Yesterday someone told me that he was at an Abilene bus station this past week. There was a man there screaming obscenities, including the repeated use of God’s name. My friend figured there was nothing he could do.
Then he saw a member of our church who is mentally challenged. She walked over to the man who was screaming, hugged him hard, and then said, “God loves you so much. But it hurts his feelings when you talk about him like that.”
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” (1 Peter 3:15)
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:6)
What a wonderful story, Mike. Talk about heart warming and awe inspiring.
Thanks! Dee
“My friend figured there was nothing he could do.” Fear does that to all of us. What a great story though!!!
BTW - got my Wineskins e-mail with some infor on a book called ‘Irresistable Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical’ by Shane Claiborne. The article mentioned that some ACU classes require it? Have you read it? My husband has & he LOVED it & I’m starting the book too. Things will be changing around our house very soon!
“Mentally challenged” folks usually have a heart that is much more child-like than the rest of us. Therefore, I need to become “mentally challenged”.
DU
This one convicts me. I fail over and over.
I had one of those “man to man” talks to my oldest son the other day. I went through the list of words(yes as a minister I did say each and every word to my son that you can think of in English and Spanish) that he would hear at school and on movies that we don’t repeat. Then I told him that words that we hold that is the word word that we could say or misuse is the name of God or Jesus. I expected him to never to damn that name or to misues that name in anyway shape or form. It is Holy. I then explaned to him the consequences of his actions if he said any of those words especially misusing the name of God and His son Jesus Christ.
It seems like more and more we see people misues that name than anyother name in our society today. God please help us remember and teach our children that your name is Holy and to hold it in the hightest respect. Amen.
I’m not at all questioning your motives or even your right to have that man-to-man discussion with your son, Preacherman, but where in scripture do we get the idea that there is a list of “bad words”? It seems to me that any word can be used in a bad way… and that any word may also have an appropriate context for being used.
I have two daughters. And I have tried to teach them that the benefit or harm in the language is in the intent and in the message rather than in the word itself.
I think, however, it is useful for our children to know that certain words are seen as “profane” in our society… but it seems to me that list changes as I move from place to place, and in and out of cultural and generational boundaries.
The age of your son probably plays a role in your approach too… I just realized that your son may be 6 or 7 and not yet ready to deal with the nuances of abstract ideas.
A list of “no-no” words is entirely appropriate for certain ages!
I am too comfortable in the boat, and too timid, lacking the courage to love in the manner you told in your story. Thanks for the inspiration to be strong and courageous, to get out of the boat, and to love like she did.
There clearly is a class of speech which is inappropriate for Christians. While the specific words or sayings are not entirely spelled out in scripture, it is apparent that we are expected to be able to recognize this kind of speech.
Deu 5:11 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
Eph 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Eph 5:4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Rom 3:12 All have turned away,
they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good,
not even one.”
Rom 3:13 “Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit.” “The poison of vipers is on their lips.”
Rom 3:14 “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”
Col 3:8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Pro 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
Jam 5:12 Above all, my brothers, do not swear-not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned.
What a lovely answer. Almost seems as if Christ Himself were answering the man’s rants.
I cringe when I hear Christians using euphemisms that are watered down names for God or Jesus. So often when something is said to them, they will respond that they don’t think of it in that way…it’s just an expression to them…that times change (but, incidentally, the dictionary definition of those words stays the same)…we need to give much thought to our expressions…to make our speech holy and pure. I think this is simply another indication of how desensitized many have become because of the type TV or movies they watch…even changes in just the past 10 years.
The only thing better than this story would be to have seen the look on the guy’s face as he received his “God loves you” bear hug.
To quote an oft-used line lately, “Priceless.”
Dee you make a very, very great point.
Alan,
I think you are absolutely right– all of those verses deal with the heart of the matter–things that are always inappropriate like cursing someone, swearing because no one would believe you if you didn’t, using God’s name in a disrespectful or disingenuous way, dragging people’s minds toward filth rather than toward what is “beneficial” or “of heaven.” All of these verses, however, get at the deeper understanding that I want my children to have–that I can’t judge a person’s heart simply by looking at his or her vocabulary. Words are not the culprit here, hearts and minds are. We select language and design it to effect others in particular ways. I can design very effective ways of cursing someone, lying to someone, profaning God, or dragging others away from God and toward filth without every using a single “bad word.”
Words are loaded for us. So when a person like, for instance, Ann Lamott has something deeply spiritual to say to us and chooses to use some words that most of us would never use (f**ked, or sh*t for instance) some miss the spiritual message because of the word choice. That’s something that Ann Lamott needs to consider carefully–but it’s also something that we as readers need to consider carefully. Would I get the gravity of the message if she, instead said “he was ‘messed’ up” or “that was doo-doo”?
Once again, we may be tempted to misplace our righteous anger toward surface distinctives rather than toward the true bad fruit of the problem. This can allow us to fail to hear important messages from people who use the wrong words, and cause us to justify cruelty or hatred that is visited upon others in “christianized” language.
Perhaps the most encouraging thing about Mike’s story is how, even in confrontation, “childlike innocence” is absolutely non-threatening to others. If we could love in that way, even “rebuke” in that way, then we might be able to really impact in the way Jesus did.
Thanks for the beautiful story Mike–sorry if I dragged things in the wrong direction. That was not my intent. God’s name, above all, should be honored in all we do or say. I think that’s the main point!
We haven’t exactly spelled out a list for our pre-teen kinds, so we correct as we go (go to the pool, go to the sports team events, go to the grocery store …)
I’m trying to teach the kids (and myself) that our language should be God-honoring always. That’s a much higher bar than using a few specific choice words. So, if my kids say “darn,” “shoot,” “heck,” or “gosh,” I simply ask if God is being honored by their speech. I also try to help the kids understand that we dont expect that all other parents and kids at church will apply the principle in the same way as we have, and that that doesn’t make them any less saved by God’s grace.
For Beaner:
http://www.preachermike.com/2006/08/18/ordinary-radicals
(Really an amazing book. A lot to think about and act on in it.)
Thanks reJoyce!!! I totally forgot about that post - I even commented that I needed to read that book. Now i get to use my own words to convict me!
You’re welcomed, Beaner!
Thanks for sharing that story. That is one of the most beautiful things I have heard in a while, and its especially timely for me because I have recently been meditating and writing about hugs. It is great what we can learn from people who we often think need us to teach them.
We often say “no matter what I do, it won’t make a difference” after we have only considered two possibilities. We come to a door that doesn’t open if we push it and doesn’t open if we do the opposite and pull it. How often do we consider if we have the key, or if there is a button to push somewhere, or if someone stronger can pull it open, or if we can knock?
We can’t give up just because one strategy and its assumed opposite are both failures. Church needs ingenuity and diversity.
What an amazing story, Mike. Thank you for sharing it with us. I know one thing. The spoken word holds the power of life or of death. Adding a hug to words spoken - wow. Amazing woman. She is richly blessed. And I am greatly humbled.
Hi Scott,
I’m not comfortable with taking the poetic license approach to profanity. Expletives made up of of words about sex and bodily excretions do not have redeeming qualities. How much more inappropriate when those things are combined with the name of our Savior and his Father! That kind of language should not come from the lips of a Christian. And I don’t think the speaker gets a pass when that language is used as “art”.
Alan,
I understand. I too believe that a great deal of garbage is passed onto us via the “art” justification. However, Paul himself uses some very strong language when he talks about those who want the Greeks to be circumcized (he says that he hopes they cut their own ____s off) and he also calls his former accomplishments “manure”.
My point is simply that our comfort with our children telling us that they went “poo-poo” rather than using some other word doesn’t come from a difference in the “meanings” of the words–it comes from long-standing cultural associations that exist in our language and in our psyches. These things HAVE to be considered, but judging a man’s heart based purely on word choice is still judgement– and often times very much a mis-judgement.
Our language should build up and make truth stand out like a beacon. Paul does that–even when using some very harsh words.
Hi Scott,
I concede there is a distinction between using those words as expletives (devoid of their dictionary meanings) as opposed to using them in context as they are actually defined. I think the entirety of the former category is profane. There might be some cases in the latter category that would not be profane. I’m convinced that a lot of the common instances of the latter category are still inappropriate conversation (dirty jokes, sexual comments, ‘bathroom humor’, etc).
But how did the fellow react? inquiring minds …
I always liked the “seasoned with salt” line.
Paul used some pretty strong language at times to get his point across.
Yes, Roland — something about wishing they would “go the whole way and emasculate themselves” (Galatians 5:12). I can think of a few profane names I’d rather be called than have someone say THAT to me!
Mike, In my 20s I worked for MHMR and never a day went by that I didn’t say, “Man, I want to be like them.” No pretense just love. About 20 of my clients came to my wedding and hearing those “Beverlys” whispered as I walked down the aisle was priceless. I have a picture in my wedding album of me surrounded by these hearts that taught me so much.
Oh and by the way, you have talked about single parents lately and I thought I would hook you up with this blog written by this preacher in Hawaii. What he says is right on target from my own experience and those single parents I know…..www.beingselfish.com
Thanks for this post, Mike. It’s good timing for me, because I’ve been surrounded by such uses of God’s good name lately and have been struggling in how to respond.