I went to Paradise yesterday.
And Weatherford. And Bridgeport.
Diane, Chris, and I went to the “visitation” yesterday to be with the family of Raydean Mattis. Mrs. Mattis became a widow in 1965 when her husband was shot down in Vietnam. After this tragic loss, she returned to college, finished her degree, and became a high school teacher. (It’s because of her story — and my friendship with her son — that I was so interested in the book Hero Mama.)
The visitation was at the Cates Street Church of Christ in Bridgeport, where she was a member. As soon as we walked into the fellowship hall, we saw a few women behind a counter — stationed there to make sure that everyone had food. (It was a welcome sight to my son after a quick 2.5 hour trip right after school.)
It made me think that most churches must have food women — the ladies who express their compassion by providing meals at funerals and family visitations. They’re usually behind the scenes. But they use their talents to make life a bit more tolerable during loss.
Food women. The ones who brought the casseroles and banana pudding to the church lunches we had in the church in Neosho growing up. The ones who fed the whole church on Wednesday nights in Wilmington (along with enough fresh vegies brought in by F. W. Mattox from his garden). The ones at Highland who fed our extended family when Megan died.
Today I’ll be making my first trip to the Iowa Park Church of Christ.
Want to guess? Yes, I was invited to lunch. The food ladies will be at work.
Beth Kellar..the best food woman I know…
Holly Woodard, Giant-meal food woman!
Food women. Now that’s a term!
Years ago, when I was a little girl, we used to have this guy at our church named Addrick. He was so funny. Always crackin’ jokes and making people laugh when it was inappropriate. You know the kind. During one covered dish dinner he said, “These girls ain’t much to look at, but they sure can cook.”
Amazing that God can take the ability to make a good macaroni and cheese and use it bless someone.
When I was younger, I always thought the concept of bringing food to others after the loss of a loved one was a strange concept. “Hey, I’m sorry your mom died, but here’s some spaghetti casserole.” It just seemed weird. And yet, as a very young girl, I tagged along with my mother, one of the great “food women” to deliver many a meal to a grieving family.
It wasn’t until the loss of my own grandmother that I realized what a huge blessing this ministry can be. My grandmother passed away the day before Thanksgiving, and the members of the Brazil 2005 team that we were preparing to serve with that summer jumped right in. Lenda Jensen spear-headed the effort, and on Thanksgiving morning, we were blessed to receive an abundance of food for Thanksgiving dinner, complete with turkey and all the trimmings from our precious friends. Oh, and Terry St. Pierre and his son spent Thanksgiving morning raking our yard. Yes, this ministry is indeed a vital one in the church. God bless all the “food women”!
Mike, I think it was you who said at Zoe a couple of years ago while speaking on women’s roles that serving communion involved serving food, you were surprised that we didn’t MAKE women serve communion.
I witnessed this firsthand 2 weeks ago when my uncle passed away. Just a couple of hours after we received news of his passing, there were women from my grandmother’s church who had packed her kitchen with food and other things. It was truly an amazing and comforting thing. This kind of service is part of what the church is all about.
My favorite “food woman” will be the one that brings that taco salad that has the crunched up Doritos and the french dressing. Yum. I never make it at home, I just love to find it on the potluck table.
I’m very thankful for “food women” (and any men who happen to fill the role) - they do a good thing.
I have always been amazed at the impact this simple act of service has on people. In my early days of preaching, where I spent most of my time working with rural churches, I watched so many women take otherwise awful situations and give a grieving family a big dose of encouragement that would remind them of the deep compassion of the local church. I love the old Fred Craddock story of when his dad was dying of cancer at the Veterens Hospital in Nashville. It was the compassion of which you speak that brought him finally to faith. Great post, and a much needed reminder.
The same Lord, who used loaves and fishes to His glory, can also use casseroles. While i agree that role of women has been cloudy, I praise God for their cooking ministry of mercy and compassion. A lot of church women of yesteryear actively ministered while teaching us it’s not ability nor inability but availablity. A cup of water in the name of Jesus–updated paraphrase says a glass of sweet tea in the name of Jesus.
I am extremely thankful for food women as well. These women minister in the name of Jesus to so many people but cannot speak in the pulpit, be an elder, lead singing, lead communion, etc in the C of C.
Matter of fact if I treated women the way the C of C treated women in my workplace I would be fired in about 30 minutes. Makes you wonder what we say to the world despite our words.
These Godly food women should be included everywhere not because they are women but because they are being Jesus to those who thirst for it. They are intelligent and competent people more than worthy of filling every leadership role.
Our stance on women is just about as asinine as our arguement over instrumental music.
I’m married to a “food woman.” My wife prepares our Wedensday night meals as well as being a proud “food woman” when food is required at our church. She also cooks our prime rib and Alice Springs Chicken for our annual Church Christmas Party.
Thanks for recognizing these women who fill a very valuable role in our churches.
Food Women…These beloved saints are, IMO, some of the most effective ministers in the body of Christ. Their spiritual service is truly “in the moment” with no strings attached (except they generally want their dishes back so they can serve when the next need arises). Thanks for gently remind us of true greatness in the kingdom!
Every woman relative of mine is a food-woman. And dog-gone good ones too! Thanks for reminding us of their servant hearts!
DU
I became related to one of the best food women that I know when I married Heidi. Her Aunt Rena lives next door to the church that the extended family has been part of for 5 generations and anytime the doors are open and there is a need, she is there to fill it. Her cinnamon rolls are the best and at Thanksgiving each year, each family leaves with a pan of these for home the next morning.
People who believe that women’s “roles” in the church are “different” or “separate” from men’s, do so in faith, and are attempting to follow the teaching of Scripture.
People who see little or no distinction in “roles” of men and women in the church, do so in faith, and are attempting to follow the teaching of Scripture.
Many, many, held and still hold the former position. I think it is misguided, but I can (must) honor and love these people.
I hold the latter position, finding it consistent with the teachings of Jesus, specifically as portrayed by Luke, John, and even Paul and the Genesis writer. It is possible I am mistaken in this. It is certain I am not absolutely correct.
In our congregation are people with both positions, sitting side by side. Thanks be to God, there has been no mass exodus on either side. (Neither “side” is completely satisfied, either.) We all hope that God will reward us for being faithful rather than correct. That by faith, he will count us “righteous” rather than “right”.
I am not trying to spark some big debate here, but let us not call each others’ opinions “asinine”. I firmly held the “other” view six years ago. And have at times been asinine, both formerly and recently.
Michael
I was a lot like Heather, the earlier commenter. In my youth I thought food ministry was strange and superficial, as I got older I thought it was encouraging “gender placement” that we can sometimes be known for.
But as many learn the hard way, so did I. During a extended illness and long time in the hospital, these angels kept my frazzled and stressed out family fed. And more importantly, they always showed up with a smiling face and a message of hope, whether spoken or not.
I would also like to extend the “food women” title to the wonderful families and professors who invite university students to share meals when they’re away from home! And after working in an international ministry and living abroad myself, a meal, whether delievered or in one’s home, is a beautiful sign of acceptance and inviting someone who might be lonely and feeling like an outsider.
Many thanks to the food women!
Michael,
I do not have it all right either, but when you exclude one half the population based on gender, that’s asinine!!.
Women can make financial decisions at home but can’t them at the good ole boys club (elder’s meetings). Get real!!
I thought we were supposed to minister to the world we lived in, not oppress it based on gender.
If we start looking from the outside in, one might have a different view.
Leland,
Indeed, looking at ourselves from the outside in (we are in Houston) was a factor in our decisions. But it is sure hard to see ourselves in an “unfiltered” way.
Michael
Jesus said if you want to be first be last and if you want to be a true leader you have to serve others. True leaders are the ones living out this mandate. Today in Modesto many women will take food to the Rosenberger’s house because my former secretary and friend at the church passed away yesterday. She was in her mid thirties and had two children. My hope is that we all can see how valuable this great compassionate ministry is and how it becomes the working hands of Jesus.
Leland the most important role in the church is not leading from the from front, but serving in the trenches when hearts are hurting. My heart hurts today as Zoe’s family hurts, I pray they see Jesus as the green bean casserole arrives with the ham and deviled eggs.
You know you have a good food church when you can recognize a dish at a potluck and know who brought the dish.
” Isn’t that Mrs. Smith’s corningware? I gotta try some of that.”
Buddy,
“Leland the most important role in the church is not leading from the from front, but serving in the trenches when hearts are hurting”
Your right but both men and women should fill both roles.
I can thank the “food women” in DeKalb, TX for putting on about 50 lbs. on this preacher back in the mid 90’s. Couldn’t they, in their magical food preparatory ways, make all that good stuff low cal? Surely ya’ll won’t tell me that it’s my responsibilty to eat with self-control, will you? What, with pecan pie with scoops of Blue Bell Homemade vanilla icecream, homemade rolls, cajun fried turkey, brisket, 14 varieties of vegetables, etc., can you blame a guy for not wanting to offend the good sisters?
When I was in college, York College in Nebraska, Mrs. Key would come out of her house after chapel (we walked from the church down a residential street back to campus and classes) and she would always hand out cookies or brownies or little cake squares. She was Mom for so many of us who were away from home for the first time.
Every year the “Helping Hands” (a women’s organization that cooked and cleaned and sewed etc… all to help support the College) would have a pie social fundraiser. Mrs. Key had heard me one time speak of my favorite pie, Jefferson Davis Pie (obviously a southern delight) and went way out of her way to call my grandma in Arkansas and get the recipe. She surprised me with it at the pie night.
What a lady! What a servant!
I have never commented on a blog ever, but I did want to praise on of the best food ladies ever, Becky Almanza.
When my dad died suddenly, she and Joe were at my house immeditely and cleaned my cluttered house. Joe brought paper plates, napkins, cups etc. She stayed the three days before the funeral, answered all phone calls, greeted people at the door, took in tons of food, gave directions and generally took care of all my extended family because I was too shocked to do anything.
I seriously don’t know what we would have done without her. She organized a reception at the church after the funeral and a visitation at my house. The ladies at my church fed my family lunch before the funeral and provided food for several day afterward. One of the elders came and stayed with my kids while we were making arrangements and did some minor yard work. I will forever be grateful to Becky and Joe and to my family at church.
Becky and Joe were also the cooks at our camp during the summer for many years. She cooked not regular camp food but real food, like Hawaiian chicken, homemade tacos, spaghetti, hamburgers on the grill, pineapple upside down cake. She personally scraped out many oranges and filled them with sherbert ice cream. The adults got homemade tortillas and eggs for breakfast. The only camp where you actually gained weight.
I miss her cinnamon dessert things the most. Hint Hint
I have great memories of some of the food women in my life. Seeing them behind the counter in our church annex and then eating quickly before getting up to clean was a sight that I saw many Sundays in a row as I grew up. But I also remember a few food men. Those rare men who took up their place in the kitchen along the food women and proudly displayed whatever dish they had cooked up. These men’s willingness to do a service that many men did not left a deep and lasting impression on me. Thanks, dad.
F.W. Mattox=the founding President of my alma mater!!
I love the food women. I hope to be one someday soon-what an incredible service they provide!!
Leland, Brother I think you are in need of some guacamole.
SG,
I know I am. THX
Food women may be one of the deciding factors in my Dad’s decision to begin going to church. Although he knew my Mom cooked meals, sat with sick friends, etc., he thought she was the only one. When my Mom was ill, my Dad saw the sacrificial love shown to us. We never lacked for a meal or a sitter for my Mom. On the day that Mom died, two meals showed up, plus a birthday cake for me. One dear lady brought a sack full of paper plates, paper cups, and napkins. Food ladies are the hands of Jesus serving others. And, when my Dad is saved, I will contend that they played a large part in it.
We are a creation of God, we people, and God has a knack for knowing what we need. When major events arise, whether glad or sad, sharing food together is always comforting. I think something else even deeper is involved, too. Something way beyond food. God made us to grow closer to the people we share meals with. Look at our past, as far back as the exodus from Egypt. The Passover meal, the various feasts of the Israelites, the Lord’s Supper. I believe all are designed by God to bring us closer. When our kids go out on a date, what do they ALWAYS do? Eat together. Think of all the funeral lunches, wedding feasts, men’s breakfasts, etc etc etc. Think of the people you eat out with or have over for dinner; closest friends and people you want to get close to. God knows that is an easy way for us to grow to community. Women who cook and prepare know that, too, maybe because they are more in tune with the “family” orientation of God. Bringing food to families and individuals in stress or even in celebration is a natural outpouring of the Spirit. Praise the Lord for those ladies!
Martha’s “make-do” attitude. . .and the heart of Mary. Those women know that physical needs must be attended to even in–especially in times of grief. Sharing a meal, sharing the load. . .I come from a long line of food women, and am proud to be a card carrying member myself. I hope my daughter embraces the tradition when her time comes.
Did you realize how close you were to Rome and Corinth? You were also right down the road from Chico.
Thank you for sharing the life of Sister Mattis. I look forward to meeting her Someday.
My grandma (Raydean Mattis) was a very great woman.
I really appreciated the words you said at the burrial.
They were very uplifting.