Coming to Abilene for the Holidays?

Some of my favorite Christmas gifts when I was young included: an NFL electronic football game (perhaps it wouldn’t compare favorably with a Wie), Cowboy pistols and holster (apparently an annual gift from my maternal grandfather), a 007 spy kit, a football uniform (with shoulder pads and helmet), and my brother’s rock-em-sock-em robot. There were also the wonderful pairs of boxing gloves my parents gave my brother and me one Christmas. Was that a good idea? But it worked — at least it did for me since I was 4 1/2 years older. Dad was the problem. He’d been a Missouri Golden Gloves champion as a young man, and boxing him was NOT FAIR.

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Donald Trump looks small when he’s mean and vindictive. No defense for Rosie here, but there is irony in having Mr. Trump as the moral compass for young women who stray.

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Here’s my “If You Come to Abilene for Christmas” guide.

Bar-b-que?

1. Sharon’s (across from Towne Crier). Now our favorite bar-b-que place in town. Be sure to get the corn.

2. Betty Rose’s. I like the smaller version on S. 7th. Maybe it’s because it’s so close to the office. The friendliness of the people there matches the excellent food.

3. Joe Allen’s. Not quite the same ambiance since they left the shack on Treadaway . . . but still good.

4. Harold’s. Two kinds of sauce: “hot” and “d——— hot.” Believe the sign before you lather it on. I haven’t been since . . . yesterday.

5. Harlow’s. NW side of town.

Mexican/Tex-Mex?

1. Alfredo’s. It’s the only place in town Eddie Parish would get Mexican food. (That’s saying a lot since Eddie and Judy’s kitchen WAS the best place in town to eat Mexican food.) I will vouch for the guacamole. I’ve made sure to taste-test it scores of times before offering you, my dear readers, this recommendation. I did it for you.

2. Los Arcos. Randy Harris has made this a cult favorite. He ought to eat free there. They actually had to add on a side room. We call it the Harris Fajita Room.

3. Abuelo’s. “Los Mejores de la Casa.” About the best meal in town — though pricey by Abilene standards (about the price of a bagel and OJ in NYC).

4. Pappasito’s. I’d list it first, but it’s a little ways out of town. (2 hours and 15 minutes to the east, including a bathroom break at Love’s.)

5. Rosa’s. This is a sentimental favorite. We’ve crammed 30 people in there many times and laughed ourselves silly. If you go on Tuesday, you’ll be joined by a couple hundred ACU and Hardin-Simmons students for the Taco Tuesday special.

Oriental?

1. Szechuan. The list stops here. It was — I kid you not — named in some list of the best 100 oriental restaurants in the United States. Unfortunately, they’re closed right now for remodeling. Maybe you’ll no longer have to go at 10:45 a.m. for lunch just to get a table.

Steaks?

Hey, this is steak country. You can’t go wrong. The chains are good: Texas Roadhouse, Logan’s (so I’ve heard — we haven’t been yet), and Outback. But I’d stick with a local: either Joe Allen’s or Lytle Land and Cattle.

My favorite place to get a steak is HEB. It’s eight minutes from their meat market to my grill.