While living in Abilene, I finally (after 20+ yrs of struggling) came out. I am so thankful for the gay church in Abilene for without their support, I don’t know that I would be alive today!

I left Abilene, as I was told I could no longer be involved in the Medical Mission work in Haiti….. because I was a lesbian. Eight months later, my parents, along with my sister and brother-in-law (both went to Harding) disowned me.

I have often googled articles under your name, looking for your thoughts on this subject, so I was very happy to find this today.

I continue to live in Dallas and am in a healthy, loving lesbian relationship. I miss my family tremendously, but I would never ‘give up’ who God made me to be, just to make others around me comfortable. It took me years to love myself, knowing what I knew and felt deep inside. I now have peace in my life. I attend church, I help others, and I live a Christian life.

When heterosexuals talk about “Conversion Therapy”, I wish they would stop and think about one thing: could you as a heterosexual go to conversion classes to become Homosexual? Of course not! You could pretend to be homosexual…. but that isn’t truly who you are or who God made you to be.

It’s also hard to listen to heterosexuals who love to toss around the phrase “the lifestyle he/she has chosen”. Do they really think someone would just turn on the evening news, hear how much the world hates gays, the killings and ugly things people say to us (and behind our backs), knowing that we have no ‘perks’ (such as same sex health benefits), all of the extra papers we have to get signed to protect ourselves, our spouses, and our property… not to mention health care professionals who refuse to share information with our spouses because we are not ‘legally married’ (and the list goes on…), and after hearing this on the news, do you really think someone would say, “Oh, cool! I think I’ll choose to be gay! It sounds like great fun!”

I never chose to be this way, believe me! Life would be much easier in a lot of ways! What I do know is that I live my life each day, knowing that God loves me and cares for me. I know many in the Church of Christ (including my family) will use scripture all day to argue my life. For me, I am assured that I, along with many other ’sinners’, will someday enter the gates of heaven “but for the Grace of God”.

Thank you for having the courage to stand up and write something like this. You will never know how much it means to me.

Thanks for these words. Although I am not sure they go far enough I think they are a big leap for the Church of Christ. I am an ordained minister in the Churc of Chirst and was preaching in a pulpit till July of 2006. During the last twenty years I have allowed the “clobber passages” to rule my thinking on this topic and only recenlty revisted it. I tell you this because I am gay. I lived a closeted (i.e. did not confess this struggle) and celibate life. I think that we need to in the least bring this “sin” down to a level that is no different than any struggles a person goes through (i.e. greed, hatred, anger, lust), and we need to be more willing to look at this topic.

In my study over the last year I have come to realize that the Bible does not say nearly as much against this sin as one would think and maybe even less than one would believe. Homosxuality is an orientation that draws us to fall in love with people of the same gender. I think it is a gift from God that has uniquely qualified certain people in our world — no less that the gift of left-handedness — or being born in the month of May. All of the things that make us unique help us to better manifest the presence of Chirst in this world.

It is my prayer that the Church of Chirst and Christendom over all will really take an honest look at what it means to be gay. It is not some horrid lifestyle — but just a different way to be attracted to others. There are people in the gay community that live a hedonistic lifestyle, but I can promise you that there many more in the straight world doing the same.

Finally, I hope that the church will start to support equal rights for all gay individuals — including marriage — we don’t ask that the church conduct marriages — I personally wish, even as a minster, that all people would just get it done by the justice of the peace — just recognize our legal rights to be with and support and recieve support from the person that we love.

It is my prayer that I don’t have to live a life of shame — even as a celibate — but in the Church of Chirst — even the celibates are treated as second class citizen — straights see some prejudice — gays even worse.

I also ask that all my brothers and sisters would think twice and three times about what you say. I have been crushed so many times by words from your mouths. I am not a demon — I am not demon possessed — I am not deluded — I am not crazy — I am merely a human being who has been created differently and deal with my temptation(s) in a continuing relationship with God.

God Bless,

Marlin Bynum

In one of your points, you describe a safe environment in which other people with the same struggles can meet and support each other. How does one locate such a group, without fear of exposure?

However, other religious leaders voice strong opposition to same-sex unions. “We are so disturbed by this [bishop’s] decision,” stated Cynthia Brust, spokesperson for the American Anglican Council, a group of conservative Episcopalians. “Same-sex blessings contradict the clear teaching on marriage and sexuality from the Bible,” she said, adding that “sexuality . . . is to be confined to a man and woman in holy matrimony.”

The fire storm of controversy over this issue is not restricted to religion. Internationally, heated political debates are raging, since the social, political, and economic implications involving pensions, joint health care, and taxes are great.

Issues involving civil rights and legal recognition are often very complicated and divide public opinion. True Christians are careful to maintain neutrality by avoiding political debates. (John 17:16)* Still, some who respect the Bible find themselves confused regarding the subject of same-sex marriage and homosexuality. How do you view same-sex marriage? What is God’s standard for marriage? What impact does your attitude have on your relationship with God?

Our Creator Sets the Standard
Our Creator established rules governing marriage long before governments began regulating the institution. The opening book of the Bible tells us: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) The Hebrew word “wife,” according to Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words, “connotes one who is a female human being.” Jesus confirmed that those yoked together in marriage should be “male and female.”—Matthew 19:4.

Thus, God intended marriage to be a permanent and an intimate bond between a man and a woman. Men and women are designed to complement each other so they may be capable of satisfying each other’s emotional, spiritual, and sexual needs and desires.

The well-known Biblical account of Sodom and Gomorrah reveals God’s feelings about homosexuality. God declared: “The cry of complaint about Sodom and Gomorrah, yes, it is loud, and their sin, yes, it is very heavy.” (Genesis 18:20) The extent of their sinful depravity at that time was apparent when two guests visited the righteous man Lot. “The men of Sodom . . . surrounded the house, from boy to old man, all the people in one mob. And they kept calling out to Lot and saying to him: ‘Where are the men who came in to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have intercourse with them.’” (Genesis 19:4, 5) The Bible says: “The men of Sodom were bad and were gross sinners against Jehovah.”—Genesis 13:13.

The men became “violently inflamed in their lust toward one another, males with males.” (Romans 1:27) They had “gone out after flesh for unnatural use.” (Jude 7) In countries where homosexual rights campaigns are pervasive, some may object to using the word “unnatural” to describe homosexual behavior. However, is not God the final arbiter when it comes to nature? He commanded his ancient people: “You must not lie down with a male the same as you lie down with a woman. It is a detestable thing.”— Leviticus 18:22.

Your Accountability to God
The Bible is clear: God does not approve of or condone homosexual practices. He also disapproves of people who “consent with those practicing them.” (Romans 1:32) And “marriage” cannot give homosexuality a cloak of respectability. God’s direction that “marriage be honorable among all” precludes homosexual unions, which he considers detestable.—Hebrews 13:4.

Still, with God’s help, anyone can learn to “abstain from fornication,” which includes homosexual acts, and “get possession of his own vessel in sanctification and honor.”(1 Thessalonians 4:3, 4)

14 You, however, continue in the things that you learned and were persuaded to believe, knowing from what persons you learned them 15 and that from infancy you have known the holy writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through the faith in connection with Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be fully competent, completely equipped for every good work.

i realize what the bible says about marriage, but like Anonymous in LA, i also realize that we don’t follow half of the commands in the bible because they are inconvenient and don’t apply to today. i don’t want to argue about the ‘inerrancy’ of scripture, but i don’t believe the bible is a rule book. i believe that the bible is part of the story of christianity, and that the commands given by cool guys like paul, peter and the likes are given to a certain time for certain reason, and we need to understand those reasons before saying ‘the bible said it, so that’s enough for me’. just my opinion. you are free to continue to disagree with me.

“The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” I Corinthians 6:13

“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.” I Corinthians 6:15-17

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” I Cor 6:18-20

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God.” I Thess 4:3-5

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Hebrews 13:4

I just wanted to thank you for your thoughts. Until the disciples were able to get together and work out their differences and be on one accord the holy spirit could not be poured out. Now until the church can come together in a spirit of love for each other and obedience to God we can’t expect him to pour his Spirit upon us. Can you imagine what would happen if God gave us that kind of power and all we could do was go about smiting one another instead of using His power in love. Maybe the time is coming when we all look to the author and finisher of our faith as our true pattern. And then the fire will fall.