I need to make one correction to an announcement in this morning’s Highland bulletin.
There is a luncheon after the ladies’ class this Tuesday. But what we MEANT to say was “Please bring a lunch for your child.”
We didn’t mean to say “Please bring a child for your lunch.”
That was a mistake. As a parent, I understand what it’s like to hit your limit. But as a minister, I have to emphasize: cannibalism is never the appropriate answer.
So ladies, bring a lunch for your child, but do NOT bring a child for your lunch.
I’ve seen a lot of good church bulletin bloopers, but that one may be my new all-time favorite.
ROFLOL
That gives “having someone for dinner” a whole new meaning!
I knew Highland had a reputation for being “way out there” on the cutting edge of things in some more conservative religious circles, but I had no idea it went THAT far . . .
When I traveled in my work some years ago, I was visiting the Killen Church of Christ in Florence, Alabama. As the brother made the announcements, he was trying to say we will have the first Sunday singing this month at the Killen Church of Christ. Instead he said we will have the first Sunday Killen at the Singing Church of Christ. The funniest thing was not that he made this mistake, but that I seemed to be the only one laughing.
Peace
…we pray for those who are sick of this church…
Hi Mike,
Hey, Mike — when I first started at Highland (the first time), David Lang was always putting jokes in his bulletin copy that certain people knew were supposed to be deleted before publication. There was some study series called “I Stand Amazed” that he had called “I Stand and Graze.” It got printed that way. (And I was the new girl, but someone else was actually responsible for this.) Anyway, I remember you laughing so hard that you were leaning up against that giant filing cabinet to keep from falling over. I didn’t know if I should try to keep you from falling or go ahead and let you fall to the floor and then call for help.
And remember when the Special Needs ministry got printed up as “Sexual Needs” for the ministry fair flier? Bill Nash said, “Well, I guess we’ll need a couch for that booth.”
Sorry about the earlier post,. I hit submit to soon. I was wondering if you have an email address I could contact, I have a few things I was wanting your input on. I don’t want to list them here, but it is not solicitation of anything! By the way, I am a daily reader and I really appreciate your postings.
That wouldn’t have to be cannibalism….couldn’t the ladies just be trading their children for their lunch. Bartering isn’t too common these days, but…..
In our church we have several men’s and women’s restrooms. We had a flood one day after a pipe broke in the old bathrooms. They were out of service for awhile. Our dear elder and church family news editor wrote the following in the bulletin on Sunday morning:
“Please do not use the old men’s bathroom.”
This led many to wonder if we had a young men’s bathroom.
Oh, and just as an aside….Bartering is a good thing!!!!
That is hilarious!
Can I share something with you all that blessed me today? This is a quote from C.S. Lewis. I read it in his book on the 11/2 hour drive home from Otter Creek today, which by the way was a vessel for God’s Spirit poured upon me again yet another week. How humbled I was as three different ministers from the Baptist, Methodist, and Bible churches (their neighbors on Franklin Rd?) came to pray with the members there as they transition into their new building. I was humbled because I was starkly reminded of who I have been as I sat there and listened to Godly men pray for that community of believers. The legalistic sinner got a glimpse of herself, and praise God I no longer walk in my righteousness. I am honored to be able to call out the name of Jesus with those men who are not of my Church of Christ community. Enough of that, and on to Lewis’s quote which God obviously led me to after today’s service.
How is it that people who are quite obviously eaten up with PRIDE can say they believe in God and appear to themselves very religious? I am afraid it means they are worshiping an imaginary God. They theoretically admit themselves to be nothing in the presence of this phantom God, but are really all the time imagining how HE approves of them and thinks them far better than ordinary people: that is, they pay a pennyworth of imaginary humility to HIM and get out of it a POUNDSWORTH OF PRIDE to wards their fellow-men. I suppose it was of those people Christ was thinking when He said that some would preach about Him and cast out devils in His name, only to be told at the end of the world He had never known them. And any of us at any moment may be in this death trap. Luckily, we have a test. Whenever we find that our religious life is making us feel that we are good-above all, we are better than someone else-I think we may be sure that we are being acted on, not by God, but by the devil. The real test of being in the presence of God is, that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether.
Today is my 33rd birthday. This, perhaps is one the best birthday gifts I have ever received. Insight. Insight into myself. Good night everyone.
Insight is a wonderful birthday present, Melissa. Thanks for passing it along to us. Wonderful.
Being the father of a preteen I can Under stand why some species eat there young.
Mike,
There are times when humor from the church bulletins is just too much. Thanks for posting it to the your stie. I love the bulletin bloopers and announcement bloopers that go around. It reminds all to keep our sense of humor.
Melissa,
Unless I’m a bad guesser, you must be the same Melissa who has also been posting to the GCMF the last several days. Glad to have you there and nice to see you post here.
Hey Wiley! You are a good guesser! It is me, Melissa. My husband and I are on the other side of a huge church explosion. It was an accident that I found GCMF-somehow when I was looking for the Otter Creek website, I came across a website called “concerned members” our wounds from our church ordeal are still healing, but that website was like a toxin for them. But had I never found it, I would have never found GCMF and ultimately Mike’s blogsite. I enjoying interacting with christians from all over the country-I have lived in Huntsville my whole life-it’s all I’ve know. Praise God, there is more to know, such as the people who seem to be constantly seeking our Father on these forums/blogs. When I get sleepy, I rattle on and on. I will release you from that bondage! Have a blessed evening.
Mike,
I am guessing that the apostles must have thought a similar mistake was being made when Jesus said, “Take eat, this is my body . . .”
Surely someone thought, “What??! God sent his son to be our dinner?”
They were waiting for a “correction” and never got one.
They got a “resurrection” . . . which is better.
Happy Easter.
I have to correct my grammatical errors from above! I was so sleepy last night! “it is all I know” I meant to say it is all I’ve known! This is simply my borderline OCD making this correction!
If it was a sack lunch, would you say the kids got sacked?
Very funny!