Evolving in Monkey Town
Whew! My book is finally done. Not Megan’s Secrets—though I sent the final copy to my publisher yesterday. I’m talking about the memoir about my spiritual journey.
Only I didn’t write it, and it’s not about me. The book, Evolving in Monkey Town
Many of the changes began with her lack of confidence in the “cosmic lottery”: that a person’s eternal destiny seems largely related to things they had no control over, like where they were born and who their parents were. That bothered me from a very early age. (There are some wonderful Bible teachers back there who can confirm that.) Evans points out frankly: “We don’t choose our worldviews; they are chosen for us.”
A critical turning point for her (and I have my own equivalents) was watching the torture of a Muslim woman named Zarmina.
Zarmina was a 35-year-old mother of five, who’d been forced to marry an abusive man at age 16. She was accused of murdering her husband—though a murder weapon was never found—after police coerced a confession after beating her for two days with steel cables. The Taliban sent her to an Afghan prison for three years, while her daughters were sold into sex slavery by relatives.
Evans watched in horror as the news showed her being led to a soccer stadium.
“Then, from the left-hand corner of the screen, an executioner approached the woman, methodically lifted his gun to the back of her head, and fired. Several of the girls in the lobby gasped. The documentary suddenly cut to the next image, in which another veiled woman rushed to the body to make sure it was still properly hidden by the burqa. The woman’s lifeless form lay face up, and I noticed that she wore tennis shoes.”
As she processed this horror it hit Evans: “Worst of all, twenty years of Christian education assured me that because Zarmina was a Muslim, she would suffer unending torment in hell for the rest of eternity. How the Taliban punished Zarmina in this life was nothing compared with how God would punish her in the next. Suddenly abstract concepts about heaven and hell, election and free will, religious pluralism and exclusivism had a name: Zarmina.”
She also realized that the objection of friends that “we all deserve hell” didn’t help.
Evans grew up in the small Tennessee town where, decades before, the Scopes Monkey Trial was conducted. She describes Dayton as “a Galapagos Island of sorts, a terrific destination for anyone wishing to study the evolution of fundamentalism in America.” The same kind of confidence in “biblical worldview,” “biblical womanhood,” “biblical politics,” etc., was still there.
With humor and kindness (hatred and condescension are notably missing from this memoir—which isn’t to say there’s no snarkiness!), Evans describes that hyper-confident spiritual upbringing and her days at a fundamentalist college.
The “evolving” in the title, though, isn’t so much about evolution (though learning not to fear evolution is a part of it). It’s rather about the change in her understanding of scripture and faith. You might say that it’s ultimately a book on hermeneutics: how one reads and interprets scripture in light of the life and teaching of Jesus.
Evans talks about this important discovery: “I am convinced that what drives most people away from Christianity is not the cost of discipleship but rather the cost of false fundamentals.”
How can I say this strongly enough? This is a brilliant work. Get it. Read it. Talk about it with your friends.
If you have ever . . .
- wondered what to do about the conflict between science and those who insist that the earth is young (the modern equivalent of those who insisted on a geocentric universe in opposition to science);
- agonized over the implications of the “cosmic lottery”;
- had to bite your tongue when people dropped the “it’s a God thing” around you one too many times;
- suspected that biblical literalism is a dead end;
- been puzzled by how some people seemingly do NOT have all your questions;
- sensed that your doubts may have saved your faith;
- been disturbed by passages of genocidal violence and misogyny in scripture;
. . . then this is a book for you.
As Evans says: “While evolution on a broad, historical scale happens every now and then, evolution within the souls of individuals happens every day, whenever we adapt our faith to change. Evolution means letting go of our false fundamentals so that God can get into those shadowy places we’re not sure we want him to be. . . . My story is about that kind of evolution. It’s about moving from certainty, through doubt, to faith.”
The last chapter, “Living the Questions,” is worth the price of the book. You’ll just have to get it to discover what I mean.
When I read Rachel’s book, I saw myself in her writing too…and I also saw you, Mike. I’d encountered so many of Rachel’s questions because of your teaching at Highland. I’m not surprised you love the book. It’s definitely a must-read for all the reasons you cite.
Katie – I was fortunate to spend 18 years at a church that permitted my questions and uncertainties. I don’t take that for granted! Hope you and Jeremiah have survived the winter.
Thanks Mike! Our Sunday Bible class – called the FaithSeekers – is a little different – we actually read a book in class – obviously not all at once –
. We’ve tended to gravitate toward Lucado books, but Max just can’t keep up with us – lol. We’re now reading Jason Boyett’s “O Me of Little Faith” – and, despite my nervousness since it was my recommendation – the class is loving it. I haven’t read this one so I appreciate the review.
This one may be next on the list – unless Max gets with it and knocks out another one by mid-summer.
Just downloaded it. Thanks, Mike.
I cannot WAIT to read this, Mike. Everything mentioned does not pertain to me, but most of it does. Thank you, thank you for the recommendation.
Ordering, too. Thanks.
When I finished this book for the first time (that’s right I’m on my third read-through), I told Houston, “This is my heart/brain bound in a book.”
I cannot read the end of Evolving in Monkey Town without weeping. Her analogy of a parent longing for their children to come to them with any and all questions speaks to my heart. I feel as though Rachel Held Evans has given me another level of permission to run to a God who delights in my many questions. In the past, I have struggled with feeling guilty for having them in the first place. Thank you for joining this author in encouraging us to ask and ask and ask!
It’s been on my Amazon wishlist since I read about it on Scot McKnight’s blog and on internetmonk. Think I need to order it now!
So many of us have been trained into religion instead of a relationship with Jesus. Thanks for leading us to think deeper, Mike.
Larry
Book ordered and being delivered. This is why I need a Kindle!
Me too, Erin; ordered, being delivered and wish-list for birthday/Christmas/mom’s day/just because you love me day?
A KINDLE!!
Please, family – urgently needed!!!
Thank you, Mike for nudging me to this purchase!!
Blessings on all your days, dear friend!!!
Mike, I asked for this book for Christmas after stumbling upon her blog. The whole time I kept thinking, “I think I wrote this…” I love that she has convictions without being closed-minded and she asks questions (that I’ve always been afraid to ask) but doesn’t pretend to know the answers. She validated all my confusions about Christianity, liberalism, science, etc. and contends that they aren’t mutually exclusive. It’s so well-written, easy to follow, and easy to relate to. I’m glad you liked it, too.
As Mike knows, Evans spoke in chapel at Baylor last week. A link to the video is available on her blog:
http://rachelheldevans.com/baylor-university-video
Be sure to check out other recent posts on her blog, such as “Dear Pastors – Tell Us the Truth” (Feb/16) and “What happened when I tried to love God with my mind” (Jan 17).
I was so impressed with the book when I read it last summer that I have bought extra copies and given them to friends.
It’s on my Kindle!
I should have added above: thanks, Mike, for calling attention to this book with your great review.
Well, I went and bought it. WOW. I am barely into it and it sounds soooo familiar!
Well, about halfway through. WOW! I feel the same as you, Mike! Her journey sounds much like my own.
Nu-uhhhh Mike. It’s MY memoir. Hey, I read it first!
After reading your review on Evoling in Monkey Town and remembering my own journey(ies) I rushed ougt and bought it. I have about 30 pages to go and find it very timely and fitting to too many of us. The lady can turn a phrase and so aptly. Thanks for the mention of it.
What do you do when you are a minister in a good sized church of fantastic people, who are doing a fantastic job in changing their community, but you yourself are in the midst of a faith crisis and not sure if God is real? I love the concept of the book, and loved “Oh Me of Little Faith”, just scared to death to actually read it.
It’s a very nice thought to believe that somehow Christianity and evolutionary theory can be reconciled, but it is impossible to rationalize such a view with Scripture. The Bible is clear as to how God created and ultimately a person has to make a choice as to which view they are going to hold to: the view put forth in Scripture or the views put forth in any number of theories.
Ms. Evans needs to recognize what many Christians and even those of the atheistic bent recognize, evolution is incompatible with Christian belief. However, I believe that when research and experiments are done without an inherent bias towards evolutionary theory that the evidence does indeed come out favoring Scripture in that there truly is a Creator.
RE: Justice Thomas, he has good reasons for not speaking during oral argument, and it has nothing to do with senility or senescence. He and Ginny are tremendously active and alive, much to the chagrin of some. The rumors, as they say, are premature!
qb
GP I would love to talk to you. I didn’t know there was someone else in the boat called doubt who also occupied your professional position.
LC, it is not a nice place to be in. The opportunity to be honest about your doubts are slim, and the fear is constant that when you share your doubts you may well “convince” someone. I would hate to share my real questions and then have a person who may look up to me adopt my shakey faith as their own and not have the “maturity” or resources to deal with it. But yes, I am doubting, big time, makes discussion about prayer and eternal life tough, and discussions about other faith groups and religions about impossible.
You’re not kidding that it is not a nice place to be. I would love to talk to someone who doesn’t have the answers, but is not afraid to discuss the really tough questions.( Mike Cope, I give you permission to give my email address to GP.0 Maybe that is a way we could connect. I am so where you are and have been there far too long. I haven’t given up yet and part of the reason is grown kids who would be devastated. I hope you can get my email address from Mike. Do you ever prayer and feel like you are talking to the wall?
Mike, feel free to share my email address with these two guys, if they want it: GP & LC.
GP & LC … I’m with you guys. I’ve been poking around blogs and books (just got the ‘me of little faith’ book, but haven’t started it until I finish Rachel’s) … and I’ve discovered a wide range of approaches to the subject of faith & doubt. Mike’s approach is interesting, and you should check it out: http://preachermike.com/2005/10/20/112980853171873579
I don’t share his views. I believe faith and doubt are indeed opposites, but that doubting isn’t the end of the world, or your ministry or your soul … rather I believe scripture teaches that faith can be grown, like physical strength can be grown. If you’re weak and/or doubting now, it’s no cause for either celebration or quitting … instead, it’s possible to renew it and rebuild it. Even the apostles would ask Jesus to INCREASE their faith (Luke 17:5). If they can have struggles … then we shouldn’t feel too bad when we do!
When I went through one of several faith struggles some years back, I found what I believe to be some solid help in scripture … at least it helped me.
I’m sad that you are in despair now, and would be willing to join LC and give Mike permission to share my email address with you, if you want to have a confidential conversation about this from a biblical perspective. I think I can help.
I’d also be willing to set up a blog devoted to this topic, if that would be better.
I believe with all my heart that many people in our fellowship are struggling with this, unnecessarily. For a lot of us, it’s because we discovered (like Rachel) at some point in our life that we have been duped by people we trusted. Lied to by our ‘church,’ of all people! It’s very painful, I know … but you don’t have to stay stuck in a state of perpetual doubt. It’s fixable, by the grace of God.
You are in my prayers tonight
I am posting at three in the morning just because I woke up. As I get older I do that more often. I think what really messed with my faith was several things. First, I was raised in a super closed mined version of the CofC. The sad thing was that I absolutely thrived in that environment. I had all of the answers. I literally remember sitting in church thinking that I was the luckiest guy in the world because of all of the homes that could have been mine I was born in one where they went to the right church. I lived in the land of syllogism. Everything not only could be proven, it had to be proven. Naturally as a person gets older,if they have half a brain, they move away from all of that. But for me that really didn’t help because I was so ingrained in the need to prove that I just started thinking that while I had not been told the truth the truth was never-the-less still out there.
The second demon if you will continues to be that the workings of this world, especially when it comes to prayer, just don’t seem to make sense to me. People tell all of these wonderful stories of God talking to them and being transported to some heavenly realm and it just rings hollow to me. That stuff just doesn’t happen, at least not to me.
The third demon is of my own making. It is nigh unto impossible for a person to be even pretty good at the spiritual disciplines if ADD is all they have ever known. I have been able to mask it pretty good, but I hear about people who are transfixed to the Bible for hours on end, and I just get too distracted although I can get lost in a good book. I want to be more like some of the people that I read about, but I’m not.
And here I am. Just like KM. If I express my doubts too much I will find myself trying to sell insurance. I will hurt my children. I will abandon the faith of generations. I don’t want to quit believing, but I also don’t want a lecture. I just don’t think it would help. I want to work through all of this. I could sure use the peace, but I also known that there have been people who have found a great measure of peace in walking away. I used to think they were lying. I no longer do.
AMEN, brother LC … on every word. My life’s situation is very much like yours, but perhaps with a big difference: I’m insatiably curious, I trust no one, and I am a jerk. People don’t like me because I challenge them. (My friends call me the “Dr. House” of preachers)
My strange walk has taught me some things that are contrary to public perceptions. For instance you mentioned “spiritual disciplines.” Everyone accepts the idea these days, but it’s not in the bible – it’s not even real. It’s a vestige of Roman Catholicism. We are made to feel guilty because we’re not holy enough or sensitive enough or “disciplined” enough to have quiet time, etc. Nonsense.
For men of God, scriptures aren’t a component of discipline, it’s FOOD. You eat when you’re hungry. You need it to energize.
But wait … when we’re born again, we aren’t spiritual men! We are spiritual babies.
Our church background treats all the citizens of the kingdom alike. Spiritual babies, youngsters and men. When you expect a spiritually immature person to do the work of a mature one – what do you think happens? We don’t put good 6th grade boys straight into the NFL. But our churches are “digital.” You’re either ‘in’ or ‘out.’ Saved or lost. Faithful or faithless. This is a false dichotomy and its fruit is obvious: fake Christians, weak Christians, Christians that excuse themselves, and Christians that quit.
Our churches force us to this. They force us to choose, because the task they give us is impossible. Our Father does not. The task He gives us is to grow. Rebirth happens in an instant … maturity takes a long, long time of patience, work and grace.
Don’t despair, don’t quit, and don’t rationalize – instead … look to accept yourself as you are now, and then expect yourself not to remain this way, but grow.
sorry for the sermon. this is very personal to me
Thanks so much for this enriching discussion. I will indeed pass the email addresses along to GP—along with my own. I’ll be happy to be in conversation with any of you through email.
Ben, thanks for expressing your opinion. To say the least, that’s not where I am. That position reminds me of those who also confidently said that a heliocentric view of the universe could not possibly be reconciled with the Christian view. Oops.
Thanks to all for these comments. It is helpful to know that I am not the only one, that I am not some kind of freak (ok, I might be a freak, but not the only one). I am at a point where I really believe the greatest personal happiness I could achieve in this area would be to admit my unbelief, and very gently walk away. But I will not do that because of the beautiful faith of my teenage children. I do believe in the goodness of a vibrant church that changes its community, and I minister at such a place. I believe in the goodness of most people of faith, and I believe that they really believe and are blessed by it. It is just that right now I struggle to believe, and cannot ignore it privately and cannot get past it. But I cetainly do not intend to start any blasphemous rumors.
Sure I get frustrated at judgemental Christians, I get frustrated at the pettiness, and have no time for denominational comparisons at all, but it is something deeper. And it is the usuals: pain in the world, the “cosmic lottery “is a huge one, the unjust, inhumane stories of Scripture I struggle with. The ineffectiveness of prayer in changing events.
I love my church family, I love the good being done, it is my only beacon of light, if there is proof for me it lies in the lives changed, but I am just struggling to believe it is all real.
Thank you for letting me express this, besides my wife I have shared this with no one. She is so understanding and helpful, she has no idea what it means for me to have someone like her in my life.
Thanks again
GP – Just sent you an email with the addresses of KM and LC. In addition, please feel to respond by email to me.
GP, I hope you will write. I am sure we might find a good deal to share with one another.
KM -
What you said can’t be true. I have both faith and doubt. I don’t have faith and unbelief. The latter two are opposites; the former two live in tension.
If a person cannot have both faith and unbelief, it might be difficult to pray, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.”
Eddy – Thanks for that. I don’t want to put words in Stan’s mouth, but in the blog post of mine that someone referenced above (and other places), I tried to point out that their is an “unbelief” that is more akin to what we call “doubt.” Then there is an “unbelief” that moves into the realm of atheism. The great struggle for believers is doubt. We believer; yet we move along with doubts.
Stan, I appreciate your thoughts, and I made my comments in spite of the fact that I know most of you here won’t agree with me. That’s why I reposted the link to Mike’s view – you guys will like it better.
Explanations of my view would take too much space here … and in this particular blog would not be helpful, I think. I have studied this for years, and learned some important lessons when I went through my own faith struggles. I know what’s true because of scripture & experience – God is faithful to provide a way out.
But this isn’t my blog, it’s Mike’s. So I don’t feel inclined to hog this space to defend my position. I just wanted these brothers to know that there’s a different way to look at the subject, and if they want to access that, I’ll be happy to help. If not, that’s cool, too.
GP, for what it’s worth, your persistent tenacity in the face of struggles is inspiring to me – it looks a lot like love. You are in my prayers, and if you want to shoot me a note, I’ll be checking email.
Mike, I want to thank you for this blog. I have different views than you in many ways, but it’s so great to have a place to share these kinds of things that we often cannot do in “the church.” I love the church with all my heart – it’s my family in every since of the word. But sometimes I really want to thump my family. Thank you for letting us (me) commune here.
I know this isn’t about your post, but I was in your class a couple years back at ACU and remembered how you talked about your guacamole love, and saw this recipe and thought I should forward this on to you. haha
Avocado Fries
Print this recipe!
1 avocado, sliced into ¼ inch slices
½ cup milk
½ cup flour
1 egg, beaten
Canola oil, for frying
Lime Sriracha Mayo
½ cup mayonnaise
Juice from ½ lime
Sriracha, or other spicy chili sauce
Fill a skillet with oil until it’s about ¼ – ½ inch full. Heat on high until oil sputters when a drop of water is dropped in.
Place the milk, flour and egg into three separate shallow dishes. Beat about a tablespoon of water into the egg mixture. Take a slice of avocado and dunk in milk, then the flour, then the eggs, then back in the flour. Place each slice on a plate until you’ve dunked the whole batch in batter.
Slowly add the slices to the oil. You don’t want to overcrowd the pan, so stop before they all start touching each other. After about a minute you’ll see the edges turning brown, this means it’s time to flip them over. Allow to cook for another minute and then remove them from the skillet and place on a plate lined with paper towels.
To make the mayonnaise, mix together the mayo, lime juice and sriracha. Add the Sriracha to taste depending on how spicy you want it. Serve along side your avocado fries and enjoy!