When Winter Christians Go to Small Groups
Matthew Paul Turner on doubt:
Okay, so my name is Matthew and I’m a doubter. (Shall we drink to that?)
The truth is, sometimes I think this whole “Christianity” thing feels like a bad fairytale, like “She-Ra” without the sex appeal and a Pegasus. And other times, my struggling belief that Jesus lives pulls me out of my own muck (and other people’s muck).
Shadow of a Doubt
For the longest time, existing amid that tension drove me nuts. Whenever I was in a room surrounded by people — you know, friends, family, strangers, etc., who all confess to completely understand the “Good News” (and I feel like I’m always in a room like that) — doubt made me feel what I imagine Sarah Palin would feel in a room full of political science professors: like an hors d’oeuvre.
And for a long time, I walked into those kinds of situations anticipating and even fearing being eaten by the hungry mob of “certain” believers. Last year, one of the pastors at my church asked Jessica and me to join the small group they were starting at their house. My first response was a silent cringe, mostly because I’d grown to hate being in small circles of people whose “faith in God” was so thick you could cut it with a knife. But we joined, and upon saying, “sure, why not?” I started sharpening my machete.
. . . You can read more here. Also, here is a recent post I wrote about doubt.
I keep thinking about this: the one Christian that outsiders constantly point to with admiration is Mother Teresa, a woman we now know who struggled with doubt her whole life.
I think there are many Christians in worship services every Sunday who secretly struggle with doubt but few would know that unless the assembly is a place where people can, in faith, express the doubts they struggle with. And if we take some cues from the Psalms, doubt can be a great expression of faith.
Grace and peace,
Rex
I am one of them, Rex.
A book that was of great help to me in my struggles with doubt was Lynn Anderson’s “If I Really Believe, Why Do I Have These Doubts?” I now understand that faith and doubt are healthy and even expected companions, and that there are more doubters out there sitting in countless churches than I ever imagined. However, few of the fellow Christians in my church are willing to even admit that healthy faith can include doubt, much less that they personally struggle with it. When I admitted in a class (where we were speaking of doubt) that I struggle with it, you could hear crickets chirping, and feel the fear start to smother us. It’s enough to make you feel like an alien in your own church family. Thankfully, God is gracious and hears my cries of “Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!” Oddly enough, now that I’ve made peace with the struggle, I can now find a strange beauty to it.
Shelly, I am too…and I’m a preacher in a church too.
When you ask questions of, or doubt, God, you are actually expressing some level of faith. Because if you didn’t have faith, there wouldn’t be something to doubt.
Now for those who “follow Jesus” in complete certitude, I have to wonder… if you don’t doubt, do you really have faith? Or do you just blindly accept what you’re told?
Challenging thoughts….good thoughts. Faith without doubt can be an ideology if great care is not taken. I would recommend Dr. Bill Musk’s THE CERTAINTY TRAP, comparing/contrasting this struggle of faith for Muslims and Christians.