Who has Jeff Foxworthy write a blurb for their book — a serious (though often humorous book) one, at that?
Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz
He writes in To Own a Dragon
Miller had left home in Houston and was traveling. He ran out of cash in Oregon, and had to stay for a while in Boring, Oregon, which he said lived up to its name.
At a church there he met John MacMurray, who became his mentor and male role model. Before long, John and his wife, Terri, handed him a key and invited him to move into an apartment above the garage.
Here’s what he observed about this family:
“What I am trying to say is, I saw a family. For the first time in my life, I saw what a father does, what a father teaches a kid, what a husband does around the house, the way a man interacts with the world around him, the way a man — just as does a woman — holds a family together.
“I am not going to tell you it was easy. There were times I would have rather lived on my own, played my music as loud as I wanted, come home drunk, whatever. But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren’t real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child. The lessons I learned in the four years I spent with John and Terri will stay with me forever.
“I read a passage in the Bible a long time ago that said, ‘God sets the lonely in families.’ Looking back on the time with John and Terri, I know that passage was talking about me.”
A great book! I think it will speak to women as well, but I know that it speaks powerfully to men grappling with the roles and expectations of men. I went into the book looking for a way to help me with insight into other men who didn’t grow up with a solid, ever-present father. I got that, but so much that was helpful personally, though I had and still have a great dad.
Get it! Read it!
I have read all of Miller’s books, and this one is as good or better than the others. This is a MUST read for every man who is a dad or plans on being a dad! I have told both of my boys that this is a book Dad wants them to read soon.
Miller has a very unique gift…….one that I am not sure I have seen matched in a long while.
Thanks for getting the word out about this wonderful book, Mike!
DU
As usual, you have addressed an issue with which many people struggle in a thoughtful and sensitive way. I really appreciate your gentle spirit and sensitivity. I’ve not read this book, but it is working its way up the stack of my must-reads.
My personal experience, however, is similar to what you describe here, especially when you write, “At a church there he met John MacMurray, who became his mentor and male role model.” The example of John MacMurray is one of the most of the ways we can extend a kingdom-presence into the lives of people who need to know the love of God in real, rather than theoretical terms.
My experiences have taught me that one doesn’t have to be a literal orphan to be orphaned. I describe this as being an “emotional orphan”. This condition exists in abundance all around us. There are many opportunities for us to fill up that which is lacing in the lives of many who are really in need. Doing this is to practice religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless—looking after orphans and widows in their distress.
Thank you, Mike, for this excellent post!
I’m so glad you like the book, Mike. Don has a lot of friends that are outside the CBA arena, and doing the endorsements for his book was really fun. Not that I’m biased or anything, but it absolutely is Don’s best book so far. This is the book he always wanted to write, and although he wrote about his experience growing up without a dad, we’ve found that it’s applying to even women who had great dads, which is wonderful. He’s such an amazing and honest writer.
Thanks to Mel, I have this book and it’s on my “to read” pile. I think it just got moved up a few books, though.
The best book I’ve read in ‘06. I took it on a ski trip in March and read it (and wept) in less than 48 hours. I couldn’t put it down. I thought of it last night when my family was celebrating my son’s 21st birthday at the Cheesecake Factory. I realized again how grateful I am to God for letting the chain be broken with me. I’ll tell you what else is cool about TOAD, is the iTunes playlist that he mentions in the back. I downloaded that and have played the song, Father I Never Had, by Joel Engle, no less than 100 times since March. Amazing song.
I was blessed to hear Don read the first chapter to a small group of us when it was first released.
I’ve waited 7 comments (God’s perfect number) before submitting this:
“If you go to a family reunion to pick up women, you might be a redneck.”
The difference between a man and an elephant is grace (read the book for this to make sense). Many boys grow up without fathers, but many of those boys can be introduced to God when we are gracious enough to spend our time, our lives with those who need us. After reading this book, I’ve determined it’s my duty to help a man I know who needs help, who needs to learn about how to become a man, who needs to experience God’s grace. We’ve had a conversation, he’s started to read the book, maybe God is moving… I’ll have to wait until he returns to town next week to continue the conversation. Who says stories don’t change lives?
OFF THE SUBJECT OF THIS POST, but one one of Mike’s more favorite subjects (baseball):
Mike,
One of the young men in Houston wrote the posting in the blog for 7/11/06:
http://seyoungadults.blogspot.com
I thought you and your baseball obsession/connection would appreciate it.
I just started this book. I’m a big Donald Miller fan, so I’m anxious to get into it!
I can verify Scott’s thought that this book will speak to women as well– I am married to someone who grew up without a dad and the book was a great insight into a few of the things Bart had to deal with. I plan to read it again soon and take notes this time!
Carl, we too have made a commitment to be “family of choice” to those who are missing that relationship in their lives. Blessings on your efforts.
Your post touches on of the greatest needs of the world today. Fathers who live their lives while being connected with their heavenly Father to mentor their own children and others. As a foster parent, the need to open our homes to the stranger, the orphan and the outsider has never been greater than today. Yet, so many of our young families worry about the “influence” on their own. Having kept scores of children, and even young mothers who were expecting, I can testify that the influence upon one’s own children is one of the greatest blessings you can give them.
I read this book in march. I’ve grown up without a father for the past 8 years. He abandoned me in middle school and I’ve never seen him since. I guess what I wonder is now that I’ve got all of this confusion about what is appropriate behaviour for a man, and what isn’t appropriate (i.e: How to interact in relationships with girls, how to control your temper, how to deal with the sins of your father, etc.)… but am I supposed to have learned all of that by reading a book? My guess is “No”. In fact, I think Donald Miller might agree with me. I say that because I don’t think that Donald Miller learned it from reading a book. But what about all of us 20 year olds who are in College on our own, and for the life of us we don’t know what it’s like to be around a healthy relationship? Because I think it’s great that Donald Miller had John MacMurray, but how is that going to happen to the rest of us? Is someone going to take me in and let me live with them to see what an emotionally healthy family functions like?
Nevertheless, I thought it was a great book, but this is how I felt after reading the book. In so many ways I agreed with Donald Miller, but in a lot of ways I felt left out like he had something that only very few are offered the opportunity. Are the rest of us just suppose to figure it out ourselves by reading books?
I don’t want to sound like I’m angry at him, because I’m not. I guess I just wonder what I’m supposed to do. Does this make sense to anyone else?
Mike,
I thought it was funny when I bought Andy Stanley’s latest book (Communicating for a Change) and I read the ‘this book is awesome” comments on the back. The usual suspects were there: John Maxwell, Ed Young Jr., and then JEFF FOXWORTHY. Hmm, I didn’t know Andy was a redneck
It was a great book by the way.
Okay, I said I wasn’t going to keep commenting on old posts, but this one, too, hits a chord.
Curt and Nedra Sparks did much the same thing for me in Memphis that John and Terri did for this man. My dad divorced my mother when I was 16 (older than some, I know, but he had been distant since long before then) and my mother — well, we won’t go there right now.
Anyhow, yes: I was 24 (I think) and I lived with them for a period of several months. They stood by me and taught me what real family is like and showed me unconditional love — a love that before I’d been afraid of but which now I find myself able to show others.
Anyway, I don’t know where I’m going with this except to say that this, too, pokes at a spot somewhere inside and made me want to say something, even if it’s this: a clumsy, half-formed comment on a post nearly 2 years old.