I grew up with a cool aunt. She was about eight years older than me, and I adored her.
We lived across the pasture from each other and often I made my way under the apple trees to see if she was in.
She always had time for a Monopoly game, and she never tried to hurry the game or rip me off with cutthroat trades. A couple times when I made a bad roll that would have wiped me out, she let me roll again.
She never got tired of sledding down the hill or of playing hide-and-seek.
She took my cousins and me to 007 movies — perhaps a little bit before we were old enough. I still owe her.
In the summer of 1968, just as I was turning twelve she and my grandmother took me to Chicago, playing tunes and preaching liberal politics the whole way. (Can you think of anything significant in Chicago in the summer of 1968?) Once we got there they took me to Wrigley Field to the Cubs-Cardinals game. And when they saw how much fun I had, they took me back the next day.
She decided that her name should be spelled Cathy instead of Kathy. That seemed bold and against-the-grain to me.
I was immersed as a child in her attention and love.
As I remember that attention and love, it makes me sad for all the children who don’t have cool uncles and aunts.
But it also opens up numerous possibilities for the church. I’ve seen how the church can provide spiritual uncles and aunts, grandmas and grandpas for children who need to be the focus of someone’s attention and love. I see it when a university student becomes involved in a Boys/Girls Club; when a high school student forms a friendship with someone much younger; when people who are retired volunteer to read at the elementary schools.
Anyone else have a cool aunt or uncle . . . or someone who, perhaps in the community of faith, became like an aunt or uncle?
My mom’s youngest sister is only 12 years older than me, so she always seemed more like a big sister than an aunt. When she lived in Montgomery while still in college, she had her very own apartment (which was very cool) and she’d let me and my sister spend the night many times. We’d make pizza and cookies and watch movies or chill listening to Beatles records (her favorite). She has since lived in New Orleans, Chicago and now New York, and is still extremely cool!
I’ve also been blessed with some spiritual “aunts”, women who model to me what it means to depend on God and walk in His ways, even when those ways don’t make sense. I hope that I can follow in their footsteps and become an “aunt” to other women in some way.
My Aunt was in college when I was born. She had her own apartment & I used to visit her there. She’d let me help her dry her clothes in the “magic dryers”. They were magic because money would always appear in them & I’d get to keep it!
Whe my brother & I were a little bit older, she started a Halloween sleepover for us complete with a trip to the Pumpkin Patch, carving pumpkins & making pumpkin seeds. Then we’d watch a scary movie (like ‘Silver Bullet’) followed up by a funny one so we could get to sleep. My Aunt also introduced me to ‘007′ movies (way too early too!)
Then she got married & had kids (like a grownup!) & wasn’t as cool anymore.
My aunt Berta was 17 years older than my mom. She had lived through so much sorrow, but she had such a joyous heart. I would stay with her in the summer. She was a maid at a large hotel. Her husband had been a jeweler and had died of a brain tumor. They had no children, but cared for her mom and dad and her mentally challenged brother and sister. But she had such a wonderful sense of humor. I remember her coming home from work on a hot evening in PA. and her loading everyone in the car and going to the Dairy Queen. I remember us giggling in bed listening to the familar noises outside and inside, and praying together. I’d wake up in the morning and she would be gone to work.
Being an Air Force brat I didn’t grow up around my Aunts and Uncles but when we visited it was always fun. One Aunt owned a ceramic shop and she would let us make our own or pick one already made to paint. My cousins, me and my brother would go play in the creek behind the shop when painting no longer held our attention. An Uncle was always good for a game and when I got older he owned a couple of horses, he would always have time to take me for a ride. For a time I lived near enough to him that he would let me come ride whenever I wanted even if by myself. The rule was I could ride by myself if I could catch and saddle the horse by myself.
I now try to be the Cool Cousin to the grandchildren of my Aunt mentioned above. When I lived near them I would let them come to my apartment to have sleepovers with their friends. I always went to their games and got to know their buddies. When I moved I think their friends were as sad as my cousins. This weekend I get to go on a Spring Break trip with them and I am sooooo excited about getting to see them again.
I attended a small Church of Christ growing up in a small town (100 was a good Sunday in our town of 1,400.) James Fiveash, the minister while I was in junior high, taught me more by how he treated his family than anything he could have said from the pulpit or in my Sunday School class.
He also played baseball with me and his young son practically every Sunday afternoon. Also, as an avid runner as a kid, he would pick me up to go to our track (which was actually loop around a cemetary) and he and his wife would walk while I ran laps and their young son rode his bike. We did this nearly every weekday afternoon.
In the 7th grade, with my mother’s permission, he signed me out of school early one day and drove me nearly an hour to Nashville to buy a nice Rawlings baseball glove. I had my best year of Little League that summer.
I’m 40-years-old, and I still use it today with my boys. In fact, I used it last night to coach my 4-year-old’s tee-ball team, then shag flys with my 9-year-old after that. I try not to cling to many earthy possessions, but that glove isn’t going anywhere until I’m gone!
I had a cool uncle, I remember once when he came home with half his ear bitten off after he and my grandfather had been in a bar fight. They really tore the place up. I remember thinking how tuff he was. Oh and he was a liberal too.
I grew up with a cool adopted aunt - my mom’s best friend Charlene. She would let us sleep over at her house when we went to visit my grandparents, and she always sent the coolest birthday cards and presents. She had a huge dog named Allie and a fantastic sense of humor. I don’t get to see her too often any more, but I’m so thankful for her.
You are so right about “Aunt/Uncle” relationships outside the family. My mom died just after my 5th birthday and I remember some great ladies from our church stepping into that gap. I will forever be grateful for women like Carol Stumpff and Joyce Moseley. I talked to Carol just a few weeks ago- still with a lump in my throat after 30 years. Sadly, I have lost touch with Joyce. She was from Wichita. Anyone heard of her?
Mike, were you one of the “Chicago Eight” that summer of 68?
Unfortunately my aunts weren’t that cool. I did have one tell me that she would string me up by my ankles and hang me in the closet if I didn’t make my bed in the morning, this was during a time that my mom and dad were separated and we moved to Australia to live with my grandmother, where my aunt and my 2 cousins were living due to a divorce. I was running late for school (6th grade) and asked my mom to make my bed for me, she was happy to do it, but later out of my mom’s earshot my aunt had a different take on the situation. I made my bed with the fear of my aunt in my head. Months later after carrying around this threat, we were taking off from the airport, safely in an airplane and I blurted out what my aunt had said to me. My mother laughed, and told me that my aunt had told that to all of her siblings when they were growing up. That was her standard threat I guess. 8 years ago my aunt who was a gymnastics coach gave up gymnastic front row seats to the Olympics in Sydney to fly to Arizona and nurse my dying mother in her last 2 weeks of cancer. She was redeemed in my eyes.
You went to Wrigley as a kid and still wound up as a fan of the most evil team in baseball? What gives?
A friend of mine who is a Cards fan is going with me next month to see the Cards/Cubs at Wrigley. Can’t wait. Go Cubbies!!
For a little over a year in college, my Aunt Paula and Uncle Martin allowed me to live with them while I was attending ACU. My cousin, LeAnn also lived with them at that time; and they still had one daughter in high school, Lindsey, who is now an ACU student. Aside from being the “cool aunt and uncle,” their willingness to allow me to live there rent free gave me the opportunity to work at the N.10th and Treadaway Church for almost two years. I learned so much about ministering in many different ways (a small church struggling to survive, a church population that was formed by an ethnic group different from my own, a different style of worship and preaching than I as used to, etc.). I probably would have quit ACU after 2 years if it had not been for Aunt Paula and Uncle Martin. The only bad thing was that when they moved from Abilene to Buffalo Gap, they did not find a house big enough for me and my cousin, LeAnn to move with them! The nerve.
Hi Mike~I’m new to your comments section but have been one of your regular readers for several months. May I give you a slightly different take on this scenario? My preacher husband and I moved to central Ohio nearly 11 years ago when I was three WEEKS away from giving birth to our first child. The secretary at our new church home took me under her wing, knowing that both mine and my husband’s families were hundreds of miles away. As soon as our son was born, she became “Grandma Phyllis” and has kept that designation through three more children. She loves my four children just as though they were her very own grandchildren, and has been a constant source of encouragement and support to me over the years. But as if that weren’t enough, my children also have an “Aunt Lynn” and “Aunt Pam” at church. All of these women saw a young mom who needed encouragement, advice, mentoring, love . . . and I can’t think of a better way to offer those things to me than to love my children as unconditionally as they do!
I had the greatest aunt in the world! She was single for many many years, so I was her “kid.” She would spend summers with our family and she would bring home all of the animals from her science class. We had pet skunks, lizards, birds, rabbits, and even a pet goat. She married at the age of 50 to a man who loved everyone as much as she did. When my kids were young we were blessed to live in the same town and they got to experience their love and all of her rabbits (which ran loose in the backyard). I was fortunate to grow up with a Mom and a Mom substitute who filled in after my Mom died. I sent a copy of this article to my youngest daughter & told her she is a cool aunt!
My mom’s sister, Becky, is a cool aunt. She has weekend season seats at Busch Stadium, and is the reason I’m a Cardinals fan today. When we were kids, she always remembered what we collected, and made sure we got some of it for our birthdays/Christmas. She played Atari with us. She had a swimming pool. When she got married at the tender age of 43, all 5 of us nieces and nephews were so pleased to be in attendance, and we love our new uncle, Eric. I love my aunt Becky.
Thanks for this great post, Mike, and inviting us to relive wonderful memories.
I had a favorite cousin who is probably 15 years older than me. His name is Dennis, but my sisters and I always called him Denny. He was into electronic gadgets. He didn’t just enjoy them, he knew how to take them apart and fix them! Back in the late 70’s and early 80’s that put him on the cutting edge. We thought he was a miracle worker. He would show us his R/C airplanes and how they worked. When my sister’s “Merlin” electronic trivia game broke, we kept it for months so we could bring it to good ole Denny to fix for us (which he did in like 10 minutes - WOW!!!) He always had the energy to wrestle with me, and usually let me win. I loved shooting him with the toy gun my Aunt Marie kept in the toy basket for me and my sisters. He would show me his bellybutton, and say that was where I hit him. (I know - these days such imaginary gun play is horrifying, but somehow then it was just really good fun.)
The coolest thing Denny would do was when he taught my older sister and me how to open the garage door using “magic.” He would get us in the driveway and tell us to close our eyes and concentrate on the door opening. Presto! The door would begin to open, powered only by our magic thoughts. We were so amazed! Every time we would visit, our first words as we came inside would be, “DENNY, LET’S GO OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR WITH MAGIC!!!” He must have had us going for three or four years before my sister finally peeked and saw the real source of the magic - a remote control garage door opener. Oh, the bliss of being young and naive.
With all the fun memories of my cool cousin Denny, what I most appreciate is that he took the time to make us feel special. That’s what really made him so cool. He invited us into his world, and entered into ours, and I always felt so special. As the years have gone by and I’m all grown up, I have been grateful for the opportunities God has given me to step in as an adult and help other young people feel special. The kids at our church camp (www.campsmilingacres.com) who have enjoyed me as the fun, crazy guy at camp who is there for them in both the fun and the serious moments really should thank my cousin Denny. He taught me how to be a grown-up and a kid at the same time in ways that make a difference for young people desperately needing someone to make them feel special.
Thanks, Denny.
I wasn’t real close to any of my aunts and uncles growing up except one. My mom’s brother is older than her, but at the time, he was single, and would come see us whenever he could. He was a lot of fun, and he loved to scare me. I was so jealous when he finally got married. I haven’t seen him a several years, but i will never forget the memories.
I have a cool aunt! She’s my only aunt. She always came through with the best gift or that extra special outfit when the pickings were slim around my house. She’s always been there for me. She was there for the births of my babies. Kolby once told her teacher she had three grandmothers, naming my aunt as one. When I was little I wanted to grow up and be just like my aunt. Now that I’m grown, I still want to be like her.
My sister is also a really cool aunt. She gives my kids all things current and cool. She sends them postcards, brings them trinkets from all her many travels, and takes them on aunt dates when she is home.
I’m hoping for the day my sister settles and gives me the opportunity to be a really cool aunt!
I had great aunts that were like grandmothers, along with my two real grandmothers. That was kind of nice, especially at Christmas….
I have a set of twin Aunts. One is repressed, depressed, and Southern Baptist. The other smokes, cusses, drives fast cars and I adore her.
As a child when I was constantly in trouble, she was on my side (if not implicated herself). When very few of my mother’s family came to my wedding, she was there. When the family was scandalized by my genealogical discoveries, she was thrilled!
The cold rainy day I buried my wife, she held my hand and we shared deep loss (her oldest son had died years before).
She is the best, and I love her, and she knows it!
“preaching liberal politics the whole way.”
Mike, I thought your post was about love, not tortue!!
I have a very cool aunt/uncle combo that frequent this site very often. Being the only relatives with a pool made them quite the hit growing up. Our conversations seem infrequent these days, but I think and pray for them quite frequently. Every once in a while I get a nice suprise when the cellphone caller ID “Uncle Kenny” pops up. It’s usually when they are driving to TX or AR. These days the draw isn’t so much the pool, as much as the evening poolside chats we have had.
My one and only aunt, Aunt Ginger, was so cool. She was 8 years older than my mom but she acted like the younger sister. Some of my fondest memories of Aunt Ginger are of numerous shopping trips. We loved to talk about everything. She was a great cook. She loved beautiful things–beach glass and crystals, kaleidoscopes, the beach, art. She introduced me to River Dance and I got to take her to see Michael Flatley in Lord of the Dance. We had a great time that night. We went to a Monet and Picasso art exhibit together. I always felt like I had a lot more in common with her than I did my mother. She was a free thinker and was very well read. She had style and loved jewelry. She got that from her dad. They both loved “sparkle”. She died of ovarian cancer after a year-long fight almost six years ago and I still really miss her. It was a great joy to inherit some of the jewelry collection, even a pair of earrings she bought when I was with her one time. Her husband is almost 90 and he is a favorite as well. Uncle Lloyd and I have some really deep philosophical discussions and I love his quick, dry wit. He’s the ultimate host when you are a guest in his home, always has been. My aunt and uncle were both great role models for “free” Christian living. They never were bound up in the bondage of conservativism in the coC. They attended North Richland Hills in Ft. Worth. I always got the feeling from my conservative parents that they weren’t too sure that Aunt Ginger and Uncle Lloyd were okay in the “going to heaven” department. I have no doubts that I’m going to be spending a long, long time with both of them some day, admiring those crystal seas and golden streets and praising the Lord.
I have an uncle that’s only 5 years older than me. He’s STILL cool. We are actually closer in age than I am to both my sister and brother (they are 8 and 10 years younger than me.) Grandma and Grandpa lived 11 hours away during our growing up years which meant that when I went for a visit I got my money’s worth & got to stay for weeks. It was better than having any big brother I could have dreamt of because he had all the rights and priveledges that the YOUNGEST child always gets. His oldest brother (my Uncle Roger) was 21 years old when he was born. So….he was the youngest by A LOT. I don’t want to say that he was spoiled because that would send the wrong message. But….he had a motorcycle at the age of 14 that I was constantly on the back of (I have a muffler scar to prove it after getting off on the wrong side), and had a car BEFORE he had a driver’s license. He also had a pilot’s license & an airplane in the pasture behind their house. He let me go swimming with him (which was HUGE b/c I wasn’t allowed to “mixed swim”) and let me in his fort in the woods and shoot his bee-bee gun anytime I wanted. I even got to go on a Little League trip to Altanta with his team and got to see Hank Aaron play. My most vivid memories from childhood were spent with him. I could go on for days. The most meaningful part of each memory, however, was his attitude towards me. He was never embarrassed of me, he always looked out for me, he always included me, he never made me feel like a child, he never got frustrated with me. All of this as a 14-year-old boy to a silly 9-year-old girl. I’m sure I had to be annoying and burdensome at times. He NEVER let me know. Not once. No exceptions. Unbelievable. I cannot say the same for myself with people I deal with on a daily basis. If I could only treat those who are spiritually younger than myself with the same respect and patience as my Uncle Jerry showed me, I would be a much better ambassador for Christ in this world. Mike….thank you for helping me make that connection.