Archive for December, 2006

When Is a Large Really a Medium?

I’ve written several times about how Pappasito’s is our favorite family restaurant. So many fun family memories through the years. Killer fajitas.

But we’ve had a theory for a long time that the quesadillas are the same size whether you order a large or a medium. The difference, we’ve thought, is that they cut it in six pieces instead of eight and charge you $2.50 more.

So we tested this theory this week with another wonderful fajita meal at Pappasito’s in Ft. Worth. We ordered both a large and a medium quesadilla. They are EXACTLY the same size. Here’s the photo of our large quesadilla stacked on top of our medium one:

pappasito's

This seems slightly dishonest to me. When you order a large pizza, you assume it will be larger than the small or the medium — not just cut into more (and therefore thinner) slices. You would probably assume the same thing when ordering a large quesadilla rather than a medium one. You assume that the extra $2.50 is for more. But it isn’t.

This opens up lots of possibilities for churches with Pappasito’s-inspired wording:

Two morning services: an early one and a late one. They’re both at 10:00, but one is in the sanctuary and one in the fellowship hall.

Two types of assemblies: one contemporary and one traditional. They’re exactly the same except that one has bright lighting and the other dim lighting.

There are endless possibilities.

(I know, I know . . . I need to get back to work.)

Best and Worst Role Models

This AP-AOL News poll was released yesterday:

Worst role models:
1. Britney Spears (29%)
2. Paris Hilton (18%)
3. Mel Gibson (12%)
4. Tom Cruise (9%)
5. Michael Richards (6%)

Best role models:
1. Oprah (29%)
2. Michael J. Fox (23%)
3. George Clooney (12%)
4. Angelina Jolie (8%)

Biggest villains:
1. George Bush (25%)
2. Osama bin Laden (8%)
3. Saddam Hussein (6%)
4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (5%)
5. Kim Jong II (2%)
6. Donald Rumsfeld (2%)

Biggest heroes:
1. George Bush (13%)
2. Soldiers in Iraq (6%)
3. Oprah Winfrey (3%)
4. Barack Obama (3%)
5. Jesus Christ (3%)
6. Bono (2%)

The truth is that most of us don’t live in the People Magazine world. Our biggest heroes were people we know who’ve navigated 2006 with courage, faith, and compassion.

- - - -

I enjoyed these “Resolutions We’d Like to See” for 2007 in USA Today:

“Use my head, not lose my head.” - Zinedine Zidane (French soccer star)

“Get a decent haircut and not blow up the world.” - Kim Jong II

“Visit Auschwitz and the Holocaust Museum.” - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

“Ignore Donald Trump.” - Rosie O’Donnell

“Ignore Rosie O’Donnell.” - Donald Trump

“Wear underpants.” - Britney Spears

“Retire gracefully after my 754th home run.” - Barry Bonds

“Play golf left-handed, to give others a chance.” - Tiger Woods

“Shut my mouth and catch the d——– ball.” - Terrell Owens

“Stop trying to tell jokes.” - John Kerry

“Stick to telling jokes.” - Michael Richards

“Be The Listener before being The Decider.” - President Bush

“Aim before I fire.” - Dick Cheney

“Augment wonky policy prescriptions with personal style.” - Hilary Clinton

“Augment personal style with wonky policy prescriptions.” - Barack Obama

“Blame America second.” - Hugo Chavez

President Ford

“I have not sought this enormous responsibility, but I will not shirk it.”

The quote could be from Bilbo Baggins. But it wasn’t. It was Gerald Ford. August 9, 1974.

I’ve always admired this man, who is, of course, the only President of the United States who was never elected as either President or VP.

It’s hard to picture him without thinking of Chevy Chase and Saturday Night Live.

But he was a person I always admired.

My senior year of high school, ‘73-’74, was such a turbulent time in our country. The headlines for a few years had been full of Vietnam, Spiro Agnew, Watergate, My Lai, and Richard Nixon. When Gerald Ford was sworn in, he said with a quiet assurance, “Our long national nightmare is over.”

In the summer of ‘74, it didn’t matter that occasionally he’d bumble a few words or hit a golf shot into the crowd. It mattered that he was a genuinely good man who seemed like he’d look straight into the cameras and tell you the truth.

Top Sports Events of 2006

Here are the top five sports events of this year. Of course, it’s my list. Yours might be a little different.

5. The Texas Longhorns, led by an unstoppable Vince Young, won the national championship by defeating USC in the Rose Bowl.

4. The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series. Take the whole Yankees starting line-up. Give me Albert Pujols.

3. The Lincoln Longhorns won the AISD 7th grade boys basketball championship despite giving up lots of size to most other middle schools.

2. The Key City junior league all-star team won district and then sectionals, earning a trip to Waco.

1. Jason McElwain, who is autistic, finally got into a game after serving for two seasons as a basketball manager for Athena high School and scored 20 points in the last four minutes. As the father of a child who was mentally challenged, I have to make this my #1 sports event of the year.

All right — your list may be different. Others?

Snow-less Ohio

Merry Christmas from a snow-less Ohio. Yesterday, right after our Christmas service at Highland, we scooted over to DFW and had a late flight into Cleveland. Then on to Cuyahoga Falls. Here is the website for the two ski resorts just 15 minutes from my in-laws — the website bearing the bad news that there will be no skiing this Christmas!

Take time to reflect today on the astonishing news that God has come himself to rescue the world. Blessings, my friends.

“Rachel Weeping for Her Children”

Please pray for me tomorrow (Saturday). I’ll be leaving early to go to Muleshoe, Texas, to do the funeral for a 19-year-old member of Highland whose family lives there.

The Sheets family is an amazing bunch. Kyle and Bernita had ten children. Tyler, whose funeral I’ll be doing, was the sixth.

Highland has remained something of a home base for the Sheets even after all these years. They left when Kyle was about 40 for him to go to medical school in Galveston. He now is a family physician in Muleshoe.

These are incredible kids — full of a passion for Christ. I know of at least one time the whole family went on a mission trip together to Africa.

It will be a blessing — albeit a painful one — to sit with the parents and the nine children tomorrow morning to listen to them talk about their son and brother. Please pray for me to have the composure to speak words of comfort and hope at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon.

Those of you who have a Facebook account can search for him at ACU and see many touching pictures of their family, including several of Tyler with his younger siblings from Tuesday.

Coming to Abilene for the Holidays?

Some of my favorite Christmas gifts when I was young included: an NFL electronic football game (perhaps it wouldn’t compare favorably with a Wie), Cowboy pistols and holster (apparently an annual gift from my maternal grandfather), a 007 spy kit, a football uniform (with shoulder pads and helmet), and my brother’s rock-em-sock-em robot. There were also the wonderful pairs of boxing gloves my parents gave my brother and me one Christmas. Was that a good idea? But it worked — at least it did for me since I was 4 1/2 years older. Dad was the problem. He’d been a Missouri Golden Gloves champion as a young man, and boxing him was NOT FAIR.

- - - -

Donald Trump looks small when he’s mean and vindictive. No defense for Rosie here, but there is irony in having Mr. Trump as the moral compass for young women who stray.

- - - -

Here’s my “If You Come to Abilene for Christmas” guide.

Bar-b-que?

1. Sharon’s (across from Towne Crier). Now our favorite bar-b-que place in town. Be sure to get the corn.

2. Betty Rose’s. I like the smaller version on S. 7th. Maybe it’s because it’s so close to the office. The friendliness of the people there matches the excellent food.

3. Joe Allen’s. Not quite the same ambiance since they left the shack on Treadaway . . . but still good.

4. Harold’s. Two kinds of sauce: “hot” and “d——— hot.” Believe the sign before you lather it on. I haven’t been since . . . yesterday.

5. Harlow’s. NW side of town.

Mexican/Tex-Mex?

1. Alfredo’s. It’s the only place in town Eddie Parish would get Mexican food. (That’s saying a lot since Eddie and Judy’s kitchen WAS the best place in town to eat Mexican food.) I will vouch for the guacamole. I’ve made sure to taste-test it scores of times before offering you, my dear readers, this recommendation. I did it for you.

2. Los Arcos. Randy Harris has made this a cult favorite. He ought to eat free there. They actually had to add on a side room. We call it the Harris Fajita Room.

3. Abuelo’s. “Los Mejores de la Casa.” About the best meal in town — though pricey by Abilene standards (about the price of a bagel and OJ in NYC).

4. Pappasito’s. I’d list it first, but it’s a little ways out of town. (2 hours and 15 minutes to the east, including a bathroom break at Love’s.)

5. Rosa’s. This is a sentimental favorite. We’ve crammed 30 people in there many times and laughed ourselves silly. If you go on Tuesday, you’ll be joined by a couple hundred ACU and Hardin-Simmons students for the Taco Tuesday special.

Oriental?

1. Szechuan. The list stops here. It was — I kid you not — named in some list of the best 100 oriental restaurants in the United States. Unfortunately, they’re closed right now for remodeling. Maybe you’ll no longer have to go at 10:45 a.m. for lunch just to get a table.

Steaks?

Hey, this is steak country. You can’t go wrong. The chains are good: Texas Roadhouse, Logan’s (so I’ve heard — we haven’t been yet), and Outback. But I’d stick with a local: either Joe Allen’s or Lytle Land and Cattle.

My favorite place to get a steak is HEB. It’s eight minutes from their meat market to my grill.

Peanut Brittle Day . . . and An Evangelical’s Lament

From my mom’s newspaper column:

Today was peanut brittle-making day at this household. It’s a tradition.

Every year the Runner says, “Well, I guess I’ll make peanut brittle today.” I make a flying trip to the store for all that stuff that is not normally in our cabinets – raw peanuts, corn syrup, coconut (for the one batch with coconut added), margarine (well, I usually have that but not always). Years ago his mother showed him how to make this Christmas treat and I don’t believe in all the years he’s been doing it he has ever had a failure at it.

First, we get out every pan in the kitchen, including all the mixing bowls, measuring cups and measuring spoons.

I used to stay around to offer advice. This is not, you may realize by now, my project. I’d say, “You better get that off of there. It’s going to burn.” “It’s not going to burn,” he’d reply. And it never did.

Or – “The peanuts aren’t done yet.” He’d reply, “They’re done.” And they were.

Who am I to know? I have never made a batch in my life. But I am an aficionado and his greatest fan. He has realized through the years that not only do I not make peanut brittle – I do not clean up the kitchen. That would include – every pan, bowl, measuring spoon and cup in the kitchen, the stove, the sink and the floor. It is a very messy job.

Now, after only 51 years, he has become self-sufficient and cleans it himself. So, this morning, getting back from my second run to the grocery store. (I only got enough corn syrup for four batches and he decided to make five) I asked, “Did you remember this is the ‘off’ year? No one is coming for Christmas. We cannot eat 10 pounds of peanut brittle.”

“If I make it, they will come,” he replied.

And so, he began, cooking the first part of water, syrup and sugar until the hard ball stage, measuring out all the ingredients while it cooked. Then he would add the peanuts and cook them – each batch – to perfection. Quickly he would pour in the margarine, the vanilla and the baking soda, stirring carefully so it wouldn’t spill over – a very big potential mess, as
you might guess. Then into the greased cookie pans.

Each batch was wonderful. I did manage to arrive just in time to give my opinion each time by sampling the brittle. Soon we had pans of the hardened candy all over the kitchen.

Then it was time to get out all the Tupperware bowls we own and begin to fill them, cleaning up each little crumb along the way – by eating it, of course.

Then the first ones came. Two granddaughters arrived. One gave her approval. The other declined to try. She only likes pecan brittle, which is usually the last batch made. He omitted that, bowing to our small crowd this year. (He certainly had plenty of corn syrup, as I made sure on the second run to the grocery store that we didn’t run out. I’ll be making pecan pies all year. I don’t know what else to do with it.)

By the time we put it away, we only had two (very large) covered bowls full. We had certainly done our part to make sure it wasn’t wasted. Even the dog enjoyed it.

In the next few days I’ll package some up to send to the ones who didn’t come. I certainly hope he made enough!

Cheers – for the Runner and his ability to make this wonderful Christmas candy.

Jeers – for my inability to add any wonderful sweet thing to the snack table. I do make a mean crab dip. Nice start for a Christmas Eve repast! (He is sending us two – we’re going to be great-grandparents in 2007!)

- - - -

Someone needed to say it.

And Randall Balmer, a feature writer for Christianity Today, did — in Thy Kingdom Come: An Evangelical’s Lament.

You won’t agree with everything. (Nor did I. It seems to me that there is much more diversity within Evangelicalism than it sometimes sounds in this book. Think, e.g., about the work of many young Evangelicals for Darfur!) But it is a compelling argument about something that has gone very wrong with much of the Evangelical movement in America.

Here’s a taste from the chapter: “Where Have All the Baptists Gone? Roy’s Rock, Roger Williams, and the First Amendment.”

Some of the things I learned from the radio while traveling the two hundred miles from George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston to Longview, Texas:

- The intellectual and scientific case for evolution is crumbling.
- Global warming is a myth.
- The flat income tax is a superb idea.
- “Satan wants the United States to be kind to pluralism.”
- The reason we swear an oath on the Bible is because the Bible was the sole foundation of American law.
- The world has an unlimited supply of oil.
- The Constitution provides no guarantee of personal privacy.
- Government fuel-efficiency standards kill people.
- Satan dominates the secular media.

My visit to East Texas came at a strange time. A day earlier, Pat Robertson had issued his fatwa against the president of Venezuela, and I was certain, given their hysteria over terrorism, that my friends on the Religious Right would join me in calling for Robertson’s detention and interrogation on suspicion of making a terrorist threat. (The televangelist is no stranger to making death threats, of course, though in the past he has generally targeted Supreme Court justices, not foreign heads of state.) . . .

But Robertson’s statement elicited nary a comment from what passes for Christian radio in East Texas, although one pundit allowed that the televangelist might try to convert the Venezuelan president before calling for his assassination.

I learned something else in the course of my travels through the triple-digit heat of a Texas summer: There seems to be at least some truth in the oft-quoted statement of Bill Moyers (the pride of Marshall, Texas) that in East Texas there are more Baptists than there are people. I passed First Baptist Church and Second Baptist Church, Long Range Baptist Church, Faith Family Baptist Church, Charity Baptist Church, Timpson Missionary Baptist Church, Appleby Baptist Church, Holly Springs Baptist Church, First Freewill Baptist Church, Zion Hill Baptist Church, Friendship Baptist Church, Friendship Bobo Baptist Church, Heritage Baptist Church, Pleasant Hill Baptist Church, Pleasant Valley Baptist Church, and Grace Baptist Church, which, according to a large sign, featured “Old Fashion Preaching” — to name only a few.

Given all of these churches, given all of these angry voices defending the faith on my car radio, imagine my surprise that evening when I attended a huge Religious Right rally at the Maude Cobb Convention and Activity Center in Longview and learned that, despite all appearances to the contrary, East Texas is actually in the grip of Satan.

The endorsements are as diverse as Rick Warren and Tony Campolo (though actually, I don’t think this is diverse as I would have five years ago). Campolo says: “Randall Balmer knows Evangelicalism inside and out. He writes with the ambivalence of a jilted lover who still cares very much about the movement but who is broken-hearted . . . .”

How Our Kids Can Change Us

I saw the video clip this morning from a courtroom where a 50-year-old father attacked the man who broke into the home where his daughter and grandchild were sleeping. The father had listened to the 911 tape where his daughter, having heard a window break through the babysitter machine, called for help — the desperation, then the screams as the man entered her bedroom with a large knife, then the struggle just as police broke in to save her. It was more than the dad could take.

There’s no way to justify his action in court.

However, if anyone takes up a collection to pay for his disruption of court costs, I’d like to contribute.

It reminds me of the old saying: “A neoconservative is a liberal with a teenage daughter.” (The mirror saying is that “a neoliberal is a conservative with a son who’s gay.”)

Our instincts to protect and love our children have a way of changing us, don’t they? I remember a well-known minister/teacher who held a hardline on divorce and remarriage until his own children went through that traumatic experience. His views changed.

This could, of course, be bad: it could just be our attempts to justify our behaviors. On the other hand, I believe sometimes it takes family trauma for us to get in touch with the basic compassion and hope of the gospel.

A Suggestion for the Holiday

I believe in people exchanging ideas, listening to one another, seeking to find common ground.

But . . . very often our assumptions — almost our worldviews — are so dramatically different that it’s like we’re speaking different languages.

And it’s something that more discussion, more dialogue, more blogs, more Bible study won’t solve.

At the end of the day, you either have to say: (1) we disagree, but let’s be friends; or (2) we disagree, so we can’t be friends.

Sometimes you just need to quit talking about certain topics. Find common ground. Enjoy the relationship for what it is. Hold to your convictions, while admitting that you, too, could be blinded by upbringing, prejudice, sin, and miscalculations.