For the past few days, as we’ve remember the tragedy of 9/11 five years later, I’ve been moved again by all the calls made to loved ones — some from jets and some from the twin towers.
They were good-bye calls to make sure that people knew they were loved.
And again it makes me ask myself: Am I holding anything back? Is there something I’d say if I had just a couple minutes to live that I’m not saying now?
Why would we hold back? There are no guarantees in life. I might live another three decades; I might not live through 9-14-06.
How about you? Are there words you need to speak to your parents? kids? spouse? friends? enemies?
Maybe this is the time to say them.
Wow, great post Mike. It’s hard to remember it at 23 but there are really no promises in life. I had a very close friend whose father passed away very unexpectedly last May at the age of 50. It was an incredibly painful time for her and a difficult time to be her friend but I was reminded every step of the way of my need to be open, up front, and not “hold back” anything from my loved ones. Even when it seems like we’ll all live forever.
On this note, I would ask you all to be praying for a young man by the name of Brendan Murray. He is a second year law student here at Tech who had knee surgery a week ago, got a blood clot, and had a stroke. He has been in a coma for nearly two weeks and his parents decided to pull him off of lilfe support yesterday. I have yet to hear what has happened but I know his family is in desperate need of prayers right now.
Maybe so. Saying what needs to be heard is important, and sometimes hard. You never know how it will be received. There is no way to separate our relationships with people from our relationship with God, but it seems that is what I often do. I wonder, what would we hear from each other and say to each other if we could let go of our pride, selfishness and judgemental habits? If it really was the last day of life.
What a gift it would be to live in such a way that everyone missed us terribly and mourned when we die, but everyone celebrated our destination. Maybe saying those important things to those around us (and receiving those words with grace from others) is part of that…
Thanks, Mike
I Love You.
There. I said it - it’s up to THEM to read it now, right?
Nice try, Beaner. I think you have to tell them a bit more directly.
Thanks, Chris and G’ampa — good words.
I’ll have my phone with me all day, Mike, in case you want to make that call….
Oh, Mike -
I noted what time you wrote your post and realize it was about that exact time 4 years ago this morning, a lovely sunny September morning when Tom received the call from his daughter, Kristine, and his beautiful 33 year old daughter Kim who looked so much like her dad, tall at 5′10″, slender, had just died of a burst aorta.
Kim died within 15 or 20 minutes at home with the EMTs unable to do anything to stop the blood pouring through her body. I’m sitting here listening to Art Garfunkle’s deeply moving song “Bright Eyes” with tears in my eyes and anguish in my heart for her loss.
But Tom and I laughed together this morning and I wrote a humorous post on my blog. Kim would have wanted this for us and Tom always let his girls know how much he loved them, and they him.
Tom and I never leave each other’s presence or end a telephone conversation without telling each other, I love you. I am probably way to effuse in telling each of my kids and grandkids the same thing every time we are together or on the phone before we say goodby once more.
I’ve come to think of death as sailing off on our brightly colored Hobie catamaran toward the setting of the sun where the lighthouse on the not too distant shore gleams brightly ahead shining its glowing light across the water showing us the path to home. Across the waves I hear all the echoes of the many loving words shared and left between us and they, too, help guide the way.
Great post Mike.
Do we live like Christ might return anytime or we might die anytime. James tell us that our live is but a vapor here today and gone tomorrow. Time does fly.
I would say to my family how much I love them.
To my boys above all things be Godly and faithful.
TO my wife your have been the greatest blessing and gift from God. Don’t grieve. Live. And if you can love again. Live life abundantly.
To my friends don’t cry for me because I am going to a better place.
To my enemies I forgive you…Get off the highway to hell and get on the stairway to heaven.
Thanks again Mike for this great post today.
At the risk of pouring on, I’m attaching an article written by Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal. It is a very moving reminder of what was on the minds of the people who knew they would die on 9/11.
http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/?id=110008909
Yes, Mike, this is so apropos.
We should not hold back. We should go ahead and make the calls! We should do it before we’re faced with calamity so that we don’t have to ask a third party that we don’t know to try to convey the depth of our love to another person that she or he does not know.
Also, think of all of the calls that did not connect. No matter how desperately some of these people tried, some calls just didn’t go through. What an empty feeling that must have been.
This makes me think of Tim McGraw’s popular song: Live Like You Were Dying. I’ll take a pass on the bull named fumanchu; but it seems to me like it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if we would all…
…love deeper
…speak sweeter
…give forgiveness we’ve been denying
…and live like we were dying
Blessings to you and yours,
-bill
Trey - Great link. Thanks. I just went and read Noonan’s words. She ends with this:
“This is what I get from the last messages. People are often stronger than they know, bigger, more gallant than they’d guess. And this: We’re all lucky to be here today and able to say what deserves saying, and if you say it a lot, it won’t make it common and so unheard, but known and absorbed.”
Makes me think of “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.”
One thing I’ve never regretted but not sure I’ve fully appreciated is that on almost every phone call ever made within my family, we always end in a “Love ya”…my parents, my brothers, my husband. And every morning before I leave for work, I always kiss my husband and tell him goodbye, even though he’s still asleep.
Thanks for keeping us accountable to each other Mike. Reminds me of the song growing up in church, “Angry Words,” and how biting they are…but then the great chorus…”Love one another, thus saith the Savior…:
The young men that I talked about earlier (first comment on this post) did pass away last night. Please pray for his family over the next few days. His name was Brendan Murray. Thanks.
What a tragic, sudden loss, Chris. Thanks for allowing us to pray for that grieving family.
Yesterday we received word that a 15 year old relative of ours was tragically killed in a freak accident. His family’s pain is beyond my comprehension. He left behind a mom, dad, little sister, two sets of grandparents, an aunt, an uncle, cousins and a host of extended family.
When I went to see the parents this morning, I had no words. Only tears and a hug.
It doesn’t matter how old, young, attentive, or dismissive someone is, you must tell them you love them. You must tell them you care. Even if they don’t want to hear it.
The most powerful of all reconcilliation words, spoken by our Father to us and by us to others:
I love you!!
“Once you tell somebody the way that you feel, you can feel it beginning to ease……” From “Shower the People” by James Taylor