Wouldn’t it be nice if the Don Imus fiasco brought a reduction of hate language (by all races) in our culture? I’m not holding my breath, but it’s worth hoping for.
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Chris and I are home alone this week while Diane is hugging little Reese in Houston.
Don’t worry about my son. He’s being well fed. I’m an expert at drive-through. (When it’s not baseball season, I’m actually a decent cook, but this week we have one practice and three games.)
There are a few things falling through the cracks, though. For example, Chris and I are neither one really telephone people. We don’t associate the sound of a phone ringing with the need to answer it. We assume people who really need us will call the cell phone. It was hard, however, looking at the blinking “39″ this morning, informing me that we have 39 messages on our answering machine.
With all the baseball, the city track meet, a little basketball at AHS, etc., I’m getting by with the help of a niece at ACU and a local brother-in-law and sister-in-law.
But again I’m wondering how you single parents do it? Surely you — as you juggle all the balls — are heroes among us.
My sister is a single parent, & yes, she’s a hero in our family. Her ex was totally absent from the kids lives, & she successfully raised them with God’s great love & help from family & friends. As she graduates her last child from ACU on May 12th, our family is so proud of her! She has a sparkly crown already, in our opinion!
Yes, single parents are truly the quiet, silent, unseen heroes among us.
Don’t be surprised if you don’t have too many responses to today’s entry, especially from single parents that can empathize with you. As you now know, they really don’t have much time to be blog hopping.
btw-let us not forget that among the ’single’ parents are the families of our deployed military personnel. Not only are they functioning as single parented families, but there is an extra level of stress….concern for their loved one’s safety and return home alive, whole, and complete.
I’m praying for the day that our churches’ awareness and assistance to single parented families is such that when you blog about the subject it becomes one of the most commented on subjects. These families so need our help. They need not only our prayers and good thoughts, but also our physical, financial, fellowship, and mentoring support.
I’m always thrilled when you bring these families to our attention. Bless you for your sensitivity to those that struggle as single parents!!
[I'm sure you and Chris will survive quite well. However, who knows if you will quickly recover from the "I want to go too" green hue you sport this week, and I'm not referring to poor nutritional habits during Diane's absence. LOL]
Our Sunday school class of about 25 families with little children has just one single parent in it (and one with a deployed spouse). I would love it if we had more, if the single parent would feel comfortable and safe and supported in an environment that is predominantly marrieds with children. In speaking with single parents about church and specifically about our class, the single parents often feel like outcasts, and cannot get over how different they feel from everyone else in that environment.
I am not blaming them in making that statement, I am blaming me for creating (or at least nurturing) an environment that makes them feel that way.
Oh, and about dinner? 677-3030
Amen. In the last 5 months and 3 days Pricilla and I have often wondered how someone can do this alone.
Being raised by a single parent, let me just say it was a red letter day to hit a fast food restaurant. Usually my dad made up bizarre recipes which were better fit for Fear Factor than a dinner table. Still, I know what a struggle it was for him and I’m sure I didn’t make it any easier. I’m pretty sure I’ll be done with all that rebelliousness by the time I’m forty.
As far as Imus is concerned, what I hate is the likelihood that this event will be the way these young women are identified- that this will be some marker against which the rest of their lives will be reflected. The tragedy of one idiot saying something has been so greatly compounded by all the coverage that I fear the latter will have more lasting detrimental effect than the former.
Single parents are to be highly commended and need to be fully supported by others in the church. I did it practically alone for many years and then on my own for four years after the terrible divorce and it’s not easy at all, but can be done.
In my case, I had lots of help from family members after I got out on my own and then Tom was of magnificent help.
Being a parent is a life long job from the time the child is born no matter how you look at it, I think, even after they are grown with families of their own, and a lot of people don’t seem to realize or appreciate that fact. Your role as a parent changes, but in some ways never goes away. ‘m still “Mom” to all of my kids, after all, and in times of greatest need. I think that’s the way it should be.
You have 39 messages on your answer machine? How on earth did you find an answer machine for a telephone that will even HOLD 39 messages? I want to know the brand name of it so we can get one! Not that I would ever let it get to 39, you understand, but I figure the way Tom thinks about electronics, he would think it was the greatest thing ever.
Cheers! & Blessings to you all today! Dee
I don’t think calling people idiots is helpful. All of us can think of a time we have said something incredibly stupid. Not only that but we all have a little more ugliness in our thoughts that we manage to not blurt out. I think the only way for what Mike suggested come true is if people become more Spirit filled. Less of self and more of Thee. Replace our own ugliness with the love of Chirst.
May the church be a safe place to fall. I pray that we will be a place where single families (single parents, military, widows, widowers,) find strength and the help they need. I know that we can learn from the darkness of the past and move forward in a new direction grace, healing, hope, acceptance, and love.
As for Imus, may we become more sensitive to racism and see people not as people but in open our eyes to the Spiritual see them as souls and show God’s love towards all men no matter what race they may be. I believe we as Americans should still have freedom of speech. I think I heard it the other day a law that should be passed would be the “Offended Law” which if you offend someone you can be held liable. As minister we don’t want that to happen. Think about it. Someone coming into the church or telling Christians you can’t tell someone that their lifestyle or what they did was a sin because that might offend them. May we have freedom of speach.
But let us love as Jesus loved. Let us show men the light. Let us lead all to the grace of our Lord and Savior.
My husband is deployed. We have two sons, 13 and 9.
It’s hard enough to be their mother, but having to be a pseudo-father is the hardest job. Puberty (the older) and tournament-team baseball (the younger) are kicking my butt, let me tell you.
Luckily, we have plenty of father figures to play catch, talk about girls, etc. It’s a pale substitute for their real daddy, but we’re playing the had we’ve been dealt as best we can.
May God bless you and your family, Lisa. I have seen up close how difficult it can be for families of deployed soldiers. You are a hero!
Mike, would saying “no” to one of those games be totally inappropriate? It seems like playing for 126 outs plus practice in one week seems to be a bit extreme for kids. (I am assuming 7 inning games.) If I am off-base on that thought, then have fun with it!
What Val said about the Imus deal. In the end I wonder what will really hurt those girls worse, Imus saying the awful thing or everyone repeating it over and over and over and making this story bigger than life.
Off subject, but ever since Terri dubbed you the “blogfather” I have had visions of you in a smoking jacket and pompador with smoke circling your head as your voice (but wraspy) reads to me these blogs you type in the “silent out loud” way that soapopera characters read letters. It’s just distracting. And funny.
Chris can live on FiberOne and guacamole….but maybe take out is better.
Lisa,
You and your family are in my prayers.
Maybe say a prayer for those musical groups that continually use those hateful lyrics in their songs. Then tell Al Sharpton to call for the closing of all the stores, selling vulgar hip hop songs.
SG - I see a “Blogfather” parody in the works for the next Zoe, don’t you???
…although one wishes it were only Imus, Val, who had said such things. He learned the phrase, sadly, from a pop and hip-hop culture that denigrates women as a matter of course. He’s guilty of a terrible offense, no question about that, but qb can’t help but wonder when the bigger fish (MSNBC has a vanishingly small market share) are going to feel the heat for the systemic, high-octane garbage they foist on our children.
Losing Imus from the airwaves, all things considered, isn’t much of a loss to the arena of political speech. qb guesses that one day Sharpton and Jackson are going to regret having spent so much of their finite public capital bringing down an insignificant voice, and a sympathetic liberal one at that. We can only stomach those two well-heeled, one-note, race-baiting bloviators for a little while, and then they just irritate us.
qb
Why it is ok for rappers to say what Imus can not.
“It’s a completely different scenario. [Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We’re talking about hos that’s in the ‘hood that ain’t doing (bleep), that’s trying to get a (bleep) for his money. These are two separate things.”
Snoop Dogg
Mike, you don’t like to answer the phone?
I’m reeling from the shock.
Atleast you have an AMAZING neice in town to help when called. Chris just called me to come “help” him watch The Office…so I’m headed out….
Single parenting is hard - so hard that over the years I’ve been in total despair more times than I can count. Making difficult decisions alone, trying to serve in the roles of both mother and father, being responsible either for doing (or delegating) everything that has to be done, never having a day off, not having anyone (living in my house) who is committed to supporting me, going to church classes and functions alone - - it can be a tough road. I love my friends, i love my children, I love my job, and I (generally) am satisfied with my life, but single parenthood is a challenge. I’ve come to believe, though, that it is no more challenging than a lot of other things in life, so I just deal with it every day and try not to let the difficult parts become the focus of my life. The emotional intimacy I experience with friends is a lifesaver. So is talking to God when things get bad.
Let’s hope Imus either resurfaces a totally new person (don’t bank on it) on another station, or goes away for good.
Mike - since you have so much free-time on your hands - I’d love to hear your take on “The Secret” if you have an inclination to post on that - thanks. Oprah has sent that book/DVD to the moon.
KentF - “Oprah has sent that book/DVD to the moon.”
This is just one example of the excessive influence and power Oprah wields over millions of people - which makes me very nervous, to say the least.
This particular book is a manual for 21st century New Agers. Ergo, her influence is hauling people by the millions away from the true Good News. How can that be a good thing???
Kathy, I disagree. It’s the people who follow Oprah as wild eyed zombies that is sad. you can’t blame someone for having influence or being a genius in marketing. You can blame the people who take whatever he/she says as gospel.
Roland, great comments.
Mike says, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the Don Imus fiasco brought a reduction of hate language (by all races) in our culture? I’m not holding my breath, but it’s worth hoping for.”
I respectfully disagree, in this sense: the way that Imus’s voice was stifled– through an all-out media attack, led by PC speech zealots– is one huge step towards an incredibly slippery slope. The Al Sharptons and Jessie Jacksons of the world now know that they can silence any voice they disagree with. Today, that voice belongs to Don Imus. One day soon, that voice may belong to Mike Cope.
At the very core of our nation’s free speech laws is the assumption that no person, nor group of persons, has the right to decide which speech should be protected, and which speech should be banned. It wasn’t too long ago that our forefathers fled a nation whose own version of the “PC Police” determined that certain Christian beliefs could not be spoken, for the sake of the “common good.” Shame on us for applauding any steps that would lead our nation down a similar path.
Roland, I see your point, equally I see her influence regarding New Age is just that, as much as our witness of the Good News influences those that hear us. Yes, rubber to road, it is the hearer’s decision to accept it or not. But mass hypnosis is not unheard of, turning the listeners into zombie followers.[Waco and Jonestown as just two examples] But the speaker has to decide to exert that influence over the audience, otherwise the subject wouldn’t come up.
A load of responsibility lays on Oprah’s shoulders for the stuff she supports and promotes. She knows the extent of her influence, so I’d say she can and should be held to accountability for the false teachings she promotes.
Among other things, she openly declares her long-term relationship with a man outside marriage, supporting a “marriage just doesn’t suit me” philosophy. Whether she likes it or not, she is a role model and not a very healthy one at that, at least imho.
Imus apologized repeatedly. No one reports that or either says its insincere. Hope no one is need of grace or mercy making these comments. One day it will come back to bite them in the ass.
Clint made a great point about rappers.
You don’t see Al Sharpton going after Snoop Dogg. Calvin Broadus (Snoop) is just as wrong as Imus but no one goes after him. This PC bullshit fest is one-sided at best.
Kathy, I can see your point as well. I think both are equally disturbing.
Phil, I understand where you are coming from however with free speech comes consequences. I don’t like one bit how it was done with Sharpton and Jackson however.
Fortunately for all of us, the thing that got Imus shut down was economic pressure from the private sector, not government fiat. The market worked very, very efficiently in this case, but censorship it ain’t. We must insist on understanding censorship to be government suppression of speech, not the actions of voluntary associations (corporations) exercising their prerogatives in response to market realities.
In other words, hand-wringing about “suppressing free speech” in the Imus case is totally misdirected. Imus has the same right to use offensive speech he had before; CBS and MSNBC just aren’t required to pay him to exercise it. It is as it should be.
qb
That should have read “obligated,” not “required.” qb
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
Spiderman
“Power … corrupt(s) … absolute power corrupts absolutely”
Lord Acton
Mike check THIS out. It is a live cam of a Bald Eagle nest at Norfolk Botanical Garden. I watched them wake up this morning, cool. Thanks candy.
Clint - thank you for the link! My children & I loved that!!!!
QB is right. At the end of the day, the Don Imus thing was about money. He called some girls “nappy-headed hos” and crossed a modern line. In response segments of people called his comments “racially and sexually charged.” In this culture, that is it. A white male CANNOT cross that line. And because of that his sponsors pulled the plug. When the money was gone, Imus was gone. It hasn’t happened to Stern because the money is there. It hasn’t happened to Snoop because the money is there.
This won’t happen to Mike Cope because his medium is not tied to money. If there is no money there won’t be an outrage.
Sharpton et al don’t go after Snoop and other rappers because they know they can’t win that fight. They go after Imus because they can, and did, win that fight. At the end of the day, they know that their power-base is probably more dedicated to rap than to their activism.
aaaaaaMEN!!! Now that I have a child, I have a whole new respect for moms and dads who parent on their own. That takes SKILLS!
Hub- Sharpton & Jackson don’t go after Snoop and other rappers not because they can’t win, but because they are on the same team. They’re not interested in truth, fairness, or justice. Their only interest is self promotion.
I don’t think this has anything to do with PC run amuck, but rather the liberals in the media, particularly at CBS and MSNBC, excercising their power to pander to the black vote. Although IMUS is far from conservative, he’s an “off the wall” liberal nut. He’s not part of their base, therefore, they have no qualms about sacrificing him at the alter of those racebaiting, shake-down artists. Every now and then, they have to throw Sharpton and Jackson a bone, to keep the black vote in their back pocket.
Lord, have mercy.
Hmmmm…..Troy, I think I disagree with some of what you said, but I don’t know these folks well enough to judge. I still think it comes down to the only relevant color in America…Green.
Hub- You’re right about the color green with regard to Imus. But Imus is really not the issue here. Do you think Sharpton or Jackson give a rip about Imus, or what he says? I guarentee that neither have Imus on their radio preset buttons. Imus simply handed them a golden opportunity to get to, and “shake-down” CBS, MSNBC, CNN… Through the slow news week and the mishandling by Imus himself, this story grew legs and CBS had no choice but to throw Imus overboard. They gave Sharpton and Jackson their power, and now they don’t want it used against them. They have to appease them to accomplish their greater goals.
Sharpton said,”This is only the beginning. This must be a walk that CBS does now. It must be a walk that others will do. Then we must have a broad discussion on what’s permitted and what’s not permitted.”
Jackson said about MSNBC, CNN.. that they are “all white, all night.” The media is trying to keep the focus on Imus, while Sharpton and Jackson are trying just as hard to focus on the media.
I don’t know Sharpton or Jackson either. I only know their background and the racist hate speech that they spew every time they get a chance. They have hijacked the perception of black people in this country and are pitting both sides against the middle to make a name for themselves. MLK must be spinning in his grave.
a camera…a stage…a microphone…it changes people and sometimes they get caught…
so easy to have such a bigger than life example of hate but I have seen much smaller examples which have caused tidal waves in hearts in the church these last few months..I have been disappointed and disillusioned .
so easy to pick out hate in others…
what if we all were on camera or on stage or our unguarded words were blasted over the airwaves for all to hear?…
troy..I got to say that maybe sharpton and jackson come from some stuff that you aren’t aware of ..strong strong words against them…are you fighting fire with fire?
To the contrary, I believe I’m fighting fire with water. These two men are responsible for perpetuating the victom mentality of blacks in this country for their own personal gain. To ignore this is to fight fire with gasoline.
I’m sure that they do come from some stuff that I’m not aware of. We all do. But, as a noted evangelist once said,”Part of the Christian religion is confrontation!” Jesus and the apostles, were not afraid to confront people who were in the wrong. They pushed them to the point that it costs some of them their lives. I’ve seen good men, who would, and have put their necks on the line, for the cause of Christ, be ridiculed and demeaned on this site for honest, strong-held beliefs. At the same time, others are applauded for drifting with the wind and floating with the current. It’s nausiating.
so case and point I confronted you and sharpton and jackson confront racism and in their purpose they make huge mistakes and so do you and so do i..
peace
Interesting that this particular entry was supposed to be a blog column about single parenting… anybody out there dealing with it besides me??
CK…i am …email me..bnicemann@hotmail.com
As a single Father for the last ten years, (I got custody of my son ten years ago when he was six now he’s sixteen) I’ve seen problems of all kind. The worst thing is as a single father, I am practically alone in so far as shared experince is concerned. I would like to start a site with blogs from single parents sharing their concerns.
Mike,
It’s been a while since I read your blog, so I’m commenting on this a little late… as a single parent of 2 years, I don’t think we think too much about HOW we do it; we just DO it. I’ve said several times in Covenant Group that I don’t notice how hard I work or how tired I am until I get the rare day or even rarer weekend off. Life can be very exhausting.
On the other hand, I don’t ever want people to think of me as a victim. God has blessed me beyond measure with my little one, and it is my pleasure and honor to raise him in a manner that is pleasing to Him.