Worship From the Back Row
Nearly my whole life, I’ve experienced Sunday assemblies from the front row. Microphone on, a few notes tucked in a Bible, a desperate prayer in my heart, and an eye on the watch.
Yesterday I got to worship from the back row of Highland’s cavernous sanctuary (because of a visiting granddaughter). It was wonderful in a whole new way — getting to see the span of all the people I’ve loved over the past two decades.
But one moment stole the morning.
Amanda and Ray, founders of Sanctuary Home for Children, led communion, along with their daughter and Amanda’s brother, Jay.
I love Jay. He’s a God-enthused, mentally-disabled man who loves to clap. And during worship he claps to a different beat. If we have syncopation, it’s largely thanks to Jay.
As she spoke, Jay knew his turn was coming, so he kept stepping up to the lecturn. She kept motioning him back, “Not yet, Jay.” So he’d smile and wave to everyone.
Finally, it was his turn. His brother-in-law talked about how Jay’s favorite part of worship is communion and about how he likes to talk through the meaning of it. So Ray asked Jay a few questions: Why do you like communion? What is the meaning of the bread? Why did Jesus die for us?
Jay’s answers were simple. Profound. Biblical. Communal. No creed better captures the central meaning of our faith.
What I saw from the back row (peeking while Virginia led the prayer) was people wiping their eyes and nodding their heads.
I worshipped from the back row yesterday too – I was sitting down, feeding another woman’s baby. It was one of the most meaningful times that I’ve had at church!!! I could SEE all my brother’s & sisters standing up & singing. I saw a friend of mine, who has a child with Down’s Syndome, go up to an older boy in our church who also has Down’s & bring him over & hug him & they worshipped together. I saw a men & women who have weathered many difficult storms, raising their arms in prayer & song, I saw my brothers & sisters united in community; united by Christ. I LOVED IT!!!! It was very powerful & I confess that I got more caught up in the memories of what has happened in these people’s lives & what I’ve been through myself & how these very same people helped me through my own difficult times, that I don’t even remember what song we were singing! I only saw my family – and I saw them through the eyes of love. I think you DO see a lot more from the back row!!!!
Thanks, thanks!
I’ve studies transubstantiation, consubstantiation, and sacramentalism.
Give me Jay’s theology any day.
I loved seeing Jay up there yesterday – and I just lost it when he said, “Because He wants the best for us.” Precious.
Man, this is a moving story, Mike. Thanks for sharing, and letting the rest of us peek into that experience.
This is a little unusual, but when I preach, a lot of times I like to just sit with my family, or with another family if mine is gone. I have to leave the pew a half chorus earlier, but I like to think it helps me remember that I’m not speaking as someone over the church, but as part of the church, which is in conversation with God.
It is amazing how such a seemingly small thing like the location of your butt in a church service can make a dramatic difference in how you receive, and interact with, the worship experience.
Great idea, Steven. Yes, that’s a very different perspective!
Mike, yesterday was magic!….in so many ways, magic! Too many stories to tell to complete this but I was so glad that I was there. It was good to look over in the beginning and see you sitting in the pew. I have missed you.
There are some really great resonances here with the account Henri Nouwen gives of his friend, “Bill,” at the end of _In the Name of Jesus_. Fantastic.
And Steven, I have often imagined that if I were ever to be granted access to a pulpit again, I would want to approach the pulpit in precisely that way…emerging from within the assembling family. I don’t mean that as a slam on anyone who doesn’t, BTW; I have known those same nerves and apprehensions Mike’s talking about from the front row. I’m just saying – what freedom it would be to be so well prepared (however you wish to interpret that) that I could just enjoy the assembly from the peanut gallery where my family sits until it was my turn!
qb
My husband preaches for a small congregation in East Carolina. We attended Highland years ago as grad students, and I happened to be thinking about it yesterday. My thought was how great it is that we know every person in our church. It is very much like worshipping with your family every week. It doesn’t really matter where he sits, because nearly every row is the first row! How special it is that our parishioners feel comfortable in talking to him during the sermon. It isn’t ever unruly, but truly an interactive worship. It is good to remember that when I am wistful for a larger church. Every congregation has its place, and every minister within it.
Thanks for this post, Mike. It shouldn’t, but it still amazes me that other people love my brother, too. He is part of my hope for heaven – that someday we’ll be able to converse together with no barriers of cognitive ability. Then again, maybe I’ll be surprised to find that he’s a lot closer to perfect than I am.
Amanda – I have the same ponderings about Megan. When we are in the “new heavens and new earth,” will she be whole? or will we finally be whole, having learned her language of simplicity and love?
I LOVED this post. So sorry I missed seeing you. I was in the middle of the sacred left side. Things were pretty spectacular from the middle section, too. Amanda had told me she had hoped to have Jay come up front if she was ever asked to do communion again. I was so thankful it happened so quickly. I hope that yesterday’s communion was indicative of “Highland’s Angel”. Hope to see you soon.
Jana
Of course I preach from the front row, but even if am not preaching, I still like to seat up front. I feel it better up there.
No doubt whatsoever – the LORD and His Spirit made their presence known yesterday! He’s always with us, but yesterday ….
When we assemble our aged and shrunken Body in the presence of the Lord, sitting scattered about in what seems now a cavernous sanctuary, i sit near the front so i can hear — even though, closing on 7o, i’m among “the young people.” When i am called to preach or pray or serve the table, i look out at what looks like an audience at a third-run movie theatre. We make jokes about how people struggled to sit at the front of the bus and then always sit in the back of the meeting house. No doubt that the immensity of the assembly at Highland is a burden, but it is also a blessing that some of us might envy.
Jay would probably transgress on our fetish for “decency and order” — although a presiding person named Amanda and a praying person named Virginia would surely upset some of us more — but i think we need to borrow them all, so we could shed a few tears together. i am grateful for your account of them. Jesus loves the little children. . . .
God’s Peace to you.
d
eirenetheou, your comment touched my heart. I immediately prayed for the Holy Spirit to touch your little body of believers with new fire and new life. Your sweet heart came through in your words. May our powerful Lord hold you in his arms and you feel that more powerfully than you ever have. May you have life abundant.
I too am enriched and thankful to hear of Jay and his profound “syncopation” for the body of believers at Highland. How precious is the off-beat, the pure of heart and uncomplicated members of the body that draw worship to its center of common love that unites us in Christ. I minister to a small church in northern California and enjoy sitting with my family but have found on at least one occasion that up front might have been better. I got so wrapped up in worship that I forgot that it was time for the sermon and sat in the pew wondering why everyone was suddenly looking at me. Maybe a discussion of “favorite worship moments” would be a revealing and fun interchange… I would have to believe that Mike would include in his top ten this beautiful story of Jay.
And yet – Jay notwithstanding – there are still those who would insist that we all must have a perfect understanding of all scripture (their understanding, of course) and a perfect obedience to scripture (their obedience, that is) in order to enjoy a “saved” relationship with their God.
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” ~ Matthew 18:3
Amen Keith!!!!