I Am a Loser (of Things)
(Blog repeat from 9/04)
I am a loser. Not as in “winners and losers.” But as in “finders and losers.”
I lose things.
I hate to point fingers here, but it seems to have been passed along to me by a maternal gene. But enough of that. If my mom wants to start her own blog and make her own confessions, that’s fine.
I spend so much of my time looking for things I’ve lost: my sermon notes, phone numbers, CDs, keys, glasses (a particularly hard item to look for!), my wallet, my pocketknife, and my cell phone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to call my cell phone to find it. I wish I could call my wallet.
My current list of things I’ve lost: a Brueggemann book, notes for a message I’m supposed to give in late October, and my wedding ring.
I know the last item sounds alarming. But I’ve lost it so many times, we’ve learned to not be anxious. It always finds me. I’m Frodo.
To be honest, it isn’t THE ring. It isn’t the one my beloved slipped on my finger in May of 1978. That one is long gone. I think this is the second ring; Diane believes it is the third. In some ways (given my history), it’s amazing that I’ve had this one 17 years. And the one before it was stolen from a locker in the men’s faculty dressing room at Harding (not by a faculty member, obviously).
It isn’t that I’m unorganized. I just set things down with my mind already giving full attention to something else.
The most grievous thing I’ve lost (and I hate to say this after mentioning that I lost a wedding ring) is my NIV Bible that I’d had from seminary days until about 1996. I searched forever for that beloved book.
The one I now have, I’ve held onto since then. I’ve tried to lose it, but each time it has returned. I’ve had to call a rental agency in Memphis and a church on the West Coast. But both times, it was FOUND!
What a great thing it is to find something. I’m guessing that my life has had bursts of joy that many of you have never known because you don’t lose things. Nearly every week there is some moment of ecstasy when I realize that something I thought might be gone for good is still around.
Everyone loves the story of the lost sheep and the lost son. But I have a special appreciation for Jesus’ story tucked in between those two better-known ones: the parable of the lost coin. “And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’”
That’s good news.
(UPDATE: The ring was found. It’s currently waiting for a visit to the jewelers to be enlarged because I have some arthritis on that knuckle. My current list of lost items is lengthy. Just a week ago, I lost my favorite sunclips for my glasses. I’ve lost them dozens of times. They always find me. They still will.)
I’m with you. I lose things all the time. Right now I’m searching for the usb thingy that I use to upload our radio broadcast to the podcast.
I lost my favorite NIV Bible as well. It was in a backpack I was carrying at Camp Impact at OCU. I set it down (I know now) to help guide kids through the lunch line. Three years later, I got a phone call at the church office from someone at OCU that had found it in a food service closet. They think it had been pushed into the closet and into a dark corner by a food service cart. Three years, but it still found me. Another time I left a Bible in Mexico City. That one found me in two years. So, you never know. You may yet find it.
Funny stuff Mike. I do notice you don’t go into detail as to how they find you. I find that constantly asking for lost stuff helps you find it quicker – as in before you actually start looking in earnest.
“Honey, have you seen the peanut butter?”
Pantry – and look.
“I did”
Loook HARDER.
“I still don’t see it… Oh, no, wait, there it is – it was hiding behind a can of tuna.”
Oh, how I can relate to this. The clips are some of the first things to go. They slip down between the car seats. And how many empty CD cases can you have before actual CDs start to turn up?
I’m just hoping to find some things as we unpack here in Oklahoma. Finding lost things is like Christmas coming early. The latest for me was a CD of my favorite singer/songwriter. Just couldn’t settle in until it was found. Certainly missing hearing you preach.
Waymon – I trust that the CD you’re looking for is your son’s! The young man can rock. (And I hope it’ll show up quickly. He’s on iTunes, you know!)
I think the funniest was when Grandma lost her teeth. They were gone for a week when we gave up and bought new ones. They were later found under the seat belt connection in her daughter’s car.
I’ve often wished for a cmd+F function for 3D life.
I always lose my bible. But it is amazing how it always comes back. I lost it once in Texas, on a car in a subdivision. I ordered a new one, but one Sunday at the congregation it was announced that someone in the town found a Bible from that congregation. Funny thing was that the person knew it was from the congregation I was at because the lesson for Bible class was a rebuke of this person’s church. They still gave the bible back.
http://www.matthewsblog.waynesborochurchofchrist.org
zach is on his 5th or 6th wedding ring.(in 4 years of marriage) now we just get the replacements at walmart. it used to bug me, but now i find it endearing…
I was once visiting an elderly friend in the hospital. He is alone, so I offered to keep his wallet so it wouldn’t be stolen while he slept. So a few weeks later he asked for his wallet. I had a sold sinking feeling … where did I put that wallet. Well I turned everything upside down. He was getting impatient and I was having a feeling of dread. So I asked God to help me find that wallet. I said, “Lord, you know where that wallet is … and for the sake of that old man I ask you to show it to me.” Within an hour I walked into a room I had already searched and put my hand directly on his wallet. Now when I lost something, I always ask God to help me find it quickly. Sometimes he does!
I’m continually looking for proof that I’m not getting senile nor Alzheimers. Since I’m old enough to be your mom, your experiences give me great consolation!
I thought I was the only man who had lost a wedding ring. I would love to hear from others. I makes me feel better.
You said, “I’m guessing that my life has had bursts of joy that many of you have never known because you don’t lose things.”
I’ll take the satisfaction (over the frustation and THEN… joy) of never having lost much (never wallet, keys, cell phone OR wedding ring). That kind of joy is like finding out you have severe migraines as opposed to some sort of brain cancer (apologies to those with migraines; my wife being one)
Sometimes I lose my temper; occasionally I find it!
Sorry you have arthritis in your knuckle. I have it in my index finger (one of my sons said from pointing at him to do this or that, or not to do this or that).
I lost my wedding ring for about an hour on a really long flight one time, but found it before hubby–sitting right beside me—woke up from a “Tylenol PM” nap. The frantic searching I did in my seat while he slept was so comical, but I can assure you I was not laughing at the time. It felt like a scene out of “I Love Lucy”. When I found it, I almost fainted with relief! When he woke up, he asked if he missed anything. Now what do you think I said to that?!
rc – my husband’s wedding ring is somewhere on the bottom of the Current River in Missouri.
I rarely lose something, but do loan out and forget who I loaned it to, unfortunately, usually books I’d really like to have returned. The latest is my much loaned copy of The Shack 0 I’ve loaned it so much I can’t remember who the last person is. Maybe someone reading here will think, “Oh! I’ve got Kathy’s copy of The Shack! Pleeze??
It’s really silly that I don’t lose everything. I’m so disorganized I HAVE to make myself BE organized or all things, large or small, would be lost forever out of my life. Hmmmmmmm
Maybe this and the paint problem have deep theological implications . Have you done these things because you are an Augustinian /Calvinist or Pelagian / Arminian ; is all this due to irresistible grace or free will . I think it is because your are human. I can relate to everything you say. It seems to be a daily thing with me. Before I leave the house I have to go through and ask, do I have the keys, books, notes, cell phone, etc and still sometimes have to come back in the house because I forgot something.
I think it’s just a preacher thing!
Mike
Well I don’t really lose things, much anyway, but I do lock keys inside cars. The last time was at a patient’s home and it was in the trunk of the car. Easy to do when you are getting out supplies to do an IV for someone. I didn’t notice I had done that until it was time to go. No keys anywhere. Finally I realized what I had done and called my husband to drive all the way across the Detroit Metro area in rush hour traffic to bring me another pair. Trouble was I had to go back into the patient’s home to wait. She had dementia and couldn’t understand why the nurse was staying at her home after already having said bye. Every 10 to 15 minutes she politely asked who I was and what could she do for me? It took my husband an hour to get there. So the patient was pretty confused and a little anxious by the time I finally left.
My mother always used to say, “When you start losig your keys, your purse, your glasses, it means you have too much stress in your life and it’s time to settle down.” Through the years I have found that to be true.
Ironic that I’m commenting after Coping’s insights. Losing things is new to me. It seems to have come on after the birth of my third child and increased agony in my ministry job. This last spring I lost my wedding ring & iPhone in the same week. Five weeks later, the very day that I bought a replacement phone & my husband presented me with a new ring because I was leaving on a trip the next day, both were found – in two different places by two different people. I truly believe the Lord was granting me a little gift and reminder – that He does care about the little things and, as my parent, takes pleasure in giving me joy. And now I have two weddings rings from which to choose!
http://mylifethemusical.blogspot.com/2008/05/and-now-rest-of-story.html
Ah…so that explains the missing remote at Zoe last year. At least you recover well and have learned to cope!
Well, the other day I couldn’t find the remote control for our little kitchen T.V….
It was in the sink with the dirty dishes.
I really like a clean counter top.
I thought about you this morning Mike. I searched for my car keys for 45 minutes this morning only to find them in my back pocket.
Mike wrote
It isn’t that I’m unorganized. I just set things down with my mind already giving full attention to something else
I do that exact same thing, especially when I’m shopping. I’ll pick up an item off the shelf, and then see something else that catches my attention. My husband goes behind me while shopping, making sure that the items I put back on the shelf while concentrating on the new item don’t fall off! I think he did this for a few years before I even knew he was doing it!
I lost my first wedding ring when I hastily “tossed” it on my dresser on my way out the door to go play basketball. After that, Kara made me(we agreed it would be best) wear $9.97 Wal-Mart wedding rings (approximately 4 or 5 give or take) until I finally found a promise ring on the garage floor of our old house. I now wear that one. Maybe next year James Avery.
P.S. I take my commitment to Kara very seriously.
Belatedly, but can’t resist:
A.M.’s WEDDING RING (which was prettier than mine because it was bigger, with larger diamond CHIPS–we were poor college students when we married) IS SOMEWHERE IN FORT PHANTOM LAKE. If anyone finds a gold band with a few diamond chips in it and AMD inscribed inside, let us know. We had been married about a year when he went on that fishing trip.
I’ve got a good lost and found story! When my parents came to visit me in Salvador, I of course had to educate them on the finer points of taking a bus here in the city. My mom was having back problems and was carrying with her a special pillow to help ease her discomfort while riding. I got distracted talking and our stop came upon me quicker than I expected. So I hastily stood up and pulled the cord, and my mom was so concerned with following me and not getting lost that she forgot to pick up her pillow.
We realized it was missing when we got home a few minutes later. I called our neighbor from church to ask what we should do. She said to call the bus company, give them all the details and see if the pillow was turned in to the driver. So I called, left my name and number, and told Mom that the pillow was probably gone for good. Lo and behold, though, the bus company called back a hour or so later. When that bus got back to the bus barn after finishing the route, the driver had the pillow. We were having a Bible study at our house when we got the phone call. All the Brazilians were astonished and said, “That kind of thing never happens in Salvador. I can’t believe you got so lucky!” Needless to say, we didn’t let Mom take her pillow on the bus anymore, but it sure makes for a great story!
Yes, it was a CD of his music, but this was a social justice song, “The Farmer Song,” that we’ve worked on off and on through the years. We’re hoping to pull some funding together to get it released so that profits can benefit Black land loss efforts.
Am pretty enthusiastic about the latest release.
I just have to comment…. I remember stopping at an intersection just outside Searcy last year to pick up your suit coat you’d left at the Blue’s house and bring it to Little Rock just in time for the wedding you were doing. You even lose your clothes, man!
I’m the finder in our family. But only of everyone else’s things. It’s become sort of uncanny – I’m fairly consistent. I think it’s a gift just for family though, so don’t call me for help. But I think of the “Lost Coin” story every single time I find whatever I’ve lost. My favorite memory of a good “find” was when I was about 9 months pregnant with Leah. Monty was meeting Seth (age 3) and me at CiCi’s for lunch and we arrived first. While waiting in the car I slipped my wedding ring off to put on hand lotion while waiting. Got out and didn’t discover it missing until we were eating inside. The frantic search for that ring, on my hands and knees in the parking lot, with that 9 month pregnant tummy getting in the way. . . and the joy of finding it in the floorboard of the car. I still smile every time we go there – and remember the relief.
Update: My sunclips found me. It took a while. But they came home.
My most careless habit right now is putting my Bible on top of the car while loading up our youngest into his car seat, then getting into the driver’s seat with my Bible still on the roof. I’ve done this 4 or 5 times. So far, I’ve managed to catch myself just in time, but I’ve come awfully close to sowing the seed along the highway.