Comments on: The Church, Marriage, and Divorce http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce Sniffing out the work of God in the world... Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:44:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: World http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-66962 World Tue, 28 Aug 2007 10:29:57 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-66962 <strong> Biggest dating portal in the world, come meet women tonight!...</strong> ... Biggest dating portal in the world, come meet women tonight!…

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]]> By: Jones Coverly http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-41072 Jones Coverly Tue, 16 Jan 2007 10:56:47 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-41072 Google is the best search engine Google is the best search engine

]]> By: GH http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-34644 GH Thu, 21 Dec 2006 19:19:45 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-34644 I must say after reading alot of these posts I am disgusted and pleased at the same time. I am not Church of Christ and frankly don't want to be but as an outsider I can say part of your problem is your religion itself. If you think even for a second that you are still married to someone you have been divorced from you are either A. indoctrinated B. delusional C. both. It's impossible to commit adultery with your spouse. It's like being a married bachelor. This is the same now as when Jesus walked the earth. Doctrines like some of your people espouse make him sound like an idiot. The ideal is for marriage to be good and lifelong, reality paints a different picture. What reason/evidence could you possibly have to think otherwise? I appreciate Brad as he has both a common sense approach that matches a real world ethic that Jesus would have espoused. I think Alan is rather disgusting in his views and much harm can come from them. Not to mention the fact that he actually is encouraging divorce. In essense he is not pro-marriage at all. A guilty person has as much right to another try at marriage as an innocent. What kind of forgiveness do you folks practice over there? Why shouldn't a guilty party marry again? You folks are saying Jesus can forgive all sins but marriage destruction. What a load of BS. If you destroy a marriage and ask forgiveness the sin is gone. I simply can't believe there are people dumb enough to think divorce is ok but marriage post divorce is the problem. Utterly and completely backwards. Trash existing marriages to reform trashed marriages. Only religion and bad religion at that can make people do such ridiculous evils. Marriage is an instituiton for men. It does not have a religious origin but does have religous meaning to many. Many marriages are not founded on solid ground and pretending these people need to stay together is as harmful as divorce. Is a girl who becomes pregnant out of wedlock and marries because of it in a 'sacred' union? Is a woman who marries for money? There are 100's of other scenarios. I feel a special sympathy for the couple above who actually got divorced based on what some folks from a podunk church think they read in the bible. This is not a flaw of these people but a flaw in the religion they follow and frankly it is disgusting from any rational viewpoint. Their religion ahs increased the pain in the world not decreased it. What a reflection on Jesus. Any God who would punish people for mistakes in marriage is one who may not be worth worshipping. I must say after reading alot of these posts I am disgusted and pleased at the same time. I am not Church of Christ and frankly don’t want to be but as an outsider I can say part of your problem is your religion itself.

If you think even for a second that you are still married to someone you have been divorced from you are either A. indoctrinated B. delusional C. both. It’s impossible to commit adultery with your spouse. It’s like being a married bachelor. This is the same now as when Jesus walked the earth. Doctrines like some of your people espouse make him sound like an idiot. The ideal is for marriage to be good and lifelong, reality paints a different picture.

What reason/evidence could you possibly have to think otherwise? I appreciate Brad as he has both a common sense approach that matches a real world ethic that Jesus would have espoused. I think Alan is rather disgusting in his views and much harm can come from them. Not to mention the fact that he actually is encouraging divorce. In essense he is not pro-marriage at all. A guilty person has as much right to another try at marriage as an innocent. What kind of forgiveness do you folks practice over there?

Why shouldn’t a guilty party marry again? You folks are saying Jesus can forgive all sins but marriage destruction. What a load of BS. If you destroy a marriage and ask forgiveness the sin is gone. I simply can’t believe there are people dumb enough to think divorce is ok but marriage post divorce is the problem. Utterly and completely backwards. Trash existing marriages to reform trashed marriages. Only religion and bad religion at that can make people do such ridiculous evils.

Marriage is an instituiton for men. It does not have a religious origin but does have religous meaning to many. Many marriages are not founded on solid ground and pretending these people need to stay together is as harmful as divorce. Is a girl who becomes pregnant out of wedlock and marries because of it in a ’sacred’ union? Is a woman who marries for money? There are 100’s of other scenarios.

I feel a special sympathy for the couple above who actually got divorced based on what some folks from a podunk church think they read in the bible. This is not a flaw of these people but a flaw in the religion they follow and frankly it is disgusting from any rational viewpoint. Their religion ahs increased the pain in the world not decreased it. What a reflection on Jesus. Any God who would punish people for mistakes in marriage is one who may not be worth worshipping.

]]> By: steve http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-34586 steve Thu, 21 Dec 2006 12:15:06 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-34586 This is great. You should also look at TrueMarriage.net where they are working on helping people to bind themselves more carefully according to their Church's view of marriage. Very exciting. This is great. You should also look at TrueMarriage.net where they are working on helping people to bind themselves more carefully according to their Church’s view of marriage. Very exciting.

]]> By: Jeffrey http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-34421 Jeffrey Wed, 20 Dec 2006 20:58:49 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-34421 I'm 20, twenty, years old and I've been born again at the age of fifteen and love my walk with the Lord. I've been reading through almost all of these posts. All this talk of divorce is serious business, and it brought me to tears just a few minutes ago. I completely broke down. I experienced divorce when I was five years old after my father was having an affair with another woman. Needless to say, my mother and I were heartbroken, and at five, and from that point on, I've tried to be there for her and look out for her. Two men have left her after they were married and she has been treated worse than dirt at times. All that to say this. I realize, I think, that marriage is for better, or worse. For richer, or poorer, in sickness, (cancer, alzeimer's disease, stroke, brain damage, etc), or in health, forsaking all others until death do you part. I want to give my heart, body, mind and soul to another person, but with all this talk of divorce this, divorce that, I'm ready to give up hope of ever committing to marriage, no matter how bad I want it. Although statistics don't tell everything and are pretty much not reliable, From the divorce rate being so high, IT just seems that marriage isn't worth it. Maybe it's my emotions that I'm running off here when I say that I want to share my life, my very being with someone and I want to give them all the love and support that I can. I don't know. But it just seems from all the divorces going on, marriage just isn't worth the risk, no matter how badly someone wants to share themselves, body, soul, mind, spirit, joys, sorrows, hopes and dreams with another person in a long-lasting committment for life. Any thoughts? P.S. Lorah, I read your post, and I think that Allan was saying that if one spouse leaves the other, it is a sin for the spouse that has left to marry again. You were not the one at fault and I don't think, in my humble opinion that you should feel guilty. That's just me, though. Please, somebody, share your thoughts with me, as I am really hurting and depressed about this whole subject of marriage and the committment it takes. So many people tell me it's worth it, and those people have long lasting, Godly marriages and many of them go to my church. Then, there are so many others who say well, it's not worth it. And so I'm stuck. And just for the record, I'm not planning to rush into any relationship any time soon. I'm waiting on God's timing and his provision for a woman. Jeffrey I’m 20, twenty, years old and I’ve been born again at the age of fifteen and love my walk with the Lord. I’ve been reading through almost all of these posts. All this talk of divorce is serious business, and it brought me to tears just a few minutes ago. I completely broke down. I experienced divorce when I was five years old after my father was having an affair with another woman. Needless to say, my mother and I were heartbroken, and at five, and from that point on, I’ve tried to be there for her and look out for her. Two men have left her after they were married and she has been treated worse than dirt at times. All that to say this. I realize, I think, that marriage is for better, or worse. For richer, or poorer, in sickness, (cancer, alzeimer’s disease, stroke, brain damage, etc), or in health, forsaking all others until death do you part. I want to give my heart, body, mind and soul to another person, but with all this talk of divorce this, divorce that, I’m ready to give up hope of ever committing to marriage, no matter how bad I want it. Although statistics don’t tell everything and are pretty much not reliable, From the divorce rate being so high, IT just seems that marriage isn’t worth it. Maybe it’s my emotions that I’m running off here when I say that I want to share my life, my very being with someone and I want to give them all the love and support that I can. I don’t know. But it just seems from all the divorces going on, marriage just isn’t worth the risk, no matter how badly someone wants to share themselves, body, soul, mind, spirit, joys, sorrows, hopes and dreams with another person in a long-lasting committment for life. Any thoughts?
P.S. Lorah, I read your post, and I think that Allan was saying that if one spouse leaves the other, it is a sin for the spouse that has left to marry again. You were not the one at fault and I don’t think, in my humble opinion that you should feel guilty. That’s just me, though. Please, somebody, share your thoughts with me, as I am really hurting and depressed about this whole subject of marriage and the committment it takes. So many people tell me it’s worth it, and those people have long lasting, Godly marriages and many of them go to my church. Then, there are so many others who say well, it’s not worth it. And so I’m stuck. And just for the record, I’m not planning to rush into any relationship any time soon. I’m waiting on God’s timing and his provision for a woman.

Jeffrey

]]> By: Can't Say My Name Today http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-26179 Can't Say My Name Today Wed, 15 Nov 2006 15:36:46 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-26179 The Church, Marriage, and Divorce...hummm...where do I start? Descirbe me as a child of divorced parents [Dad once, Mom 7 or more times, lost count] and married a divorced person with children. No children for us together. One sister divorced 4 times before age 23. One sister divorced after 10 years, now going on 4th or 5th boyfriend since divorce. One sister married at 17 and still married in her 40's. Her husband was divorced before he was 19. Brother divorced after two years, never remarried. One brother never married. ...if you are still reading, yes this is all true. The rest of the details are too painful to try to organize. I may or may not be a "whole" person. If I can't come into a church, where can I come in to? About a year or so after my wedding, my husband was asked to carry the contribution tray during service on Sunday. From there the "ministries" he was invited to serve in gradually increased. Not sure if we are fulll fledge members yet. I ask the Lord to help me treat every other person as a "full" member and maybe the same acceptance will be returned. All I can say is please pray for me and I would like to pray for you, too. The Church, Marriage, and Divorce…hummm…where do I start? Descirbe me as a child of divorced parents [Dad once, Mom 7 or more times, lost count] and married a divorced person with children. No children for us together. One sister divorced 4 times before age 23. One sister divorced after 10 years, now going on 4th or 5th boyfriend since divorce. One sister married at 17 and still married in her 40’s. Her husband was divorced before he was 19. Brother divorced after two years, never remarried. One brother never married. …if you are still reading, yes this is all true. The rest of the details are too painful to try to organize.

I may or may not be a “whole” person.

If I can’t come into a church, where can I come in to?

About a year or so after my wedding, my husband was asked to carry the contribution tray during service on Sunday. From there the “ministries” he was invited to serve in gradually increased. Not sure if we are fulll fledge members yet.

I ask the Lord to help me treat every other person as a “full” member and maybe the same acceptance will be returned.

All I can say is please pray for me and I would like to pray for you, too.

]]> By: Adultery, Lust, Revenge, Me - musings.from.the.porch - the community blog for The Porch http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-23928 Adultery, Lust, Revenge, Me - musings.from.the.porch - the community blog for The Porch Sat, 11 Nov 2006 01:07:39 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-23928 [...] I am reading some good blog entries. “PreacherMike” writes in http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce ”it seems to me that the church is too easy on divorce and too hard on divorced people.” This feels about right. [...] [...] I am reading some good blog entries. “PreacherMike” writes in http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce ”it seems to me that the church is too easy on divorce and too hard on divorced people.” This feels about right. [...]

]]> By: Brad http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-22399 Brad Mon, 06 Nov 2006 14:59:46 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-22399 Joel, I went to the link you posted. Ugh! Don't believe all that. It is poor exegesis, poor application and destructive in bringing healing to broken folks who have been divorced. Joel,

I went to the link you posted. Ugh! Don’t believe all that. It is poor exegesis, poor application and destructive in bringing healing to broken folks who have been divorced.

]]> By: Rebecca http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-22267 Rebecca Mon, 06 Nov 2006 03:24:49 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-22267 After reading Laura's post, I feel I have to speak up. I grew up feeling that divorce was one of those really BIG sins. Divorced people were outsiders, bad people, people who were too lazy or uncomitted to do what it took to stay married. I think I still believed all of this on some level two years ago when my husband decided after 6 years of marriage to leave me. I screamed, cried, and begged God to just take me up to Heaven so I could leave behind the pain. It seems crazy now, but I begged God not to hate ME for what my husband had chosen for us. After two years of pain, acceptance, and healing, I refuse to believe that God will not bless me in the future, whether I decide to remain single or not. Are we so shallow as to believe that God places limits on His love and grace, especially when it comes to people whose lots have been chosen for them? God hates divorce, this is true... and no one can better understand why God hates divorce than a person who has been through one. I guarantee that almost any divorced Christian will tell you that divorces are not good things; however, I also can tell you that God reveals so much of His goodness in the face of agonizing pain, and churches lose out on amazing testimony when they box off divorced people as second class citizens. After reading Laura’s post, I feel I have to speak up. I grew up feeling that divorce was one of those really BIG sins. Divorced people were outsiders, bad people, people who were too lazy or uncomitted to do what it took to stay married. I think I still believed all of this on some level two years ago when my husband decided after 6 years of marriage to leave me. I screamed, cried, and begged God to just take me up to Heaven so I could leave behind the pain. It seems crazy now, but I begged God not to hate ME for what my husband had chosen for us.

After two years of pain, acceptance, and healing, I refuse to believe that God will not bless me in the future, whether I decide to remain single or not. Are we so shallow as to believe that God places limits on His love and grace, especially when it comes to people whose lots have been chosen for them?

God hates divorce, this is true… and no one can better understand why God hates divorce than a person who has been through one. I guarantee that almost any divorced Christian will tell you that divorces are not good things; however, I also can tell you that God reveals so much of His goodness in the face of agonizing pain, and churches lose out on amazing testimony when they box off divorced people as second class citizens.

]]> By: Joel http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-22176 Joel Sun, 05 Nov 2006 19:48:43 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-22176 My apologies about the clipped web addresses. Just go to http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com, click "Divorce and Remarriage: Why Didn't We See This Before?" and then check the following links: "What is the Act or Action that is Adultery in Remarriage?” and “Why divorce is not adultery" My apologies about the clipped web addresses. Just go to http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com, click “Divorce and Remarriage: Why Didn’t We See This Before?” and then check the following links:

“What is the Act or Action that is Adultery in Remarriage?”

and

“Why divorce is not adultery”

]]> By: Laura http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21800 Laura Sat, 04 Nov 2006 17:13:05 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21800 Alan - I was particularly struck by something you had to say, and I'm going to quote it here and then ask about it. ***** 1) It seems to me that what is prohibited in scripture is not divorce itself but remarriage after divorce. 2) In my reading of the various passages on divorce, it seems that the heart behind all the passages is to leave open the door for reconciliation. Remarriage by either party closes that door, and therefore is sin. At that point, the toothpaste cannot be put back into the tube. Humpty cannot be put back together again. 3) I think Keith hit the nail on the head. The marriage / divorce / remarriage question is all about covenants. God takes covenants very seriously. Our redemption from sin through Jesus is based on a covenant made by God. Our marriage covenant is the same kind of thing, and is holy because it also is ordained by God. 4) Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. Neither is remarriage after a divorce. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is sin. ***** My husband is wonderful. He's a godly man with beautiful ideas for the Kingdom and a humble heart that searches for the Spirit. He's an amazing father, and he's a very loving man. He's a good husband. God has blessed our marriage more than we could have asked or imagined. It's not perfect, but we love eachother, and our commitment is real. We have a beautiful daughter, and I can see God's love when I look at my husband and the way he loves our daughter. And that's as it should be. He loves the Lord, and he loves his family. But he's divorced. He married very young. Fortunately, they had no children together. His wife chose to break their covenant by having an affair. He caught her, forgave her, and took their marriage to counselors, both secular and in the church. After two years of counseling, she was still cheating. He chose to leave, with scriptural reason to do so. His ex-wife has now been re-married and divorced THREE times. The problem is HERS, not his. According to you, my husband is living in sin by his marriage to me? This makes me cry, and I can barely see to type this! My husband is not perfect, but he loves the Lord, and he loves me. Am I to believe that God would see our marriage as sin, then? Is our beautiful daughter a by-product of his SIN? Should he be asking forgiveness everyday for his marriage to me? For us, divorce is not an option. Like my grandparents and my parents before us, we don't even view it as a possible way out for problems. No matter what, we have made a commitment, both to each other and to God - that we will remain in our marriage, and remain faithful to each other. How can a scripturally based commitment be sinful? So then, does my wonderful husband contine to sin until the day he dies, simply because he is married to me? Have my parents sinned, by "giving me away" to a man this is divorced? Is our daughter born into our sin because her father was once married to a cheating woman? I'm so upset! How dare someone say that my husband is sinning by being married to me! I think people are TOO hard on divorce. Yes, God hates divorce, but isn't it the SIN that leads to divorce that He hates? Doesn't God love His children, who choose to be faithful to Him, even when others around them are not? Where is the love, kindness, compassion and patience in your voice? The fruits of the Spirit are not manifested in cold, hard words of pride, but in love and in truth and in kindness and in FORGIVENESS. I have seen God's hand in our marriage, and believe that God brought us together to serve HIS purposes. It's impossible to think that our Christ-centered marriage is a SIN. When we married, we dedicated our lives and marriage to the Lord. We then moved halfway across the country to VOLUNTEER with a small church, because we believed the Lord was calling us to do so. We quit our jobs and moved much too far away from my family because we were following where the Spirit led us. He has blessed us SO richly since we have been here. I can feel His Hand leading us, guiding our marriage and lives to where He wants us. Please explain to me how our marriage is a sin? Is God against us? Your words have wounded me deeply. Alan -
I was particularly struck by something you had to say, and I’m going to quote it here and then ask about it.
*****
1) It seems to me that what is prohibited in scripture is not divorce itself but remarriage after divorce.

2) In my reading of the various passages on divorce, it seems that the heart behind all the passages is to leave open the door for reconciliation. Remarriage by either party closes that door, and therefore is sin. At that point, the toothpaste cannot be put back into the tube. Humpty cannot be put back together again.

3) I think Keith hit the nail on the head. The marriage / divorce / remarriage question is all about covenants. God takes covenants very seriously. Our redemption from sin through Jesus is based on a covenant made by God. Our marriage covenant is the same kind of thing, and is holy because it also is ordained by God.

4) Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. Neither is remarriage after a divorce. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is sin.
*****
My husband is wonderful. He’s a godly man with beautiful ideas for the Kingdom and a humble heart that searches for the Spirit. He’s an amazing father, and he’s a very loving man. He’s a good husband. God has blessed our marriage more than we could have asked or imagined. It’s not perfect, but we love eachother, and our commitment is real. We have a beautiful daughter, and I can see God’s love when I look at my husband and the way he loves our daughter. And that’s as it should be. He loves the Lord, and he loves his family.

But he’s divorced. He married very young. Fortunately, they had no children together. His wife chose to break their covenant by having an affair. He caught her, forgave her, and took their marriage to counselors, both secular and in the church. After two years of counseling, she was still cheating. He chose to leave, with scriptural reason to do so. His ex-wife has now been re-married and divorced THREE times. The problem is HERS, not his.

According to you, my husband is living in sin by his marriage to me?

This makes me cry, and I can barely see to type this! My husband is not perfect, but he loves the Lord, and he loves me. Am I to believe that God would see our marriage as sin, then? Is our beautiful daughter a by-product of his SIN? Should he be asking forgiveness everyday for his marriage to me?

For us, divorce is not an option. Like my grandparents and my parents before us, we don’t even view it as a possible way out for problems. No matter what, we have made a commitment, both to each other and to God - that we will remain in our marriage, and remain faithful to each other. How can a scripturally based commitment be sinful?

So then, does my wonderful husband contine to sin until the day he dies, simply because he is married to me? Have my parents sinned, by “giving me away” to a man this is divorced? Is our daughter born into our sin because her father was once married to a cheating woman?

I’m so upset! How dare someone say that my husband is sinning by being married to me! I think people are TOO hard on divorce. Yes, God hates divorce, but isn’t it the SIN that leads to divorce that He hates? Doesn’t God love His children, who choose to be faithful to Him, even when others around them are not?

Where is the love, kindness, compassion and patience in your voice? The fruits of the Spirit are not manifested in cold, hard words of pride, but in love and in truth and in kindness and in FORGIVENESS. I have seen God’s hand in our marriage, and believe that God brought us together to serve HIS purposes. It’s impossible to think that our Christ-centered marriage is a SIN.

When we married, we dedicated our lives and marriage to the Lord. We then moved halfway across the country to VOLUNTEER with a small church, because we believed the Lord was calling us to do so. We quit our jobs and moved much too far away from my family because we were following where the Spirit led us. He has blessed us SO richly since we have been here. I can feel His Hand leading us, guiding our marriage and lives to where He wants us.

Please explain to me how our marriage is a sin? Is God against us? Your words have wounded me deeply.

]]> By: Terry B. http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21609 Terry B. Sat, 04 Nov 2006 04:54:40 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21609 After 24 four years of marriage, my husband decided that he did not love me anymore...we were very active in the church...our kids were blindsided and because he likely felt so guilty, he totally incapacitated my children by accusing them of contributing to the divorce ect....It was and continues to be very crippling for the boys. I am remarried to a wonderful man but that divorce will NEVER be out of our minds and lives...it will effect my children and grandchildren and who knows how many other generations....If my husband could have been more supportive of the kids, I think it might have been better....None of my children attend the CoC anymore...my youngest is attending a Baptist congregation....and very happy...the two older boys are barely functioning...Divorce is bad...is it my imagination or are C of C divorces the worst?! The ones I have experienced with other friends seem to bear that out.... After 24 four years of marriage, my husband decided that he did not love me anymore…we were very active in the church…our kids were blindsided and because he likely felt so guilty, he totally incapacitated my children by accusing them of contributing to the divorce ect….It was and continues to be very crippling for the boys. I am remarried to a wonderful man but that divorce will NEVER be out of our minds and lives…it will effect my children and grandchildren and who knows how many other generations….If my husband could have been more supportive of the kids, I think it might have been better….None of my children attend the CoC anymore…my youngest is attending a Baptist congregation….and very happy…the two older boys are barely functioning…Divorce is bad…is it my imagination or are C of C divorces the worst?! The ones I have experienced with other friends seem to bear that out….

]]> By: David Johnson http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21323 David Johnson Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:14:26 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21323 I think the church has fostered the wrong attitude about divorce. We seem to approach the Bible on the subject of divorce with the question, "For what can I get divorced?" The biblical question is rather different: "How can I stay married?" Excellent thoughts, Mr. Mike. I think the church has fostered the wrong attitude about divorce. We seem to approach the Bible on the subject of divorce with the question, “For what can I get divorced?” The biblical question is rather different: “How can I stay married?”

Excellent thoughts, Mr. Mike.

]]> By: HW http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21133 HW Thu, 02 Nov 2006 13:40:53 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21133 Twenty eight years ago, my divorced mother moved her 4 children to a new town so she could start a new job. Even though she was not a regular church goer, she wanted to start attending church with us, to establish a "family" and become involved. After a few weeks at this church she noticed the men were just friendly enough but the ladies were quite "stand offish". After approaching the minister and his wife to let them know of her frustrations, she was told that, frankly, the ladies were threatened by her and her single status. Looking back, it is almost laughable. If only they knew how exhausted she was from raising four kids alone, they would have known she had no interest in pursuing a man, especially a married man. Oh and guess who was NOT raised in church? I am thankful things have changed in the church now. Also, divorce does not impact only the couple and their children. It impacts the grandchildren as well. I will never forget when my 4-year old asked "why doesn't Grandma Irene have a grandpa at her house?" I am almost forty years old and still face the burden and pain of my parents' divorce almost daily, especially now that one of them is suffering from a serious illness. But perhaps that is for another post. Twenty eight years ago, my divorced mother moved her 4 children to a new town so she could start a new job. Even though she was not a regular church goer, she wanted to start attending church with us, to establish a “family” and become involved. After a few weeks at this church she noticed the men were just friendly enough but the ladies were quite “stand offish”. After approaching the minister and his wife to let them know of her frustrations, she was told that, frankly, the ladies were threatened by her and her single status. Looking back, it is almost laughable. If only they knew how exhausted she was from raising four kids alone, they would have known she had no interest in pursuing a man, especially a married man. Oh and guess who was NOT raised in church? I am thankful things have changed in the church now.
Also, divorce does not impact only the couple and their children. It impacts the grandchildren as well. I will never forget when my 4-year old asked “why doesn’t Grandma Irene have a grandpa at her house?”
I am almost forty years old and still face the burden and pain of my parents’ divorce almost daily, especially now that one of them is suffering from a serious illness. But perhaps that is for another post.

]]> By: Steve Jr. http://preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21018 Steve Jr. Thu, 02 Nov 2006 03:18:05 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/2006/10/31/divorce#comment-21018 I think someone here asked about Paul Faulkner's contact information because he has some great materials on divorce (and remarriage, I presume). Well, I have tracked down said information, and you may obtain this information by e-mailing me. I think someone here asked about Paul Faulkner’s contact information because he has some great materials on divorce (and remarriage, I presume). Well, I have tracked down said information, and you may obtain this information by e-mailing me.

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