Comments on: A Default Setting of Love

By: Cathy Messecar

Cathy Messecar — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:25:53 +0000

Mike, I’m late in posting on this. Over the years, I’ve wondered why folks who had gentle natures and sweet spirits while well became different, at times, when their minds were not “complete”–perhaps even exhibiting violent behavior or harsh language. The ones I had contact with were faithful disciples of Jesus, in my family, and we had plenty of history between us for me to know the before and after person.

I could only come to the conclusion that when they were no longer able to yield to the Holy Spirit in part or whole, then those were the moments or hours that the flesh took over. I am now caring for my husband’s and my elderly parents, in different stages of illnesses and aging. My mom is the most ill with dementia, Parkinsonism, and Alzheimers.

I can always tell when Mom is there in the moment, her kindness, her prayers, her thank yous, her grasping of my hand and kissing it, or giving me an encouragement saying to me as I bathe her, “You are grace.”

But….there are other moments when Mom is not present, her mind is not under the influence and guidance of the Holy Spirit when she exhibits another nature. She expressed to me the other day that she doesn’t want to grow mean or combative or hurt someone. I know her heart under Jesus’ influence. I simply assured her that the Holy Comforter will never leave her and will always love her.

She may not always be able to yield her spirit to His, but He will not leave of that I have full assurance.

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 12 May 2008 02:31:06 +0000

This is a wonderful post. And it goes along so well with celebrating 30 years. Happy Anniversary! Diane is absolutely gorgeous; your sideburns are something.

By: Sandra

Sandra — Sun, 11 May 2008 11:51:13 +0000

May well be your most important blog, yet. Thank You

By: Tammie Hacker

Tammie Hacker — Sat, 10 May 2008 23:30:19 +0000

she loved to sing and had the most beautiful voice until the end when she couldn’t talk anymore…the only time she seemed alive since Papa Mutt died was when she was in church singing or at the nursing home singing with different groups who would come in to sing with the residents and she knew every word of every song and she sang out with that beautiful, clear soprano voice. When the preacher quoted a scripture, she quoted it right along with him and when he asked a question, she answered it right out loud! She did love the Lord and I am so grateful that she taught me to love Him, too. I was talking today with my sister and brothers about how we had a “drug” problem when we were kids…Mama drug us to church every time the doors were open and to gospel meetings and singings every where in the Mississippi Delta and usually by herself because Daddy didn’t become a Christian until I was in college.

This is part of a tribute that I wrote to my Mom after her death on Feb. 29, 2008. She had Alzeheimeizers (SP?) and she didn’t know anyone but her children when the end came. Pappa Mutt was my step dad for 20 years. He died in December 2007. My dad died in 1983. After Pappa Mutt was gone, Mama lost her will to live but somehow she never lost her knowledge of the scriptures or her love for the Lord. What a comfort that is!

By: Dr. Jim White

Dr. Jim White — Sat, 10 May 2008 12:32:00 +0000

I had a similar experience. A lady I’ve know most of my life had had a stroke. She walked up to me and said, “I like you.” She had the biggest smile on her face. I thought I was something special to her, when she walked up to the next person and said the same thing. Her husband looked at me kind of sheepishly. Turns out, that was all she could say. Once she had her stroke, it limited her to saying, “I like you.” I guess it was imprinted on her mind. Thanks, Mike, for the reminder.

By: RogueMinister

RogueMinister — Sat, 10 May 2008 08:17:06 +0000

The work of the Spirit definitely outlasts the capabilities of the mind. Praise God!

By: Paul Mathis

Paul Mathis — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:41:55 +0000

Mike,

I’ve been avoiding the comments for a while, but felt compelled to share on this post. My grandfather passed away several years ago after suffering for several years with dementia and Alzheimer’s. He forgot his grandkids, he forgot his children, he began to think that his wife (my grandmother) was his first wife who had passed away in 1974. But every time I visited him, he gathered the group together and prayed. He never forgot God. Even when he was a danger to himself (because he kept wandering off) and to my grandmother (because he was becoming violent), he was admitted to a nursing home that had a chapel service every day. So every morning, he woke up, put on his suit, and went to church. He never forgot God.

I know this is probably not the proper context for the verse, but when my dad called me to say that Papa had passed away, the very first thing I thought was, “Then we will know fully, even as we are fully known.”

By: tc

tc — Fri, 09 May 2008 20:10:35 +0000

Mike, I’m a preacher also, and those types of visit I love the best. There’s just something so special about those visits. I always leave with a smile on my face, thanking God for the opportunity.

I believe words of love and affirmation by default emerge from a heart that is the same.

By: Brett

Brett — Fri, 09 May 2008 19:41:40 +0000

Nice timing. I was just thinking last night that my dad (who is suffering from rapidly increasing dementia) is just as kind, peaceful and loving to everyone as he was before the disease. My thoughts were to reevaluate my words and actions in case I become what I am.
Thanks Mike.

By: mark

mark — Fri, 09 May 2008 17:24:10 +0000

Thanks Freda. Actually that is comforting to know and is a reminder to not only cultivate the gentle spirit while we can but to remember that if it is taken away that God remembers us and we should be patient with our loved ones that are in some ways becoming strangers to us.

By: freda

freda — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:58:08 +0000

Lest we judge those who’ve lost discernment, there are those dementias which rob us of our gentler natures. The cultivated spirit is not always the one to remain, as much as we would like to hope it would be.

By: Lauren Cunningham

Lauren Cunningham — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:39:29 +0000

What a sweet reminder! I believe we come to the place where we speak only words of life, blessing, and affirmation, when we humbly ask for the infilling of the Holy Spirit to be constantly renewed in our spirits and when we make a CHOICE to speak with kindness and godliness. We have to constantly LEARN that our tongues and our witnesses hold the power of life and death. May we forever choose to spread life! Thank you for this.

By: mark

mark — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:26:52 +0000

Wonderful reminder. I have noticed from spending time with older people, whether church members or visiting the nursing homes and hospitals, that as dementia sets in weakening the minds “filter” what has been in the heart all along becomes accentuated. Those who cultivated a sweet, gentle and loving spirit in life tend to become even more that way and those who were bitter and angry become more combative and suspicious. Has anyone else noticed this?

By: Val

Val — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:09:03 +0000

Does it ever blow you mind to see what a great sermon can be conveyed in such a short bittersrweet story?

By: Kathy

Kathy — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:34:14 +0000

Oh, Mike! What a sweet way to begin the day, with words of love from one whose very being is anchored in love. This is probably one of the dearest blogs I’ve read in a long while. Thank you!
Unhappily, I too have a lot of work to do. May God forgive me.