Comments on: Real Sex http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573 Sniffing out the work of God in the world... Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:17:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Find a sex partner now http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-67018 Find a sex partner now Thu, 30 Aug 2007 12:20:56 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-67018 <strong> Biggest dating portal in the world, come meet women tonight!...</strong> ... Biggest dating portal in the world, come meet women tonight!…

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]]> By: Albert Rogers http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-41214 Albert Rogers Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:08:31 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-41214 Google is the best search engine Google is the best search engine

]]> By: LBC http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6727 LBC Tue, 22 Nov 2005 00:51:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6727 This sounds like a great book. I am a 47-year-old virgin. Yes, it is possible to "wait". I grew up in that "no mixed swimming or dancing" era, a CoC preacher's daughter. We lived on the coast when I was in middle school and I wasn't allowed to wear a swim suit when all my friends were wearing 2-piece suits because I had to be the example for them. Yeah, right. I don't think a one of them wore long shorts and a tee shirt because I did. They all thought I was nuts. My parents brought me up to believe premarital sex was wrong because the bible teaches that it is. I never considered having sex outside of marriage as a teenager, partly out of fear of pregnancy, partly out of fear and respect for my parents, and partly out of fear of God. I was in my first serious relationship only a couple of years ago. I knew I wanted to wait until we got married...after all I've waited this long, right? Up front in that relationship I let him know what the boundaries were. I have come to understand that waiting until marriage for sex is not depriving myself of something but is saving something special for my husband-to-be. I think part of the problem in our society is the message we are constantly bombarded with on TV, in music, and in the movies that you can't possibly be happy unless you are having sex and that if you don't have sex you are depriving yourself of something you deserve. Talk about a lie straight from the pit of hell. And we expose ourselves and our kids to this all day long every day. The church has become desensitized to the message we are getting every time we turn on the TV--parents are stupid, kids run the family, sex is okay, and on and on. Satan is very good at his deceptions isn't he. Two 20-something couples I know have made a vow to not even kiss until the preacher says "You may kiss the bride". Talk about self-control. Talk about a beautiful gift to give each other. Talk about a wonderful first kiss. I try not to let the opportunity go to minister to young women with my testimony of abstinence. This sounds like a great book.

I am a 47-year-old virgin. Yes, it is possible to “wait”. I grew up in that “no mixed swimming or dancing” era, a CoC preacher’s daughter. We lived on the coast when I was in middle school and I wasn’t allowed to wear a swim suit when all my friends were wearing 2-piece suits because I had to be the example for them. Yeah, right. I don’t think a one of them wore long shorts and a tee shirt because I did. They all thought I was nuts.

My parents brought me up to believe premarital sex was wrong because the bible teaches that it is. I never considered having sex outside of marriage as a teenager, partly out of fear of pregnancy, partly out of fear and respect for my parents, and partly out of fear of God. I was in my first serious relationship only a couple of years ago. I knew I wanted to wait until we got married…after all I’ve waited this long, right? Up front in that relationship I let him know what the boundaries were. I have come to understand that waiting until marriage for sex is not depriving myself of something but is saving something special for my husband-to-be.

I think part of the problem in our society is the message we are constantly bombarded with on TV, in music, and in the movies that you can’t possibly be happy unless you are having sex and that if you don’t have sex you are depriving yourself of something you deserve. Talk about a lie straight from the pit of hell. And we expose ourselves and our kids to this all day long every day. The church has become desensitized to the message we are getting every time we turn on the TV–parents are stupid, kids run the family, sex is okay, and on and on. Satan is very good at his deceptions isn’t he.

Two 20-something couples I know have made a vow to not even kiss until the preacher says “You may kiss the bride”. Talk about self-control. Talk about a beautiful gift to give each other. Talk about a wonderful first kiss.

I try not to let the opportunity go to minister to young women with my testimony of abstinence.

]]> By: jettalyn http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6726 jettalyn Fri, 18 Nov 2005 03:57:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6726 I would have to say I agree most with little light. Being single and nearly 40, I HATE going to wedding & baby showers b/c of that feeling that I'm "not supposed to understand and get the sexual jokes" b/c I'm not married. I don't know how I'm supposed to act. Embarrassed and shy? Or smile b/c I do "get it"! And some of the advice about how to handle dating after college and living on my own in my own place would have been greatly appreciated. It's much easier to be chaste when living at home or in a college dorm with some sort of supervision and expectations, than it is when you are single and lonely. Talk about Satan jumping in with the tempations!!!! Thanks for voicing this topic and so many sharing their ideas and viewpoints. I no longer feel like such an outsider. I would have to say I agree most with little light. Being single and nearly 40, I HATE going to wedding & baby showers b/c of that feeling that I’m “not supposed to understand and get the sexual jokes” b/c I’m not married. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act. Embarrassed and shy? Or smile b/c I do “get it”! And some of the advice about how to handle dating after college and living on my own in my own place would have been greatly appreciated. It’s much easier to be chaste when living at home or in a college dorm with some sort of supervision and expectations, than it is when you are single and lonely. Talk about Satan jumping in with the tempations!!!!
Thanks for voicing this topic and so many sharing their ideas and viewpoints. I no longer feel like such an outsider.

]]> By: Little Light http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6725 Little Light Wed, 16 Nov 2005 16:22:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6725 Actually, what I mean to say is that not only doesn't it go away upon graduation from college, but it gets much worse. You no longer have parents or dorm mothers watching over you. Christian colleges would do well to spend some of their energy used to encourage marriage amongst students to teach students what to do if they don't get married at 22 or at all. Practical advice (like inviting a date to your apartment for coffee means it will be next to impossible to get him out) as well as spiritual. Or what to do when you're at a church bridal shower and all of the married women are giggling and you have to sit there and pretend like you don't get all of the jokes because you're supposed to be completely naive as well as innocent. I could go on. Actually, what I mean to say is that not only doesn’t it go away upon graduation from college, but it gets much worse. You no longer have parents or dorm mothers watching over you. Christian colleges would do well to spend some of their energy used to encourage marriage amongst students to teach students what to do if they don’t get married at 22 or at all. Practical advice (like inviting a date to your apartment for coffee means it will be next to impossible to get him out) as well as spiritual. Or what to do when you’re at a church bridal shower and all of the married women are giggling and you have to sit there and pretend like you don’t get all of the jokes because you’re supposed to be completely naive as well as innocent. I could go on.

]]> By: Little Light http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6724 Little Light Wed, 16 Nov 2005 16:01:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6724 I appreciate Lauren Winner because she addresses issues that adult single christians deal with. For some, making it to 22 and remaining pure is much less of a challenge than it is to make it to 40 (even logistically speaking) and while it's important to discuss sexuality amongst teens, the issue doesn't go away once you graduate from high school or college. It's nice to have these struggles recognized realistically and taken seriously for once. I appreciate Lauren Winner because she addresses issues that adult single christians deal with. For some, making it to 22 and remaining pure is much less of a challenge than it is to make it to 40 (even logistically speaking) and while it’s important to discuss sexuality amongst teens, the issue doesn’t go away once you graduate from high school or college. It’s nice to have these struggles recognized realistically and taken seriously for once.

]]> By: Joel Maners http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6723 Joel Maners Tue, 15 Nov 2005 16:25:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6723 In Richard Foster's book Money Sex and Power (now called The Challenge of the Disciplined Life), he speaks of how we often treat unmarried christians as a-sexual. He has some interesing thoughts on how we can confirm the sexuality of singles and elderly members in a wholesome way. I'm going to have to go back and re-read it. I remember how after getting married I suddenly felt "discovered" by the church. It was like I had become a real person in the eyes of everyone. I'm afraid that we simply don't see the unmarried and elderly as sexual beings at all. That's a shame. In Richard Foster’s book Money Sex and Power (now called The Challenge of the Disciplined Life), he speaks of how we often treat unmarried christians as a-sexual. He has some interesing thoughts on how we can confirm the sexuality of singles and elderly members in a wholesome way. I’m going to have to go back and re-read it. I remember how after getting married I suddenly felt “discovered” by the church. It was like I had become a real person in the eyes of everyone. I’m afraid that we simply don’t see the unmarried and elderly as sexual beings at all. That’s a shame.

]]> By: Neal W. http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6722 Neal W. Tue, 15 Nov 2005 15:40:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6722 My daughter's preschool just held a slumber party fundraiser where they would look after the kids for an evening (or even all night) and give parents a night off. MY mother was horrified at the blatant sexuality of a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds, wearing their favorite pajamas and oversized cartoon character slippers spending the night in the same building. She said, "I don't think Christians should be involved in that." I said, "They take naps in that building every afternoon." She replied, "Yes, but this is at night." Apparently even Barney-aged crowd can't resist the lust-inducing power of a dimly lit room. My daughter’s preschool just held a slumber party fundraiser where they would look after the kids for an evening (or even all night) and give parents a night off. MY mother was horrified at the blatant sexuality of a bunch of 3 and 4 year olds, wearing their favorite pajamas and oversized cartoon character slippers spending the night in the same building. She said, “I don’t think Christians should be involved in that.” I said, “They take naps in that building every afternoon.” She replied, “Yes, but this is at night.”

Apparently even Barney-aged crowd can’t resist the lust-inducing power of a dimly lit room.

]]> By: Neal W. http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6721 Neal W. Tue, 15 Nov 2005 15:31:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6721 Where are all the comments from the no-mixed-swimming, dancing-will-get-you-pregnant crowd? I know you're out there... Where are all the comments from the no-mixed-swimming, dancing-will-get-you-pregnant crowd? I know you’re out there…

]]> By: David Johnson http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6720 David Johnson Tue, 15 Nov 2005 06:28:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6720 I was pleasantly surprised with that book, having never read "Girl Meets God." It really amazes me that the church had to wait so long for an authentic voice on this subject. I was pleasantly surprised with that book, having never read “Girl Meets God.” It really amazes me that the church had to wait so long for an authentic voice on this subject.

]]> By: Matt http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6719 Matt Tue, 15 Nov 2005 01:06:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6719 Mike- I'm disappointed that I missed a great message Sunday morning. Maybe the morning wasn't a complete waste, since I was at a soccer tournament coaching a girl's team that includes my 8 year-old (true!). Little did I know that I was engaged in the ministry of soccer [G]! Mike-
I’m disappointed that I missed a great message Sunday morning. Maybe the morning wasn’t a complete waste, since I was at a soccer tournament coaching a girl’s team that includes my 8 year-old (true!). Little did I know that I was engaged in the ministry of soccer [G]!

]]> By: Mandy http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6718 Mandy Tue, 15 Nov 2005 00:37:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6718 Hey Mike, We had to read that book and write a reflection paper on it in Robert O's class. I really enjoyed it and have passed along the word about it to my friends. Good post. Hey Mike, We had to read that book and write a reflection paper on it in Robert O’s class. I really enjoyed it and have passed along the word about it to my friends. Good post.

]]> By: Leland http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6717 Leland Mon, 14 Nov 2005 23:10:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6717 This post has been removed by the author. This post has been removed by the author.

]]> By: David http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6716 David Mon, 14 Nov 2005 22:37:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6716 TKP - was that a Freudian slip? TKP - was that a Freudian slip?

]]> By: TKP http://preachermike.com/2005/11/14/113197177081023573#comment-6715 TKP Mon, 14 Nov 2005 20:41:00 +0000 http://www.preachermike.com/?p=632#comment-6715 Um, I meant "way to go on the sexy POSTS," not pots. Just clarifying. :) Um, I meant “way to go on the sexy POSTS,” not pots. Just clarifying. :)

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