A week after the conference in Dallas with you, my life has crashed, and I am picking up the pieces, but I continue to examine my decisions that preceeded the crash. What could I have done differently, why didn’t I do this or that?

Right now I am working on remembering the Hoyts to help me remember how God is working in my life and how much I can really control.

Every good thing in life is evidence that I am not in control. My wife is my greatest blessing. My kids come next. No matter how much I love them and how much they love me, control is not a word I would use to describe the relationship we have. Even growing old (OK I’m only 34, but there is that gray hair…on my ears!!!) is a blessing, but proof that I can’t control aging. And certianly my relationship with God has got to be my biggest piece of evidence that I am not in control. Every plan I have ever made has been changed in large or small measure…or scrapped altogether Yeah, pretty much not in control.

I love/hate the idea that I am not in control. However, the evidence keeps piling up that requires me to either accept that I am not in control or actively dive deeper into my own delusions. Sadly, I am a really good diver.

Have you ever read any of Greg Boyd’s stuff on Open Theism? It has really helped me to understand the war we are in, and that yes, things do happen, but it is our faith in God to work things towards His desired end, and my cooperation with His efforts in this spiritual war that make a difference.

It’s not exactly the same as what you’re talking about, but it is related. When I read this, I immediately thought of Dr. Boyd’s writings.

She explained that the voice must float on air from the diaphram, much like a cork floats on water - neither one puts any pressure on the other - they just float together, up and down the musical scale.

It isn’t the easiest thing to do, but during those ‘out of control’ times, if I remember to let the problems ‘float’ on the water of God’s strength and His love; relying on His wisdom - expecting His promised grace, there comes a peace in His comfort and support that is truly one of His greatest miracles in my life.

It is an ongoing process to not only believe this, but to remember to put it in practice, and as a totally human human being I often forget to do so. But it’s becoming easier to remember and apply the concept. Hopefully, by the time I reach the rapidly approaching 8th decade of life, it will be more automatic.