitter machine, called for help — the desperation, then the screams as the man entered her bedroom with a large knife, then the struggle just as police broke in to save her. It was more than the dad could take.

There’s no way to justify his action in court.

However, if anyone takes up a collection to pay for his disruption of court costs, I’d like to contribute.

It reminds me of the old saying: “A neoconservative is a liberal with a teenage daughter.” (The mirror saying is that “a neoliberal is a conservative with a son who’s gay.”)

Our instincts to protect and love our children have a way of changing us, don’t they? I remember a well-known minister/teacher who held a hardline on divorce and remarriage until his own children went through that traumatic experience. His views changed.

This could, of course, be bad: it could just be our attempts to justify our behaviors. On the other hand, I believe sometimes it takes family trauma for us to get in touch with the basic compassion and hope of the gospel.

Most Children Are Not Paragons

From Garrison Keillor:

“I love reading Christmas newsletters in which the writer bursts the bonds of modesty and comes forth with one gilt-edged paragraph after another: ‘Tara was top scorer on the Lady Cougars soccer team and won the lead role in the college production of Antigone, which by the way they are performing in the original Greek. Her essay on chaos theory as an investment strategy will be in the next issue of Fortune magazine, the same week she’ll appear as a model in Vogue. How she does what she does and still makes Phi Beta Kappa is a wonderment to us all. And, yes, she is still volunteering at the homeless shelter.’ . . .

“This is rough on us whose children are not paragons. Most chlidren aren’t. A great many teenage children go through periods when they loathe you and go around slamming doors and playing pschotic music and saying things like ‘I wish I had never been born,’ which is a red-hot needle stuck under your fingernail. One must be very selective, writing about them for the annual newsletter: ‘Sean is becoming very much his own person and is unafraid to express himself. He is a lively presence in our family and his love of music is a thing to behold.’

“I come from Minnesota, where it’s considered shameful to be shameless, where modesty is always in fashion, where self-promotion is looked at askance. Give us a gold trophy and we will have it bronzed so you won’t think that we think we’re special. There are no Donald Trumps in Minnesota: We strangled them all in their cribs. A football player who likes to do his special dance after scoring a touchdown is something of a freak.”

Baptism Pictures

Chris 1

Chris 1

A Night We’ll Always Remember

The last words I heard last night before falling asleep were these: “Dad, I want you to put my baptism on my ipod.”

July 25, 1996 and December 10, 2006 are days Diane and I will always remember. Those are the days we baptized our boys. Both were about fourteen-and-a-half when we baptized them.

Chris had planned last night carefully. After Steven Curtis Chapman’s song “Dive,” the DVD clip “I Believe” (Igniter #3), a scripture reading (Colossians 3:12-17), and a prayer, three letters were read to him (this part he didn’t know about): one from Josh Ross, one from Jenna, and one from Matt. They were the kind of letters that bless you all the way to your bones.

Then Diane spoke wonderful words to him, encouraging him to trust in the Lord with all his heart, leaning not on his own understanding (Prov. 3).

I told him that his journey of faith has been more like the opening of a flower than the sting of a bee. Many conversions are like the sting: they happen suddenly and you know exactly when. Most of the passages about conversion in the New Testament echo that language because people were turning from darkness to light, from paganism to Christianity. But that language doesn’t entirely fit his experience. He has been a person a faith from the very beginning. We’d seen his character forged in the midst of challenges: his sister died when he was two, he almost died in a wreck a decade later; he lost a first cousin, and then he lost a friend (in the accident). God has been forming him into a person of incredible kindness and compassion toward all people.

So for Chris, the darkness-to-light language doesn’t really fit. He’s been on a journey — a journey for which baptism is an important marker. It is a stake in the ground for him to declare, “This isn’t just my mother’s faith . . . or my father’s faith . . . or my brother’s faith. This is what I believe.” It is an acceptance of the challenge of Colossians 3:17: that whatever he does in word or deed, he’s to do it all in the name of the Lord. It is a public acceptance and welcoming of the mission of Christ.

Then we baptized him in front of some of the important people in his life. (I’ll add a picture later.) Some of those there are on his basketball team at Lincoln. Some are friends he’s known since they were in the nursery together at Highland. Others are people who’ve been teachers, coaches, almost-parents, covenant group members, etc.

So last night he told me he wants it on his ipod. He wants me to rip the DVD onto my Powerbook and then put it on his iPod. (Yes, he has the nicest one in the family — a video iPod. There really isn’t much video on there. Highlights of Texas’s national championship. A few other things. Now his baptism.)

After the baptism, we went to the gym for pizza, soda, cookies, and balls flying everywhere.

That’s a night to remember.

- - - -

This from my friend, Mark Moore:

I’m about to help you out here with an amazing idea for your Christmas shopping. You know that nagging problem of what to get for the person who has everything? Well, this should solve that one. I bet they don’t have their very own tree in Uganda. Click on the link below and you can buy one, get a cool Christmas card you can plant (yes, a card you can plant when you are done) and it will grow flowers (no kidding) and you get an ornament that will have a number on it marking the GPS coordinates of your tree in Uganda. (Better click on the link below if you want it to make sense.) The Kibo Group is a non-profit that I run along with a friend named Clint Davis. You can read about Kibo at our website www.kibogroup.org. We make no money off this, (Kibo has no salaries for stateside employees)…the money goes to plant trees. Check it out… its a pretty unique gift idea and it really can make the world better.
Merry Christmas!

Does Every Moment Have to Be Productive?

In moments of quiet honesty, I sometimes realize how difficult it is for me to spend time that doesn’t feel productive. That is a serious defect.

At times there have been authors who’ve helped me — Gordon MacDonald, Eugene Peterson, and (often) Henri Nouwen — but this morning it wasn’t an author. I was stretching very early this morning after working out, and I was listening to Chris Rice’s “The Untitled Hymn.”

Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
And live.

Why is it so hard just to rest — just to enjoy the presence of Christ? Productivity is so deeply engrained in me that even “rest time” often seems like a perfect time to produce.

- - - -

From my favorite columnist in the Abilene Reporter-News, Garrison Keillor:

“The little girl singing in the next room is blissfully happy at this moment, but the life of a little girl is very dramatic — it revolves around (1) jumping up and down and squealing, (2) collapsing in tears, (3) collapsing in laughter, (4) rapt adoration, and (5) hopeless frustration. Sometimes in rapid succession.

“So it is with Christmas. You can go straight from pure bliss to desperate remorse in less than a minute. There are dead friends that one does not ever quite forget, and there is the great wound of divorce which, even though 30 years in the past, can come open and bleed and almost break your heart. You walk to church and she’s waiting for you in the shadows, asking, ‘Why did you do that?’

“Christmas is an artistic performance, and art, by and large, is not made by contented people. It is made by wounded recluses, freaks, the absurdly self-conscious, the haunted and guilty, the humiliated, the outcasts, and we create this, first and foremost, for our children. To rise up out of confusion and dismay, with ghosts whispering to us, and bake cookies and light a candle and sing ‘Silent Night’ — I can do that for my child, and if your children want to join us, they are most welcome.”

- - - -

I’ve added a temporary link in the right column to the Classics video. Thanks for your comments yesterday. Of course, any singer can look good when he has Randy Harris on rhythm and back-up vocals. (Funny note: someone pointed out to me that it got a “YouTube” honor for being one of the most watched entertainment videos yesterday — ranking right next to a clip of Paris Hilton. Does that go on a resume?)

Today Jantsen Barrett Cope would have been 23. I wish you could have known him. My life is richer for having known him, yet sadder for not seeing him turn 23.

Here are the five of us (well, six of us, really) from my brother’s house in Missouri:

And here are the eighteen of us:

Here is Chris taking a swing at a curveball from his seven-year-old cousin, Van:

And I love this shot of Diane and Jenna. Just like her mother-in-law, Jenna looks beautiful pregnant. (I’m talking about her mother-in-law many years ago . . . not now. Still beautiful. But not pregnant.)

For 28 years now Diane and I have alternated Christmases between Missouri and Ohio. The only exception was the year Megan died. It was an Ohio year (always an even-numbered year), and Diane’s family all came to Abilene, knowing it would be hard for us to break away.

I hope you had a refreshing time with your family or with others whom you love.

Tomorrow I plan to review the book The Color of Law.

Back in MO

Something comes alive inside when I’m here in the Ozarks. The towering oaks, the cliffs, the hills, the lush grass, the ponds and streams.

What’s continually surprising is how Wal-Mart is changing this part of the world. With prices much higher in NW Arkansas, the dramatic growth is now heading north into McDonald County, Missouri. Tiny little towns where I sold newspaper subscriptions as a boy are now booming with people working in Arkansas and living in Missouri. I’ve heard that Jane, Missouri is projected to be the fifth largest city in Missouri in another decade. (Bet you’ve never heard of Jane, MO.)

It isn’t just Wal-Mart people locating here at the world’s largest retailer’s headquarters. It’s all the other companies that have offices full of people who can work constantly with Wal-Mart. (Someone estimated that Proctor and Gamble alone may have hundreds in their office here just to work closely with Wal-Mart.)

I’m sure lots of people who come must think they’ve fallen off the earth into some redneck decade of the past. When you land at the NW Arkansas airport (xna), if you look out the window you realize there are airstrips with cow pastures all around.

One slightly sad thing is that as you drive through McDonald county you don’t see scores of old pick-ups. You see hundreds (and thousands during rush hour, I’m told) of expensive SUVs. And — I can hardly believe this — I saw a sign advertising single family homes in the 290s. Are you kidding me? In NW Arkansas/ SW Missouri? The governor’s home is supposed to be in the 290s!

Ah, well, a bit of nostagia. Hopefully these people coming in are still floating on Elk River and staring in amazement as they pass the bluffs of Noel. Hopefully they’re still going to Twin Bridges to fish. I hope they can take in the “Shepherd of the Hills” play. (Branson was a tiny town with a small play and a little “Silver Dollar City” when I was growing up. The only country music played on the car radio from a station out of Springfield.) I hope they can go on a hay ride to see the spook light near Seneca and can drive into Neosho to spend an afternoon at Big Spring Park — catching crawdads and climbing the hills.

I went to bed last night with the sounds of the cousins (and Aunt Diane) playing spoons. It’s such a wonderful sound.

The turkey was delicious; everyone in our family made it to grandma’s; we took an afternoon walk with perfect, sunny weather; and the Cowboys won.

That’s a good day. (How was YOUR Thanksgiving?)

What Happened to the Name Brittany?

Knowing now that a granddaughter is coming . . . and awaiting word on what her name will be, I’ve been curious about names.

I can’t even remember exactly how Diane and I settled on names for our three children. Somehow, Matthew just fit the first one, as did Megan the second and Christopher the third.

We didn’t go far outside the box, I guess. I noticed that the three most popular boys’ names in the 90’s were Michael, Christopher, and Matthew. That covers the three guys in our family. (Of course two of us weren’t born in the 90’s!)

I believe the most common girls’ name in my class at ACU the past couple years has been Brittany. Lots of Brittanys were born in the 90’s. It was the fourth most popular name. Last year it wasn’t even in the top hundred. (Could that have anything to do with a less polished image of a famous Brittany/Britney? Does stuff like that really effect babies’ names?)

Whatever her name is, she will be eagerly welcomed by two parents, four grandparents, eight great grandparents, two uncles, two aunts, and two older cousins.

- - - -

Wow! Big coverage of Farmer’s Branch today. Surely the arguments of the people pushing for anti-immigration legislation (including making English the official language of their town) aren’t what they’re being depicted as in the media. Especially in light of what scripture says about how to treat aliens (Lev. 19:10, 33-34; Jer. 7:5-7; Ez. 22:29; etc.). Too often such debates have pushed emotional buttons of racism and of “there’s not enough for all of us” and “they’re taking over our town.” (I’m not at all saying that’s what has happened in Farmer’s Branch. I’m guessing it has more to do with the process and the problems of ILLEGAL immigration. The folks I know in that city are avid Christ-followers who I’m sure have a concern both for the struggling alien and for the legal process.)

While some focus on keeping illegal aliens out, I love hearing of churches that are figuring ways to care for them and to draw them into community: providing basic needs, language assistance, teaching, and friendship.

I try to imagine what I’d do if I couldn’t even feed my family and I knew that there was a place I could go work so that food, clothes and shelter could be provided for my children.

- - - -

An example of how bad theology can impact international policy.

- - - -

An amazing report on wholeness in a city (in this instance, Dallas) is available here from the J. McDonald Williams Institute.