Comments on: Let Everything That Has Breasts Praise the Lord

By: roj

roj — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 05:57:00 +0000

when I was about 15, on a christian camp, sitting around a table taking turns reading through a passage of the bible, one of the guys mis-read “sexual immorality” as “sexual immorTality” .

Priceless.

By: Kyle T

Kyle T — Sat, 18 Dec 2004 02:41:00 +0000

These comments have really been quite humorous. Unlike the jokes about what churches have put in their bulletins, I’ve never heard these before!

My uncle Terry is a very successful lawyer in Oklahoma City. Sometimes he really gets into his work. One memorable Sunday night when I was a kid, he got up to lead a prayer at our church and began, “Your Honor…”

By: Ryan

Ryan — Sun, 12 Dec 2004 20:18:00 +0000

One Sunday morning my pastor was visibly sick and although sniffly, had made it most of the way through his talk. Everything was going quite nicely until he started reading from Acts 14…
” At Iconium Paul and Barnabas went as usual into the Jewish Synagogue. There they spoke so effectively that a great number of Jews and Gentiles believed.”
then:
“But the Jews who refused to believe stirred up their genitals… er their genitals…. um i meant the gentiles.”
His face turned bright red and everyone in the place nearly died.

By: Serena Voss

Serena Voss — Sat, 11 Dec 2004 12:17:00 +0000

Larry,

If you had an active blog, I would comment on it, but since I found no entries, let me just say that it was nice to see your name after all these years. Hope the family is well.

By: Larry

Larry — Sat, 11 Dec 2004 10:48:00 +0000

I hope our eyes are opened and we can say, “Yes I now see clearly…..”sorry for being such a pain with my beliefs”.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:09:00 +0000

Remember how at College CoC in Searcy the “reserved for mothers with young children” section was at the far left hand side of the building, closest to the front, so that they were nearest the nursery? Back then you couldn’t take a child to the nursery who was older than 18 months; they had to go all the way back to the Cry Room, which was in the foyer. If you’ve never been to College, that is a quite a trek.

Back when Dale Foster was preaching there, I was a freshman at Harding. Bro. Foster wasn’t exactly the most, um, fiery of preachers, so the auditorium was usually pretty quiet. One Sunday morning, a young child was getting antsy in the MWYC section, so the mom picked him up and started walking back to the Cry Room. When the kid suddenly yelled out, “Somebody help me, she’s going to KILL me!”

I wonder sometimes if that woman just kept on walking when she reached the back and never came back.

That’s my favorite “laughing in church” story. The runners-up are the time my friend said, in a public prayer, “Be with those who are sick of the congregation”, and the time an elderly man at my parents’ church asked for a blessing on “the fruit of the loom.”

–Lisa

By: MarkS

MarkS — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 16:07:00 +0000

Then there was the time Harold Hazelip referred to Abraham’s posterior instead of his posterity. We need to put that one behind us!

By: ann

ann — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 14:55:00 +0000

I’m sure this is fairly common, but on several occasions I have heard about falling prostates rather than falling prostrate.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 14:25:00 +0000

Can today’s blog and comments be published as a book? Add a few more, and it’ll be ready for the Christian market (and deeper than 90% of the books there!).

By: Mandy

Mandy — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 13:35:00 +0000

A friend of mine in college swore he heard a preacher that mis-spoke and told his entire audience that the Jews bound “Prophylactics” to their heads (instead of the correct term “Phylacteries”). I’m chuckling as I write that story… had to have been hysterical when it happened!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 10 Dec 2004 05:10:00 +0000

I remember a prayer led by one of our deacons one Sunday morning serveral years ago. It was right around Thanksgiving, and so naturally most of our prayers focused on thanks and blessings and the sort. He began normally, by thanking God for food, and the nature outside, and so on. But then he went back and proceeded to name specific foods he was thankful for. Something along the lines of “Lord, we thank you for beef, and chicken, and pork, and steak, and fish….and for the birds. Blue jays, cardinals, finches, and hummingbirds…and flowers, too. Daffodils, and periwinkles, and dandelions” Quite a few snickers ran through the congregation of about 1000 sitting in front of him in the pews.
-Greg Parks, soph Bible major, Harding University

By: Keith Brenton

Keith Brenton — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 19:54:00 +0000

Oh, I just remembered the one Dr. Jack Ryan used to tell on himself. When recording the gospels on tape (just imagine his deep, mellifluous voice intoning KJV Scripture), he would record continuously so that errors could be edited out later.

He once went late into the night until he got to Phillipians 4:3 where Paul was asking for help sorting out the problems between Euodia and Syntyche. Instead of reading “I beseech thee also, true yokefellow …” he read “I beseech the also, true yellow folk … uh, true yellow folk … uh, YELLOW FOLK!” and then the tape dissolved into maniacal laughter.

By: TKP

TKP — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 18:04:00 +0000

As a previous student of Randy’s Acts-Revelation class, I remember him spending one class period on Revelation, but I don’t remember what he said. We kept on bugging Randy to say the books of the Bible in less than 60 seconds, and he did! That part I remember.

And I am all about explaining the baptizing of the dead. And bringing in the pugs as guests.

By: David U

David U — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 16:51:00 +0000

Sorry that came up as anonymous…don’t know how that happened.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 09 Dec 2004 16:49:00 +0000

In Liberia, the word “Hell” is used as an accepted adjective. I am not condoning that, mind you, just relating the facts. Not long after we had been there, at the conclusion of the service my dad asked if there were any more announcements to be made. One older gentleman stood up and said: “Brother David, after service is over we are going to have a hell-of-a business meeting today”. Yep, I confess we both fell out laughing, as all of them looked at us like we were crazy. He never asked for additional announcements after that.